To Thyself Be True

A couple years ago I wrote an article for One Peter Five titled, "Two Fingers to Death: On Siberia, Sedes, and Schism." In it I wrote about the fascinating story and history of "Old Believers" who fled Russia after the heavy-handed liturgical reforms of Patriarch Nikon in the 17th Century, which were backed by the State.

A 70 year old woman hermit named Agafia, whose family settled in the Siberian wilderness to escape persecution, was one of the last of these Bezpopovtsys who rejected the reforms and clung tightly to what they saw as the original expression of the true Faith. She survived on potatoes, turnips, fish, bread, and bark, had a large tumor in her breast that she lived with, and would not accept bags of flour that had a barcode because barcodes were a sign of the Beast. "Worldy life is frightening," she says. "If Christians sing wordly songs, they're doomed to eternal suffering. Same for music. Everyone who enjoys dancing creates infamy." 

One of these Orthodox liturgical reforms involved the change from two fingers to three in the sign of the cross. The iconic martyr-saint of Old Believers is Boyaryna Morozova, who was personified in the Suilov painting  of her being carried away to her death on a sled while holding up the "two fingers" in defiance. 

As I mentioned in the article, I see Agafia and Morozova's resistance as a mix of Russian fortitude, admirable stubborness, dogmatic integrity, and religious fervor. I also asked the question, "What is the true Faith? Are we willing to die, be exiled, live cut off from society, to preserve it? Does it really matter whether we use two fingers of three in rituals like the sign of the cross? Who has the authority to interpret Scipture, proclaim dogma, and excommunicate? What makes one Catholic?"

My heart was heavy this morning after hearing news of the heavy-handed vaccine mandates being put in place by the current Administration. I know many of my friends are going to suffer for this, and it was a heavy feeling. In speaking with a friend in Australia, she shared that a strongly anti-vax family they are friends with were in Australia for the past five years, had built a network, community, good jobs, etc, and then up and fled to Mexico in the course of a week over this. The husband doesn't speak the language, and he now needs to find work in a foreign country. This is real. As my friend wrote, "People of such deep conviction even made me waver on whether I love the Lord as deeply as they did!"

I have shared her sentiments. I have had the feeling from time to time of feeling like a Judas, a defector, for not having such a stance like a large majority of my friends. But then again, as I shared in one of my previous posts, is resisting the vaccine a sign of moral integrity on it's own standing? Are those who do more virtuous, to be emulated? Those on the left would share the President's almost sinister sentiment that they are irresponsible, deplorable, obstinate and difficult people that need to be brought into line. Their virtue signaling is that to love, to care, is to vaccinate. I don't take this stance. 

I also don't think anyone is going to be canonized for resisting a vaccine either. As a friend said the other day, "it is what comes out of the heart that defiles, not what goes into the body." There are arguments to be made from different angles, I suppose, on that. But my point is that these are real and onerous consequences for those who, for their own reasons, have chosen to resist this mandate to the point of persecution. Is it religious persecution? Nationalistic? Personal? A matter of liberty? Medical choice? I'm not sure. It's all so confusing. But people are going to pay, and suffer for it.

I think people need to be true to themselves and their consciences. This may mean not using preferred pronouns on the basis of not lying. It may mean being arrested for not being able to turn a blind eye to the slaughter of innocents. But when the price tag for such decisions can be high, one cannot afford to be wavering, "a man of two minds" as St. James says, when it comes to they "why's" of those convictions. Because they will be tested, and you need to know the ground you stand on.

I had written another article for One Peter Five exploring this issue of what makes a martyr, using the life of political dissident and Christian Lin Zhao who was jailed in Communist China, as the backdrop for this exploration. It is an existential one at it's core--none of your social media friends, none of your extended relatives or family or work collogues, will be sharing your jail cell with you, or joining you in Siberia or Mexico or wherever. The weight of your choices will be on your shoulders. And that can be heavy. It's no wonder why people waver, apostatize, step on the fumie, pinch the incense, and what have you. Lin Zhao was admirably and wildly obstinate in the eyes of the CCP Regime, a gnat swimming in their liquour. She died gaunt and alone, but she died for an ideal. 

The question is, what are you living for and what are you dying for? Only you can make that determination. Your conscience is your refuge where one dwells with God, alone, and is sacred. You cannot betray it, and you cannot discern it without prayer, especially in matters of religion. 

But sometimes the lines are not so clearly drawn, as discernment can get blurry. I just want all my friends facing these choices to know that I have been praying for them, for their choices, their perseverance, their suffering, and will continue to do so in late-night Adorations. Whatever side of the fence we fall on in light of this distressing iron fist of government, let us always put the Lord and our religion first, and take heart that the Lord will never leave for forsake us, even when it seems everyone else has. Your Siberia may be closer than you think.