In Vain Have I Kept My Heart Pure

 "But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled; my steps had nearly slipped,

Because I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

Such, then, are the wicked, always carefree, increasing their wealth

Is it in vain that I have kept my heart pure, washed my hands in innocence?

For I am afflicted day after day, chastised every morning.

Had I thought, 'I will speak as they do,' I would have betrayed this generation of your children.

Though I tried to understand all this, it was too difficult for me,

Till I entered the sanctuary of God and came to understand their end." 

(Psalm 73:2-3,12-17)

Sometimes scripture speaks words into us more potently than the words we formulate for ourselves. This was the case tonight in praying the Psalms (69-73). I apologize I don't have anything more to write; I am feeling pretty hollowed out these days. I open my mouth and it is like a dry spigot. I put one foot in front of the other, will my devotion in the absence of feeling. Doubt is like a lapdog that won't leave me alone but is constantly running into my line of sight and nipping at me from afar. Like I said, the Psalmist spoke to my heart this evening, gave me the words I didn't have myself in desolation. I pray the Lord will sustain me.