As we enter into the upcoming penitential season, I’ve discerned that the Lord is calling me into the night of faith to focus on my own need for reflection, purification, and detachment. There is simply too much noise and public commentary and I am only adding to it by my words.

To that end I will be taking an extended break during Lent to listen rather than speak (write), to pray, fast and do penance. The road is long and I am only at the beginning, with nothing to offer the Lord but my own weakness, brokenness, and sinfulness. As one commenter noted, I am nothing but a naive and ignorant little boy. He’s not wrong.

Please keep my family in your prayers and I will pray for you as well. May Our Lady keep us all cloaked in her mantle. 

“For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.” (Ps 51:3)

The Signs Of The Times

"And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places." 

(Mt 24:6-7)

I try not to be overly-apocalyptic in my personal life and on this blog. I really do. I try not to be intentionally sensationalist or alarmist.

But I've been dealing with a sense of malaise and dis-ease all day over Russia's invasion of Ukraine. I am not well-informed in geopolitics, but I do have a basic understanding of Mariology and hermeuneutical eschatology. 

For those who don't, here's some basics (from Wiki, for brevity):

"The Consecration of Russia to the Immaculate Heart of Mary by a specific act of a reigning Pope along with all the other Catholic bishops of the world was ordered in a Marian apparition by Our Lady of Fátima in 13 July 1917. Sister Lúcia dos Santos, one of the three visionaries publicly stated that at different times the Virgin Mary had given her a message of promise, that the consecration of Russia (as a country) would usher in a period of world peace.

The Vatican stated that Sister Lúcia declared to them in private correspondence during the 1980s that the consecration offered by Pope John Paul II in Saint Peter's Square on 25 March 1984 had been properly accomplished and was “accepted in Heaven”.

The authenticity of this is vehemently rejected by some traditionalist Catholics, including those at Fatima Centre, namely Father Nicholas Gruner, Christopher Ferrara, the SSPX, among others, who support claims of parallelism to the Marian apparitions of Our Lady of Akita in 1973."

For those unfamiliar with Akita (Japan), one of the messages from Our Lady there:

“As I told you, if men do not repent and better themselves, the Father will inflict a terrible punishment on all humanity. It will be a punishment greater than the deluge, such as one will never have seen before. Fire will fall from the sky and will wipe out a great part of humanity, the good as well as the bad, sparing neither priests nor faithful. The survivors will find themselves so desolate that they will envy the dead. The only arms which will remain for you will be the Rosary and the Sign left by My Son. Each day recite the prayers of the Rosary. With the Rosary, pray for the Pope, the bishops and priests”

I've always interpreted this (don't hold me to it) "fire from the sky" as nuclear annihilation. I guess we'll have to stay tuned to see how things play out. 

No one could say that there was no demonic element in Hitler. You don't just exterminate millions of God's chosen people on a whim. Exorcist Fr. Gabriele Amorth: "If one thinks of what was committed by people like Stalin or Hitler, certainly they were possessed by the devil. This is seen in their actions, in their behavior and in the horrors they committed."

Would it be a stretch to presuppose Satan, during his 100 year reign, couldn't make use of Putin in similar fashion? World War II began with Germany's invasion of Poland; are we on the brink of World War III with Russia's invasion of Ukraine? Is it mere coincidence that the "errors of Russia" be made manifest in our lifetime? If Communist China allies with Russia to realign the axis of geo-hegemony and unseat the U.S. as a global superpower...why would we be surprised? Alexander Tytler: 

“The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations has been 200 years. These nations have progressed through this sequence: From bondage to spiritual faith; From spiritual faith to great courage; From courage to liberty; From liberty to abundance; From abundance to selfishness; From selfishness to apathy; From apathy to dependence; From dependence back into bondage.”

There's natural and geo-political reasons for Russia's invasion of Ukraine, of course; maybe Putin smelled weakness and incompetency in the U.S. presidential cabinet and simply capitalized on timing. Maybe there was an element of humiliation since the fall of the USSR that is goading him on. Perhaps the temptation of laying claim to the breadbasket of Europe was too great to pass up. 

But I have to believe there are supernatural forces at work as well. Our Lady has been appearing with such frequency these past few hundred years to warn us; have we listened? Have we heeded her call to repentance, fervent prayer, and penance? Or have we doubled down on our woke delusions, murderous appetite, and attachments to sinful disorder? I think the answer is obvious. 

“If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?” (1 Peter 4:18) The words of St. Peter ring in my ear. The living will envy the dead. 

I will admit, lest I think myself more detached and spiritual then I am, when the news first broke about Russia's invasion of Ukraine, my first thoughts were purely material: "how will I heat my house?" "What about cyber attacks?" "Will we be able to afford a long drive vacation this summer?" "What about the markets? The supply chain?" "What if WE are attacked?" Etc. 

These are reasonable questions for a worldly person, but they should be secondary for a Christian, who should have no worry about what he is to eat and drink and wear (Mt 6:25) and who would concern himself in charity for the welfare of those truly suffering (especially our Eastern Catholic brethren) through this in the affected countries. It's embarrassing. 

Adding insult to injury, is the echoing of St. Francis de Sales words in my ear as well, "Anxiety is the greatest evil that can befall a soul, except sin. God commands you to to pray, but He forbids you to worry." And experiencing anxiety and worrying is all I've been doing all day. Oh Jesus, how did you sleep on a pillow in a tempest? How? Lord, grant me peace. And yet,

"How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers! 18 Pray that this will not take place in winter, because those will be days of distress unequaled from the beginning, when God created the world, until now—and never to be equaled again." (Mark 13:17-19). 

A friend gave me a few morsels of solace in that if one has been faithful to the First Friday and First Saturday devotions, he should not worry. I have to hope and pray that God will give us the grace to endure whatever it is one is called to endure for those who remain faithful to Him. “If the Lord had not cut short those days, no one would survive. But for the sake of the elect, whom he has chosen, he has shortened them....People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken." (Mark 13:20; Luke 21:26).

Even if this isn't the end (and it may very well not be), our Lord admonishes us to read the signs of the times. 

Lord, I trust that you are working. I know we are deserving of the chastisement you send us, because we have forgotten you. We pray for the people of Ukraine suffering at the hands of unlawful oppressors, but also for the world that is under your dominion and judgement. Lord, do not let us perish! And if you are to wipe us away from your sight, give us grace to endure the lashes and not deny you while writhing upon our crosses. Lord save your people, and bless your inheritance.  

Amen.

My Son Where Have You Gone

Whenever I have reflected on the parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15, my focus has been on the younger son. We are presented with two sons, of course, but my life experience has always tracked with the prodigal; the elder son became a kind of peripheral character. 

But there is a third figure in this story, and that is the father himself. For the past decade my kids have been little, so our lives revolved around diapers, tantrums, and keeping them from whacking their heads. I was a father, sure, but in that initial stage of fatherhood. 

Now that my son is ten going on eighteen, I'm beginning to wrestle with different issues now--the difficulty in relating to him, connecting with him, navigating the moodiness and sometimes disrespect, and sensing a growing distance between us that I struggle to address. I don't think it's anything out of the ordinary for a parent, but it still weighs on me. I'm proud of him in so many ways--he is an accomplished thespian and serves at Mass, among other things--and feel I tell him that I love him and am proud of him often. But suddenly, that archetype of being a runaway son has shifted and I am now sitting in the father's seat bracing for the day my son wishes I was dead already and slams the front door behind him on his way out.

In our circle of orthodox, solid, Catholic homeschooling families I think there can be this temptation that our children are a reflection of us as parents that gets held up in the community. If our kids are "good," we're doing something right--teaching, catechizing, and raising them well, a badge of honor. If one of our kids go off the rails, there's not only the pain of estrangement and feeling helpless, but the shame of what it looks like to those in our circles. 

I think this is a projected fear--of being judged or whispered about--that is overstated. Most of the inner shame of our failings as parents is seen in scarlet through our own eyes, and the regret can be bitter, "If only I had spent more time with him. If only I had been more intentional about catechizing her. If only I hadn't yelled so much, lost my temper so easily. If only I had been a better dad." 

I have a buddy who I get beers with every now and again; I can tell when he needs some encouragement because he feels the weight of his four boys trying behavior and the self-imposed feeling that it reflects poorly on him as a father, that he's doing something wrong. When he loses his patience with them, is forced to discipline them out of love and concern, when he's told them to do something a hundred times and they just don't listen, he says "this is how God must feel with me." 

A friend told me a story of someone he knew back in the UK who had gone to Thailand on a trip as a twenty-something and got into drugs; he was in all aspects, a true prodigal living dissolute among the swine. His father had no idea where he was, but his care and concern prompted him to fly halfway around the world to set off and find him. He carried his picture around the streets of Bangkok, asking people if they had seen him, until one opportune moment led him to a drug den where lo and behold, his filthy, sick, strung out son was. He gathered him up, and took him home.

You don't know the love and sacrifice you are capable of until you become a parent, the fruit of your vocation. 

For the father in the Lord's parable, his nobility and tender character would seem to lend itself to the belief that his legacy was good stock. He gave his sons everything, was a good father to them, and still one goes off the rails and the other seethes in resentment. What went wrong? How bitter the recollection of the prophet Isaias' words in his mind, “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.” (54:13) How the townsfolk must have talked when he went into the village. 

None of that matters, of course, to the father. He searches the horizon day after day, and is willing to gird his loins and run in such an undignified manner to meet his returning son when he sees him in the distance--the son who had no regard for his dignity or respect for his authority--embracing him and showering him with the great good of his household. He had every right to turn from him and disown him, as the son recognizes in his rehearsed speech, "Treat me as one of your hired hands." (Lk 15:19). 

The father was not a tyrant-turned-empath. His character was one of compassion, devotion, and paternal love from the beginning. It would seem that one could not blame the father for "failures" of parenting that drove his son away. The father did everything in his power, and still his heritage turned against him and made him the object of murmur within the community. The parable is as much a story of the exercise of free-will as it is of fervent love, longing, and forgiveness. 

As fathers and mothers, we all have a heightened sensitivity to our parental failures. We also are subject to the temptation to comparison: "So-and-so has such good kids. They're all doing so well. And look at us." 

Part of the added temptation of traditional Catholicism, I think, is "if one simply does X, Y results." Because the liturgy is constant and unchanging, and the rubrics a protection against abuse, I suspect that there may be a tendency to internalize this and apply it to our children. "If we attend the Latin Mass every Sunday, if we don't fraternize with pagans, if we homeschool, etc., our children will not turn away." And for some, that may be the case. 

And yet when I reflect on the good father in the parable, he seemed to have done everything right, and his son(s) still strayed...and not only in slight, but in complete dissolution. Is the father the one to blame for the sons indiscretions? Did he spare the rod and pay the price for this dereliction of duty? Was he emotionally distant? Too protective? Not protective enough?

Or is it simply the exercise of that awesome and fearful gift of freewill that God entrusts each of us? That gift that we can use against Him, just as our children may use against us one day despite our best efforts to keep them on the straight and narrow? It's uncomfortable to think that our control as parents is in many ways, illusionary. We set boundaries, we do our best without a Missal for Parents, and still sometimes the rubrics aren't enough and our children stray for whatever reason. I would ratchet it as one of life's great and tragic mysteries that can even lead some parents to the brink of despair. Parenting is not an "A+B=C" affair. There are a lot of unaccounted for variables.

My darkest nights as a parent are when everything seems to be drifting, and I don't know how to reign it back to the way it was. I experience a loss of control and am driving in the dark with no headlights. I miss my son; I don't want to lose him. In these times, my faith in the paternal love of God is all I have.

Our lives as Christians are founded on the hope of resurrection and ultimate redemption. We know no son or daughter is beyond God's mercy and saving grace, no matter how lost or fargone. As parents, it is our job to never lose that hope, to always be scanning the horizon in prayerful anticipation of that homecoming, to run out and embrace when they are still a long way off, and relish the miraculous joy of the dead coming back to life.   

The Tender Favor of Indulgences

In the summer of 2017, during the centennial anniversary of Our Lady of Fatima, we made a local pilgrimage as a family for the purpose of obtaining a plenary indulgence for my mother-in-law who had passed away the year prior. Being intentional about this spiritual work of mercy (praying for the dead) was relatively new for us and so when we heard that we could obtain the remission of temporal punishment due to sin for one being purified in purgatory by way of indulgence (Latin: indulgentia, to be kind or tender), we did so for the benefit of my mother-in-law.

When my father-in-law passed away last month, I started digging around in the treasure chest of gifts the Church provides for the faithful to assist us as we "work out our salvation in fear and trembling" (Phil 2:12). What I discovered was that the gaining of a plenary indulgence wasn't just reserved for special jubilee years, but that they were available to the faithful year round through a variety of means. 

Think about it for a moment. Christ through his Holy Church gives us so many gifts already. He washes away the pernicious stain of Original Sin with the waters of Baptism, something we could never under our own power do ourselves, and strengthens our witness in Confirmation. He gives us the gift of his body and blood in the Holy Eucharist so that we might never go spiritually hungry. He gives us the grace and solace of undeniable forgiveness through his ministers in the Sacrament of Confession, and when it is not available to us in emergencies He grants absolution by way of Perfect Contrition. He gives the sick and those in danger of death the Sacrament of Anointing and Extreme Unction. He sanctifies our vocations, whether that is in Holy Orders or Holy Matrimony. 

Beyond the seven sacraments, He also gives us divine Revelation in the Holy Scriptures that is accessible to anyone so that we might know his Divine character. We have the lives of the saints to show us the way of those who have gone before us in holiness. He provides us with additional grace by way of sacramentals such as the scapular, holy water and blessed salt, the Miraculous Medal, and various other "weapons in our arsenal" for spiritual battle.  

As if that weren't enough, belief in indulgences and Her authority to grant them is an infallible teaching of the Church. We can have full confidence that God WANTS TO SAVE US and gives us every possible grace so that we might be with him in Paradise, including the remission of temporal punishment due to sin for the indulged, whether it be for ourselves or for a deceased member of the Church Suffering. This is a supreme gift, which Christ through His Church has the authority to grant us and chooses to do so for our benefit and the benefit of those we love.

What I found when doing a little research was that the gaining of indulgences, whether plenary or partial, can be an everyday act of charity, not just a once a year thing. 

How so? Well for one thing, one can obtain a plenary indulgence--that is, the complete remission of temporal punishment due to sin, for ourselves or one who has died and is in Purgatory--by the following:

-reading or listening to Holy Scripture for half an hour;

-praying before the Blessed Sacrament for half an hour;

-making the Stations of the Cross in an approved manner;

-reciting the rosary alone in a church, or communally with others outside of a church.

These are not onerous tasks! Besides being edifying for our own spiritual lives, they give us the opportunity to cooperate with grace to be a tender favor for the dead being purified, especially those with no one to pray for them. Take advantage of them!

Of course it goes without saying that the usual conditions for an indulgence apply: being in a state of grace, receiving Holy Communion (1 per indulgence), sacramental Confession (which can satisfy several indulgences), prayers for the Holy Father (an Our Father and Hail Mary suffice), and the detachment from all sin, including venial sin.

How many lost opportunities to pray for the dead and obtain favor them we let pass through our fingers!  But we can remedy that by being intentional in our spiritual charity, especially as we move into the penitential season. 

Why not obtain a Old Testament and New Testament on disk, or mp3, and listen on the way to work? I have a thirty minute commute, so this is what I do. Then after work, I go to Mass, pray for the pope, receive communion, and make an act of the will to be detached from sin. The next day, lead your family in the rosary at home. Go to Adoration for half an hour a few times a week. Go to Confession regularly as needed (for me it is once a month or so on average). In doing so, you can literally help free a soul completely from their torment and see them welcomed into happy repose every day. 

You may run out of deceased relatives or loved ones to pray and obtain indulgences for if you do this every day. No matter. Continue to fulfill the conditions and offer them to Mary to dispense the graces to whomever she chooses; she probably knows better than you do who needs them. And it is ok to obtain them for yourself as well (remember, an indulgence can only be applied to a deceased or oneself, not another living person)

You may get hung up on the needing to be completely detached from sin, even venial sin. Remember, such intentions rests in the will, not the emotions. We can express this desire of the will in a heartfelt recitation of an Act of Contrition. Of course, one must be in a state of grace, but God does not command the impossible. Remember how much grace he pours out on us because he wants us to take advantage of those graces. He wants men to be saved.  

One final word--strangely, it can sometimes be difficult to trust that God (and by extension, Holy Church) would offer such mercy to sinners; surely we must do more. It is not easy to become a saint--if it was, we would have many more! Although it is not easy, it is not complicated. The way of the Little Flower is an example of "taking the elevator" to Heaven by way of complete trust in God as Father. And so, when we fulfill the conditions and trust in charity that God will apply it to a soul in need, we should not second guess "that was too easy, it should be harder, maybe it didn't work," etc., nor should we second-guess this infallible teaching of Holy Church. Though the abuses of indulgences was right to be criticized, Martin Luther truly threw the baby out with the bathwater when he broke from Christ's One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church.

Remember: God truly desires that all men be saved (1 Tim 2:4). He does not command the impossible, but gives us the grace necessary to carry out our duties (Jas 4:6). Praying for the dead is a spiritual work of mercy (2 Macc 12:39-46). We here on earth have the luxury of time. It is not forever, but what we do have should be spent to prepare ourselves and aid those being purified who have gone before us. 

This supreme act of charity God will not fail to repay.  

Nobody Cares About Your Book

 

For years people have been telling me "you have to write a book." I have wanted to believe them. Though I may not have the aptitude, I do have the time. I've got some ideas. But something in me (Laziness? Lack of motivation? Knowing too much?) just doesn't feel called to invest it that way. 

I like to write. I love my faith. But I thank my sweet Jesus every day neither are associated with me earning my daily bread. I don't know of any other industry (publishing) in which one invests so much in order to gain so little. Maybe that's why I still write every few days and still have faith.

I know many people who churn out books because their families or career depend on it. They may have the discipline or aptitude for it. Maybe it is easier once you have a few titles under your belt to gain notoriety and increase sales. I don't know. I think the average advance for the average author is something like $5k...and that's an advance, not net. The average U.S. nonfiction book is now selling less than 250 copies per year and less than 3,000 copies over it's lifetime. 

So why should you write a book? I don't know, really. Do people even buy and read books anymore? I'm sure some do, maybe the same percentage of the general population numbers-wise who pay for a New York Times subscription. "If one writes a book in the forest and there's no one to read it, does it really exist?" Any joe can write a book today and send it out via self-publishing to the universe. With this comes distillation and saturation. 

Much like the 401k has replaced the traditional pension and shifted the risk from employer to employee, publishers have shifted much of the promotion responsibilities to the authors. So not only do you get the privilege of writing a book for what averages out to be $12/hr, you get to promote it to all the people you know (friends and family?) in MLM-type fashion.  

But what if the world "really needs your message?" Can't I do that on a blog? A website? A Substack newsletter? An email listserv?  Isn't that what I do here (and what I subsequently look forward to doing, offering free of charge, because I have no ulterior motive for doing so?)

But being a published author is "so cool." Really? Most of those I know who have published and built it up as a supreme moment of validation from the outside world secretly know the post-publication letdown and depression is real. You spent months and possibly years formulating, editing, honing...time away from your family, all the joy being sucked dry from the project to be met with the polar opposite of critical acclaim or affirmation: indifference. 

Artists already know this: people don't want to pay for the the cow when they can get the milk for free. Prostitutes know this too, which is why they charge for pleasure and don't just give it away! We live in a world of unbridled content consumption. We are consumers in the appetite sense, not just the market sense. We gorge on podcasts and online articles, social media feeds, and videos. The result? There are no masterpieces anymore. No symphonies. No life-changing novels. We merely consume to distract, gleaning and extracting maybe 5% on average of useful content from any one medium, rinse and repeat. 

I don't even mind pumping out blog posts once a week to feed those who consume content, because I do the same dang thing! No judgment, and happy to be of service. I just don't take myself or my blog too seriously is all. I'm truthful and sincere, but my investment in the work is admittedly small. 

But a book is kind of serious, a commitment. The ISBN is a kind of literary tattoo attached to your name for life. Once you sell your song, your art, your writing in exchange for the feeling that you've 'made it' as somehow legit, you don't own it anymore. It's not yours to do what you want with anymore. There's a price attached to that, whether you admit it or not. Some people may relish in that. 

For me, I don't know where the hesitancy comes from. I'm secure enough that I don't seek or need validation. Nothing I have to say is focused, coherent, or important enough to warrant the investment a book requires. I have no illusions about any glamour attached to being an author; it's akin to "being your own boss" and anyone who is their own boss knows there are some upsides...and a legion of liabilities. 

 Mostly, though, I think times have changed. The industry (publishing) is hanging on life support. Razor thin margins. Oversaturation. Lots of risk with minimal returns. People's attention spans have dropped off; the thought of reading War and Peace today is almost unthinkable, though twenty years ago I would have looked forward to it. 

If you've written a book, good on you. This isn't a judgement post, and we all have different reasons and motivations for the endeavors we invest in. I don't think I have it in me, for the reasons outlined above, though I'm happy to keep blogging and being a largely unknown JV observer and recorder of life as I see it.  

Why Do People Go To The Bar When You Can Drink At Home?

 A couple nights ago I went to a talk at the local campus Oratory and convinced some friends to go too. It was a talk on faith and reason, and was academic in nature. It went over my head a little, but I still had a great time and felt like I got my intellectual culture for the month. There was also a reception afterwards where we could drink, eat, and talk. 

When I told a friend about the talk, he said, "Or you could just read the source material" and sent me a link to the encyclical by St. Pope John Paul II. Well, sure, I thought. "But then I wouldn't get to see and speak with other people...which is my favorite past time." I responded. 

I used to go to the bars a lot in college and my twenties. I was more introverted then, so it wasn't always easy to muster up the resolve to go out. And if it was really about drinking, I could save 75% of what I was spending at the bar by picking up a six pack and drinking in my apartment. 

But going to the bar (or out to eat, or a lecture you could zoom into) isn't really about the beer, or the food, or the content of the talk. It's about doing these things amongst other humans and feeding the social appetite. It's important, and fills something in us that hungers for this.

Even Mass fills this need. Of course our first priority is to worship God. But there is a communal element, which is why we don't worship isolated at home on the Sabbath, and why spiritual communions should be an exception, not a norm. We are not hermits; we are a collective as Catholics. 

I was in the office yesterday and the dynamics of our workplace have irrevocably changed since COVID. Whereas we would be in 5 days a week, a dozen or so of us at one time, now I am in 3 days a week and there is maybe 3 or us there at a time. A third of our staff have gone fully remote, and the rest are 40% remote. We are "working alone" in many ways a man "drinks alone." "Why go the bar and spend $6 a bottle when I can pick up a case for $30? It's more efficient anyway." I was literally in a building all day yesterday with one other person. We're doing the work as a team...we're just not doing it together, physically.

This should be the subject of sociological studies for years to come. Personally, I go out of my way now to seek out social activities, and host them, as a matter of intentionality, so those muscles don't atrophy. There's something inefficient, local, less streamlined and messy about in-person interaction. But there's something vital about it too, which I think we have been missing in a post-COVID world, something we don't even realize we need until you haven't had it in a while. 

Life isn't always meant to be 'optimized,' 'safe,' and 'more efficient.' There's value too in the messy in-person, the social space, the reading of body language and the engaging of the senses. 

So go to the bar with some friends. Host a gathering. Attend a lecture in person. Go out to eat. For Pete's sake...live life in real time and real space. Otherwise you might lose that social muscle memory that makes us human at our core. 

The Lure of the SSPX, And Why It's Off The Table For Us

A few years ago I was coming home from a work event in Jersey when I passed by a random shrine dedicated to St. Padre Pio. I love the good Saint Pio, so of course I stopped, prayed for a while, and wandered into the small, dimly lit gift shop afterwards.  I perused and bought a scapular, I think, and a small pamphlet on St Pio. 

When I arrived home and started reading it, it reminded me of the 'zines we used to make in the 90's in high school: black and white, old-school and kind of edgy and mysterious. I wondered where this pamphlet was produced, and in the inside it was attributed to a Br. Michael Diamond, Most Holy Family Monastery, Fillmore, NY.  

It seemed legit, but gave me a weird vibe; I learned through a quick google search why: MHFM is a sedevacantist Catholic organization. I would make reference to some of the things written in the pamphlet if I could, but I had enough sense to throw it away rather than leave it to be discovered later by an unwitting curiosity seeker. 

Sedevacantism is toxic for one's spiritual health. But what of the Society of St. Pius X (SSPX) and their traditional, reverent liturgies, their solid priests, and their missionary zeal? They are 100% Catholic, and especially after the lockdowns two years ago, many people discovered the Society who stayed open and didn't cower. They seem to have fortified many faithful Catholics during that period of "wandering through the desert." Plus, we have a SSPX chapel ten minutes from our home, and I know people and have friends who attend there. If the implementation of Traditionis Custodis starts to take effect at the diocesan level, and the SSPX is waiting there with open arms, why would we turn our backs on the good fortune of having a reverent traditional liturgy in our backyard?

Of course, the Society's canonical status is not easy to grasp for new Catholics and those nor familiar with their history. Are they Catholic? Yes. Are they in an irregular canonical status? Yes. Are their sacraments valid? For 6 out of 7, yes. What about the one that isn't?

Pope Francis extended faculties for SSPX priests to hear confessions in 2016 during the Jubilee Year of Mercy, and then extended those faculties for an indeterminate amount of time as it seems to stand now. So until he pulls back on that, my understanding is the validity of those confessions is not in question. 

Were we in a bind, traveling, and the SSPX was there and available on a Sunday, I probably wouldn't hesitate to assist at one of their Masses. 

Here's my hesitation (one among a few) with the SSPX as a permanent home, and with my role as the spiritual head of my family (the bishop, as it were, of my domestic church): were we to assist every Sunday, lay roots in the community, and raise up our children in it, one issue in particular is the admission that my children couldn't get married in an SSPX chapel and have a Catholic marriage. 

 Why? Matrimony as a sacrament depends on canonical form, which in turn depends on supplied jurisdiction as I understand it. 

Cathy Caridi, J.C.L, at Canon Law Made Easy makes the case,

 "Consequently, if a Catholic marries in a ceremony conducted by an SSPX priest, the marriage is invalid, for lack of canonical form. The SSPX priest is presumably a validly ordained cleric; but for the validity of a Catholic marriage, ordination is not sufficient."

"The fact is, Ecclesia supplet does not validate any marriages celebrated by SSPX clergy, period. This is because the marriages aren't being celebrated in the parish church by a properly delegated cleric--so they are invalid for lack of canonical form. Marriage tribunals rarely encounter such clear-cut invalidity as this.

Lack of canonical form was what prompted me to bring up the issue with my Catholic father, and to assist him in seeking healing and righting of his marriage. (See Healing a Marriage 'In The Root': What Is A 'Radical Sanation?') 

This "valid but illicit" issue would be enough to give me pause of attending the Society chapels as anything but a one-off situation. This isn't even to speak of the grainier "chapel climate" of unspoken dissent and Jansenist tendencies that I'm not sure I want to raise my kids up in, personally. Rigor and reverence is laudable, but my fear is that when push comes to shove, the issue becomes one of ideology. This is not to disparage or speak ill of the character of either the Society priests (though, admittedly, I have little exposure to personally) or the laity who assist at Masses (a few of whom I count as friends), their faith or their devotion to Christ. Just that, as spiritual head of my household, I have hesitations about going down that path. 

I still remember a few years ago when I was new to the Traditional Latin Mass going to our local parish for a First Friday TLM. We couldn't get a priest to the offer the Latin Mass, so for whatever reason a local priest offered the Novus Ordo instead. I remember being confused while many parishioners walked out when it became apparent it was the Novus Ordo being offered. I stayed, but that always made an impression on me. I don't judge or fault them. It just made me wonder: are these the things of faith, or is that faith being intermingled with ideology where one would take such an action (of essential boycott)?

Every traditional Catholic is going to have to make these kinds of choices though. If all you have is the N.O., will you refuse to attend it? Will you go SSPX? Byzantine? Ordinariate? Orthodox? Spiritual Communions at home? Not all of those choices are equal, and there is a precariousness in those decisions that can set the course of trajectory for one's family. 

I met a good, solid Catholic guy my age when I was in St. Louis who was raised up in the SSPX and now is a charitable, solid Catholic who attends the Novus Ordo (with a beautiful family I might add). Of course it's one anecdotal example, and I never pressed him on why he made that switch at one point in his adult life. But I wonder if the "Tradition is security" for our children is perhaps overstated. 

The SSPX holds a real allure for me on the surface, but it's very hard to ignore those reservations I have as well that I'm not astute enough to articulate. Like the Padre Pio sedevacantist pamphlet, there's just something internally that won't let me "go there." Personally, I haven't worked it all out yet in a 'worst case' scenario. I pray for the guidance of the Holy Spirit at those times, to lead me deftly through the liturgical mine field and not astray.  

The Art of Communication

I was getting down on myself the other day for not succeeding in life, at least in terms of career. Now, granted, I don't think this is a fair assessment, as I feel very fortunate to have a loving wife, a great family, good friends, and a supportive community. In many ways, I feel like a rich man. 

But comparison is a trap, and I don't even think it's fair that I was feeling inferior in terms of career status--there are lots of guys who do much better than me, and I'm sure some that are about the same level or struggling. In many ways, my career suits me because it plays to my strengths, none of which include anything to do with IQ and analytical abilities. Most of my "skillset" is soft, that is, soft skills like "effective communication" and "being a team player." I don't have much of an IQ (intelligence quotient) to speak of, but I do pride myself as perhaps having a higher EQ (emotional quotient) than many. That is, until I realized that high EQ doesn't really lend itself to succeeding "in the world" after coming across a compelling case against the overstated value of emotional intelligence in Inc from a Redditor in a AMA (Ask Me Anything) subreddit responding to a question posed on this topic:

"This is an interesting concept, but I gotta be honest," began the Redditor. "I'm an [expletive], and that's helped me more in my career than caring about people's emotions or anything like that.

In my industry, I focus on the work (really stressful medical clinical trials) and doing the best I can. Becoming an expert in my field is what matters to anyone I work with, because I can help companies save millions of dollars. I quit jobs if I'm not paid enough, negotiate for salaries more than twice as high as the industry average, and leave jobs if I get a better offer somewhere else. I'm great to work with, if I'm paid enough. After I leave a company, I often get a higher offer to come back.

I guess my question is, why should I care about "emotional intelligence"? How will it be a better usage of my time than just continuing to be an expert and outsmarting/outwitting my peers?"

He makes some salient points. Is emotional intelligence, then, a liability or an asset? Does it depend on the environment one works in? If I was in court, I would want my lawyer to be a bulldog in representing me.   

A few weeks ago I came across an "expose" by Church Militant on the Wyoming Carmelites (aka, the "Mystic Monk Coffee" monks) and alleged abuses. It came across as a real hit piece. I rarely listen to CM and though I suppose they fill a function in Church media, I consider their journalism sloppy. Michael Voris is a bulldog, much like Bill Donahue (of the Catholic League) who goes after those who they want to spotlight and doesn't back down. I had a friend who was interviewed by Church Militant for something, and they completely misquoted and took her words out of context. Of course many news outlets are guilty of this, but I still find it off-putting. They often have a kind of pre-scripted agenda that they contort the content to fit. Again, this is true of most media outlets. 

That's why I find the emergence of the Joe Rogan Experience so interesting, and refreshing. Rogan is not a journalist. He's neither a scientist nor a medical professional, not a theologian nor an academic. He's also not a provocateur. His career includes stints in standup comedy, narrating UFC fights, and hosting Fear Factor.  

And yet, he has an incredible talent for attracting and engaging an incredibly diverse palate of guests (too many to list) on his podcast. I would wager that Rogan has an especially high emotional quotient, defined as "ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict." 

He's also comes across as patriotic and an ordinary guy while being authentic, empathetic, attentive, cool, and incredibly curious yet measured in his thought process. He doesn't appear to prejudge especially harshly, and gives a platform to his guests while enjoying the freedom of not having to interject his own thoughts or steer the conversation towards a pre-determined narrative. This looks seamless and easy on camera, but I believe it takes a good amount of skill and deftness. He listens well and is interested in what is being discussed, which can not be said of most people (who are simply waiting for their turn to talk). He's not afraid to take things further into uncomfortable territory, and yet he seems like the opposite of a Michael Voris-type: self-confident, open to new ideas, and respectfully attentive. 

I think what attracts a lot of people to his podcast is that it invites you into these intimate, stimulating conversations with these varied high profile guests that span the socio-political spectrum. It's not combative or stressful, but interesting and engaging without a real agenda. He can ground even the most esoteric guest. It gives the opportunity for curious people to be exposed to a different set of beliefs they may not have had otherwise. Whether that narrative is accurate or right may not be settled. 

Yes, his language is coarse and sometimes vulgar. Yes, he sometimes smokes weed on the show with his guests. If you can look past those things, it can be a fascinating watch to see how an ordinary joe (pun intended) has mastered the art of communication and respectfully engages, actively listens, withholds judgment, and is genuinely curious about things he may not understand (but desires to). It also gives me hope that even though I don't have much of an IQ or any marketable skills in the workforce, maybe my EQ and everything that comes with it isn't a total waste after all. 

In some ways, Rogan is like a Pilate, asking in his secular oratory of sorts "What Is Truth?" and being willing to interview anyone without exception if they have something to contribute to get to the heart of that question. I don't get the feeling he is willing to follow the Truth wherever it leads, is open to it, or that he even believes in objective truth. But he's willing to listen and guide the questions. There's something to that. It feels like it's a glimmer of hope that maybe we can someday as a country get back to a restoration of mutual respect and intellectual curiosity among those who have something to offer to the conversation.   

Related:

Radical Authenticity

Why People Are Drawn to Authenticity    

What Happened When I Put My Phone Down, Took a Deep Breath, and Started A Conversation With A Total Stranger