"If I Die, I Die": The Illusion of Safety

I have always been fascinated by the church in China. But many Americans may not be aware of the unique circumstances of Christianity under the CCP. For one, there are over 57,000 state-sponsored churches in China as part of the "Three Self Patriotic Movement" (TSPM). These are essentially Communist-controlled puppet churches, counterfeits that hold the State above the Kingdom of God. Meanwhile, those who refuse to submit to the CCP and live out the true faith are ruthlessly monitored, interrogated, tortured and jailed. The former are considered "safe" churches; the latter, undoubtedly "unsafe."

Here in America, we are familiar with the slogan "Be safe." It was the mantra of our government during the COVID era, when safety became our golden calf. It can be argued there was a degree of prudence and uncertainty among the citizenry and local authorities early on when we weren't sure what way this was going to go; I'm not here to judge that or play Monday morning quarterback.  

A few years ago I read the book The Heavenly Man about evangelist Brother Yun witnessing to the Gospel in Communist China. It was one of the most inspiring books I have ever read, and his unwavering faith in Christ and the power of the Gospel is truly remarkable. It shouldn't be, for he is simply a believing Christian who lives out his belief (and is willing to be jailed, beaten, and tortured for it) as we all should. And that belief wields power--the power of the Gospel and the miracles promised to those who believe.

In trying to learn more about the plight of underground Christians in China during that time, I came across a sermon online by another inspiring witness to Christ, Pastor Wang Yi. Pastor Yi was sentenced to nine years in prison for "inciting subversion of state power." Unlike the church in America, which is able to pontificate about intellectual, theological, and abstract concepts, the Church in China is afforded no such luxury. What they are concerned with is, for one, the practicalities of how to take a beating for the faith.

What I found so powerful about this literal believer in Christ was how he inverted this idea of "safety" in one of his sermons (How I Approach Police Interrogations 面对询问时我会怎么做), which I have transcribed below. As you will see, he is less concerned about his physical or worldly safety, and more concerned with what he calls his "spiritual safety":

"I once told a few brothers and sisters that in my early Christian years, every time I entered the police station I was afraid. But I said I learned something that I wanted to share with them. I want to share it with you all, too. I don't know whether or not you'll find it helpful.

Do you know what I've learned? When I'm being interrogated at the police station, I put myself in a spiritually safe situation. 

What do I mean by a spiritually safe situation? I mean I put myself in a physically unsafe situation. This sounds kind of abstract. What I mean is that when I'm in the police station, for the sake of safety, I say everything upfront. I immediately arrive at the point of no retreat. Unless you beat me, unless you arrest me, we have nothing more to talk about.

If I discuss things with them little by little, if I prolonged our conversation, I will be influenced by them. I will feel spiritually unsafe. They will get to my head through some roundabout ways. Then my spirit will weaken, and many of their words and actions will affect me. I don't want to be in this kind of spiritual danger. So in the very beginning, I clearly and directly address the point of conflict in the starkest possible terms so that there is nothing more to discuss. Then there are no more questions left for them to ask me. All they can do is beat me or arrest me. 

I say to them very clearly, 'If I'm arrested today, I'm prepared to stay here. Unless you want to charge me with a crime and arrest me, I have nothing more to say. I don't dispute the Communist Party's rule over this country. But Communism is evil. This is what I believe. 'Do what you want to me.' 

As soon as I say this, there is no turning back. I've discovered that this puts you in more physical danger. But it also comes with a great benefit: it increases your spiritual safety. So this is what I do every time. When I do this, I know that I'm spiritually safe.

Jesus also did this. Jesus often, through one word, forced all of Israel, all of the Sanhedrin, all of the Pharisees into a position where they had to kill him. Either they had to believe in him or they had to kill him. As C.S. Lewis said, you must either fall at his feet and call him Lord, or you must kill him. Because there is no middle ground, no safe zone.

So let me encourage you all, brothers and sisters: When you are facing persecution, when you are facing pressure because of your faith, don't give yourself too much wiggle room. Articulate the most controversial point as early as possible, and then, with Esther, say, 'If I die, I die.' It is often those who say, 'If I die, I die," who live in the end."

As Christians who are comfortable waxing about liturgical nuances online or ranting about the vax or extolling the lofty ideals of Thomistic philosophy or complaining about this or that, I think it's important to be brought down to earth from time to time by witnesses such as Pastor Yi and countless other Christians outside the U.S. who are not afforded the "safety" of freedom of religion and freedom of speech, but who nevertheless count the cost and take their beatings singing in a gospel simplicity that, quite simply, should put our faith to shame. Theirs is not a theoretical but a fundamental faith...not an abstract cost, but a real and painful one. But it is not in vain, either. For Christ truly promises life to those willing to lose it...and these Christians are indeed willing. 

When we hold on so tightly to the illusion of safety--especially when it comes to staying safe in our faith--it's like dousing the charcoal with lighter fluid and never striking a match. And persecution for these Christians is the flint that ignites their faith; a deep faith that becomes immovable, unshakable, even against Goliaths like the CCP. These are the men and women, brothers and sisters, we should be seeking to emulate. To say with them in deed, spirit, and solidarity, and without theological embellishment, "If I die, I die." For it is those who profess and embrace that death in paradox who truly do live in the end.

An Insight Into Why People Hate Traditional Catholics

 Every now and then I like to leave the bubble and get some air with a brisk walk to the other side of the fence. It may involve reading an article at the Huffington Post, interacting with a secular neighbor, or watching a clip at CNN. Why? Perspective. I realize that the way we think and act as homeschooling, Latin-Mass attending, all-in Catholics is a very thin slice of the cultural pie, and it doesn't hurt to keep tabs on how people think and act outside of our circle. 

A book I'm reading right now is The Christians As The Romans Saw Them by Robert L. Wilken. We take for granted the fact that Christendom colors everything since we are now more than two thousand years after the birth of Christ, and Christianity is one of the predominant religions in the world. But in the first century AD, it was still more or less an esoteric cult operating in a traditionally established culture (in this case, the Roman Empire). Dr. Wilken attempts to portray pagan criticism of Christianity from those pagan sources directly. "I am convinced that the perceptions of outsiders tell us something significant about the character of the Christian movement,” he writes, “and that without the views of those who made up the world in which Christianity grew to maturity, we will never understand what Christianity was or is."

From the writings in the first chapter of Pliny, a young middle-management Roman bureaucrat and provincial governor, we see that many Romans in the first and second century with an outsider's view of Christianity regarded their own handed down worship (paganism) the "traditional (civil) religion," and regarded Christanity as a "foreign cult of superstition." 

According to Plutarch, the superstitious person does not use his intelligence in thinking about the gods, but instead creates fearful images and horrible apparitions that lead to bizarre and extreme behavior (61). For pious Romans of the day, to be "religious" or "religiously conservative" (as they considered themselves to be) was to be respectable and decent...accepting practices handed down by tradition. Christianity was none of these things, at least during these early centuries. 

Pliny carried out his civic duty as governor of Bithynia-Pontus--that is, of keeping order in his jurisdiction--with a mind towards fairness and appropriate justice. Often, this resulted in execution of Christians for simply being Christians. "Whatever the nature of their admission, I am convinced that their stubborness and unshakable obstinacy (contumacia) ought not to go unpunished" (23). Contempt and defiance of a magistrate was sufficient grounds for punishment.

Already, we see the character of some of the early Christians from these outside sources emerging. They were a "problem," a kind of new infection in traditional Roman society that officials felt were a threat to the existing (conservative) social order and had to be "dealt with." The "self-righteousness and arrogance" of the martyrs offended them. 

As modern Christians today we tend to view sympathetically the martyrs and followers of Christ in those early centuries...heroes in a way. From the Romans' perspective, however, Christians were not scapegoats of Nero but were legitimately punished because of their "hatred of the human race...their aloofness and disdain for the ways of others" (Celsus). The Christians "wall themselves off and break away from the rest of mankind" (Cels 8.2), and the words of their leader (Jesus) are seditious, since this factionalism is an apostasy from Judaism, as they saw it.

"Celsus is speaking about a revolt against the institutions of the Greco-Roman world, against the customs and traditions in the cities, against the wisdom which had been handed down for generations by wise men of old. Christians had contempt for these ancient and hallowed ways" (118)

It is in this context that I would like to speculate about why not only the world and the culture at large, but many invested in the post-conciliar Church, have such disdain for Traditionalists. Ironically, we can look at the words of our own Holy Father just a week ago, to surmise the sentiment and charge leveled against Traditional Catholics:

"'Traditionalism' is a form 'of a Pelagian selfishness that puts our own tastes and plans above the love that pleases God, the simple, humble and faithful love that Jesus asked of Peter." [It was the Council (the Second Vatican Council) which] rediscovered the living river of Tradition without remaining mired in traditions" 

Traditionalism--or 'looking backwards'--that longs for a bygone world are not evidence of love, but of infidelity" 

(homily at St. Peter's Basilica on the 60th Anniversary of Vatican II, 10 October, 2022)   

To the establishment Church--that is, the post-conciliar Church in which the last 60 years of novel and heavy ecclesiastical investment has been made--traditionalists are, to use the language of the Holy Father, "unfaithful." To transfer the language of the first century Romans, traditional Catholics are "superstitious," "contemptuous," "stubborn," "obstinate," "factional"...a "problem" that the Holy See feels the need to "deal with." 

Superstitious...because they believe in miracles, in the power of sacramentals, in transubstantiation, in the messages of the Virgin Mary.

Contemptous..because they resist the "Dictatorship of Relativism" (to quote then Cardinal Ratzinger) and teach their children to do the same.

Stubborn and obstinant...because they refuse to apostatize or compromise with sin and hold to the truth faith at great cost, up to and sometimes including torture, imprisonment, and death.

Factional...because they wish to worship the One True God not in anthropocentric novelty, but according to the faith of their tradition that they have been taught (2 Thes 2:15). 

A problem...not because of heterodoxy, but an orthodoxy that is an indictment to the offenders of Truth. Not because they do not believe, but because they do.

The charge of infidelity--to be unfaithful--leveled against traditional Catholics by their holy father is curious. What does it mean to be "unfaithful?" Is it possible to be "unfaithful" to the (post-conciliar) Church while faithful to Christ? Isn't this what Martin Luther sought to do? Are Traditionalists the "new Protestants" while Catholics such as our President and House Speaker represent the "faith of (their) fathers?"

It's all so bizarre, isn’t it? Christians who love the Lord, who want to give him the first fruits of worship, and do not compromise with sin have suddenly become despised for their obstinacy, become objects of contempt, and charged with being too superstitious. Maybe it is because they hold up a mirror, simply by their living and worship, to not only the culture (which is blind to its deformity), but the post-conciliar Church (whose prelates recognize a threat when they see one). For that reason, it should not be surprising that the words of our Lord should come to pass:

"You will be hated by everyone because of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved" (Jn 15:18). For "friendship with the world is enmity with God" (Ja 4:4)

You Are Not A Martyr And Probably Never Will Be

When the Columbine massacre occurred on April, 20th, 1999, I had only been a Catholic for a few months. I was still getting tuned in to the Christian world, so I may not have picked up right away on the "martyr-story" of student Cassie Bernall. The teenage was reportedly asked by the gunman at point blank range "Do you believe in God?" to which she responded in the affirmative. And he shot her dead. 

Apparently, much like the Matthew Shepard gay-martyr narrative, things didn't happen this way, though. Bernall's classmate, Valeen Schnurr, was the one who was asked this question and though she was shot, she survived. The stories got conflated, but the Bernall "She Said Yes" narrative persisted. Reverend Dave McPherson, Youth Pastor at Cassie's congregation at West Bowles Community Church, told Hanna, “You will never change the story of Cassie.... The church is going to stick to the martyr story. You can say it didn’t happen that way, but the church won’t accept it.” The narrative spurned a wave of "I will die for Jesus" sentiment among zealous Evangelical teenagers, akin to the Promise Ring trend in the 1990's. 

One thing among many that I appreciate about the Church is the objective criteria She uses to determine things--that is, what makes a valid/natural/sacramental marriage, the canonization process of a would-be saint, what constitutes a miracle, the authenticity of a vision, what constitutes the conditions for a sin to be mortal, and, in this case, what makes a martyr.

Dominican Fr Benedict Ashley writes:

"True martyrdom requires three conditions: (1) that the victim actually die, (2) that he or she dies in witness of faith in Christ which is directly expressed in words, or implicitly in acts done or sins refused because of faith, and (3) that the victim accepts death voluntarily. They are not martyrs who do not actually die, or die from disease, for the sake of merely natural truths, or heresy, or for their country in war, or through suicide, etc.

'Martyr' is often used loosely of anyone who dies for the sake of any cause. But the Christian cause is in fact objectively true, and not a subjective illusion, as are many of the causes for which persons die sincerely but deludedly. Thus those who die for the sake of fanatical religious cults, or as terrorists, or for their own glory, however sincere, are not genuine martyrs, but are objectively suicides. Nor are those who die for a noble but merely human motive, as the parent who dies to save a child, or a soldier for his country, since such virtuous acts can pertain simply to the order of natural virtue."

If my pious friends are anything like me, they may occasionally daydream of meeting the Lord and being greeted by the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." This life is not worth much to me, and so I look forward to the day when I can offer it to the Lord--but only in the way He calls it from me. 

When I think of the Columbine story, being asked "Do you believe in God?" and answering "Yes" is like the lowest level of witness. Even the demons believe in God and would answer the same. But such "opportunities" (if we think of it like that) are few and far between. As Americans, we would more often be dragged though the courts or sued into destitution then strung up from a tree limb to be used as an example to others. We don't live in Roman times; we are not missionaries in the Middle East. The odds of any of us dying for the faith as true martyrs is as likely as winning the Powerball, I would think. 

And yet, we massage the daydream, because it's a distraction from the slog of living the virtues day in and day out on the long, narrow road to sanctification. The little things we suffer we imagine ourselves as persecuted with our first-century brothers and sisters whom we read about. We also have the unfortunate tendency to conflate nationalism with aspects of the faith, and in other aspects are quick to draw Nazi or "gold-star" imagery to draw attention to our plight. 

One telling sign that indicates the contrary to the martyr-complex is that you do not illicit joy. You are like one of those our Lord criticizes for having a gloomy continence when fasting (Mt 6:16). The fact of the matter is you may be a martyr for a cause, or you may take a hit standing up to a totalitarian overstep by government, but you are not promised a martyr's crown as a result. Playing the martyr is not a good look when it's not earned. And to earn it in the U.S. is a rare thing indeed. So, better settle in for the long slog of dying to self everyday, quietly doing secret penance in reparation, and loving one's neighbor sincerely, Prepare to live a long life, and consider it a grace when you may be taken home early. Your martyr day-dream fantasies may be just that.

To Thyself Be True

A couple years ago I wrote an article for One Peter Five titled, "Two Fingers to Death: On Siberia, Sedes, and Schism." In it I wrote about the fascinating story and history of "Old Believers" who fled Russia after the heavy-handed liturgical reforms of Patriarch Nikon in the 17th Century, which were backed by the State.

A 70 year old woman hermit named Agafia, whose family settled in the Siberian wilderness to escape persecution, was one of the last of these Bezpopovtsys who rejected the reforms and clung tightly to what they saw as the original expression of the true Faith. She survived on potatoes, turnips, fish, bread, and bark, had a large tumor in her breast that she lived with, and would not accept bags of flour that had a barcode because barcodes were a sign of the Beast. "Worldy life is frightening," she says. "If Christians sing wordly songs, they're doomed to eternal suffering. Same for music. Everyone who enjoys dancing creates infamy." 

One of these Orthodox liturgical reforms involved the change from two fingers to three in the sign of the cross. The iconic martyr-saint of Old Believers is Boyaryna Morozova, who was personified in the Suilov painting  of her being carried away to her death on a sled while holding up the "two fingers" in defiance. 

As I mentioned in the article, I see Agafia and Morozova's resistance as a mix of Russian fortitude, admirable stubborness, dogmatic integrity, and religious fervor. I also asked the question, "What is the true Faith? Are we willing to die, be exiled, live cut off from society, to preserve it? Does it really matter whether we use two fingers of three in rituals like the sign of the cross? Who has the authority to interpret Scipture, proclaim dogma, and excommunicate? What makes one Catholic?"

My heart was heavy this morning after hearing news of the heavy-handed vaccine mandates being put in place by the current Administration. I know many of my friends are going to suffer for this, and it was a heavy feeling. In speaking with a friend in Australia, she shared that a strongly anti-vax family they are friends with were in Australia for the past five years, had built a network, community, good jobs, etc, and then up and fled to Mexico in the course of a week over this. The husband doesn't speak the language, and he now needs to find work in a foreign country. This is real. As my friend wrote, "People of such deep conviction even made me waver on whether I love the Lord as deeply as they did!"

I have shared her sentiments. I have had the feeling from time to time of feeling like a Judas, a defector, for not having such a stance like a large majority of my friends. But then again, as I shared in one of my previous posts, is resisting the vaccine a sign of moral integrity on it's own standing? Are those who do more virtuous, to be emulated? Those on the left would share the President's almost sinister sentiment that they are irresponsible, deplorable, obstinate and difficult people that need to be brought into line. Their virtue signaling is that to love, to care, is to vaccinate. I don't take this stance. 

I also don't think anyone is going to be canonized for resisting a vaccine either. As a friend said the other day, "it is what comes out of the heart that defiles, not what goes into the body." There are arguments to be made from different angles, I suppose, on that. But my point is that these are real and onerous consequences for those who, for their own reasons, have chosen to resist this mandate to the point of persecution. Is it religious persecution? Nationalistic? Personal? A matter of liberty? Medical choice? I'm not sure. It's all so confusing. But people are going to pay, and suffer for it.

I think people need to be true to themselves and their consciences. This may mean not using preferred pronouns on the basis of not lying. It may mean being arrested for not being able to turn a blind eye to the slaughter of innocents. But when the price tag for such decisions can be high, one cannot afford to be wavering, "a man of two minds" as St. James says, when it comes to they "why's" of those convictions. Because they will be tested, and you need to know the ground you stand on.

I had written another article for One Peter Five exploring this issue of what makes a martyr, using the life of political dissident and Christian Lin Zhao who was jailed in Communist China, as the backdrop for this exploration. It is an existential one at it's core--none of your social media friends, none of your extended relatives or family or work collogues, will be sharing your jail cell with you, or joining you in Siberia or Mexico or wherever. The weight of your choices will be on your shoulders. And that can be heavy. It's no wonder why people waver, apostatize, step on the fumie, pinch the incense, and what have you. Lin Zhao was admirably and wildly obstinate in the eyes of the CCP Regime, a gnat swimming in their liquour. She died gaunt and alone, but she died for an ideal. 

The question is, what are you living for and what are you dying for? Only you can make that determination. Your conscience is your refuge where one dwells with God, alone, and is sacred. You cannot betray it, and you cannot discern it without prayer, especially in matters of religion. 

But sometimes the lines are not so clearly drawn, as discernment can get blurry. I just want all my friends facing these choices to know that I have been praying for them, for their choices, their perseverance, their suffering, and will continue to do so in late-night Adorations. Whatever side of the fence we fall on in light of this distressing iron fist of government, let us always put the Lord and our religion first, and take heart that the Lord will never leave for forsake us, even when it seems everyone else has. Your Siberia may be closer than you think.

The Pain of Mortal Sin

I'm getting a lot of flack in the combox on my article published on the topic of rigidity--basically being accused of being the very thing I am pointing out. Those commenting note with horror the quote I used and affirmed by Queen Blanche, mother of King St. Louis IX, to her son that "I would rather see you dead at my feet than commit a single mortal sin." 

One of my responses, for what it's worth, to a commenter who noted that he would drop dead of shock if he heard Jesus utter that quote, and that there is a fundamental difference in how "traditionalists" see the will of God in Christ. My response (to save me from rehashing):

"And yet the Lord says, ““If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.” (Mt 5:29-30). Is he misspeaking? Does anyone really think one should self-mutilate at the reception of Jesus’ words after they are delivered to him? Of course not. The Lord Himself drives home the gravity of sin in this hyperbolic (not literal) manner to make the point. I interpret Queen Blanche’s words not dis-similarly. Do I ‘wish my children dead’ as one commentedr put on me? Don’t be ridiculous, and quit missing the point. The point is all the saints had an abhorance of sin to the point where they would echo her sentiments for themselves. St Teresa of Avila wrote, “If we knew how much damage one mortal sin does to the soul, we would go to the “greatest trouble imaginable” to avoid committing such a sin. “No thicker darkness” clouds the soul than mortal sin: it produces nothing but “misery and filth,” bringing “endless and eternal evils in its train.” (IC 33-34). If I recall Mother Teresa (is she rigid as well?) felt similarly. I am nowhere close to a saint, but like I said, I stand behind the hyperbole. We are not all called to be Saint X….but we are all called (and given the grace and means) to attain sanctity in order to wear the crown (but not without suffering)."

The thing I wanted to add (as I wasn't able to edit the comment) was that the nature of mortal sin is that it kills the life of grace in the soul, and severs the relationship between the sinner and God. Does that mean God does not love us? Of course not, for nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. Does it mean, as the Church teaches, that the relationship between God and sinner is severed and in need of redemptive repair by way of sacramental Confession? Yes. 

Additionally, this: for those who would be so aghast, the litany of saints throughout history would probably affirm the Queen's words, because they know (like St. Teresa) what death sin produces in the soul, and reel from even it's suggestion, such was their sanctity, and that one would suffer in such a way that they would want what is the "better part" for their children--the salvation of their souls; and that Christ himself used the image of cutting off and casting off one’s very members should they lead them to sin (again, hyperbole, as we don't see masses of one-armed pirate saints throughout history, since they didn't miss Jesus' point but saw it for what it was); if that wasn't enough,

God sent His own Son, HIS VERY OWN SON to SUFFER AND DIE on a cross, for ungrateful men who DIDN'T EVEN CARE! 

Put yourself in the shoes of God the Father. Why did He do this? To save us. From what? The pain of sin. Why was it necessary? The severing of relationship after the Fall was so great, so severe, such an affront to justice, that it was only the perfect sacrifice of GOD HIMSELF made man in Christ, His divine Son, that could redeem and ransom back what was lost in disobedience. 

Do you think God made that sacrifice, even in love, lightly? Do you think it does not pain Him to the point of grief to see the lukewarmness with which men regard their ransom? Knowing the nature of mortal sin, that it separates one from God eternally if unconfessed...is God Himself not grieved to the point of suffering at this loss of the ones whom He wants to love so ardently, so fully, so completely who have cut themselves off by their own free will? He will do anything and everything to get us back to Him, even sending his OWN SON to SUFFER AND DIE so that we might have a chance. 

But! He will not interfere with our free will. Because He knows (of course) and we know (but forget) that love means nothing if it is not free to give; ie, coerced. 

We think God doesn't understand. That we endure temptation. That we suffer. That we lose people we love. 

Could there be any religion which understands human nature and the love of the Divine more fully than Christianity, which makes the sole claim of God COMING DOWN and abasing Himself to become not just like us in appearance, but FULLY HUMAN? And doing so not because He owed us anything or out of a sense of duty, but because He LOVED US with such an incomprehensible love that He would literally offer up His own son, who shared in Him the Divine Nature, to suffer humiliation, torture, and yes, death. For us.

I recalled a story from the life of St Felicity. Appearing before the prefect of Rome with her pious sons, he exhorted her to sacrifice to idols, but in reply heard a generous confession of faith. “Do not threaten me,” she said. “The spirit of God is with me and will overcome every assault you make.”

“Wretched woman,” he said to her. “How can you be so barbarous as to expose your children to torments and death? Have pity on these tender creatures, who are in the flower of their age and can aspire to the highest positions in the Empire!”

Felicity replied, “My children will live eternally with Jesus Christ if they are faithful; they will have only eternal torments to await if they sacrifice to idols. Your apparent pity is but a cruel impiety.”

I was starting to get a gaslighty feeling reading some of the comments. Like, "Do I really want to see my kids dead?" "Is mortal sin that big a deal?" "Was that quote a bit much?" Second guessing, you know? What made me hot was the subtle implying that I was an abusive parent, or that I did not love my children with a fervent love, or that I was 'rigid' to the point of sadism...all from strangers on the internet. That such a prospect would somehow not rend my heart in two with grief. 

But I still stand by it, when I reflect. For some the road we work out to sanctity looks this way and for some that way, but no one can avoid the cross (whatever that is for them) that God lays on us, because if we are to be true imitators of Christ we can only be called worthy as disciples if we take it up. Otherwise, "we have no inheritance with him," for "he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me (Mt 10:37)

Now, would I tell my kids that to their face? Certainly not at their current age, and even when older I would be reticent except should it be used as a nuclear option to drive the essence of the point home and shake them up to how great God's mercy and love is, and how sin unequivocally seeks to undermines everything that God the Father did for us, how it gives birth to nothing but death, and how it separates us from the only thing that spiritually sustains us in this life--sanctifying grace--the indwelling of the Spirit of God, the inner light that sin attempts to snuff out by any means necessary. Call it a "rigid love"--the love of the soul.

Should we resist sin to the point of death? You bet. If we do we're in good company. If we heed the voices of the world that claim this too extreme, sadistic, cruel, unreasonable--we can lay down our crown then. We have forfeited the race, not run well. Because Christ did not promise that we would not suffer, possibly even to the point of death, and it is not necessarily contra to His will, as St. Paul says, "In your struggle against sin, you have not suffered unto blood" (Heb 12:4). 

Christ did, though. And if we are not willing to follow...well, I'm sure there are plenty of options in the world for someone that may be more agreeable to one's sensibilities. 

Fatherhood In The Age Of Witness

Of all the modern (hopefully, soon-to-be) saints, Fr. Hardon speaks to me the most about the perils of the modern age and the witness of what he calls the Martyrdom of Witness (ie, "White Martyrdom"). He knew from personal experience.

On Father's Day, every man who provides for his family knows the dangers wrought of taking on such a role--to provide, to protect, and to live by his convictions so that his children might live this witness in his footsteps. He knows words are cheap, and catechism means nothing without its lived-out expression in a life of faith.

The Lord Christ prepares and exhorts us to count the cost.

“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’

“Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples." (Lk 14:28-33)

The loss of employment by way of white martyrdom may seem like a first-world problem, but it is a real martyrdom nonetheless, especially under the temptation to offer "just a pinch of incense." We must be wise as serpents and innocent as doves, and live our lives in a way that gives no scandal or ammunition to those who would have us stand accused.

Probably the most trying part of such martyrdom of witness is that it seems to be for naught, to stand for something and accept the punishment of injustice for doing what is right--for not lying, not conceding to falsehood, for standing firm against a tide of humiliation and accusation when it is met with a shrug by onlookers, or quickly forgotten and to be written off as a fool. There is real suffering involved, and it is most pertinently felt by men and fathers who bear the weight of and responsibility for their family's livelihood. While 99 turn and shrug as termination papers are drawn up, there may be 1 that sees such a stand for what is right and is moved by it to wonder, at least, the cause for such conviction.

Of course, one does not take such stands lightly, and certainly not to be cast in any kind of limelight for accolades among allies. But simply, they take such stands because they can do not other but what is right, and witness to the truth of things no matter what the cost. They do so in the pall shadow of eternity, for they know the tribunals they face in their places of employment in this life will be turned to dust in a matter of decades, whereas the choices to concede to falsehood, or betray their children's confidence in what is right at any and all times, will set them up for eternal damnation by the Judge who will sit on his throne until the end of time.

If wives and children want to give a true and lasting gift this Father's Day, it would be to stand with their husbands and fathers during these inevitable times of trial, when men will be put to the test, and share in the cost of such a witness should it arise--for they themselves, if what they value is vacations and trinkets and the things which a salary can provide, can weaken his resolve. But if he knows his family will stand behind him--in poverty, in sickness, in the loss of security we have grown so accustomed to--they become his Veronica, wiping his face on the way to his personal Calvary to pay the price for the wager of faith. If a man has the love and support of his wife and children, and the assurance of doing what is right, and the grace of perseverance, he can endure almost anything.

"Not all the faithful who suffer for Christ also die for Christ. Opposition to the Christian faith and way of life does not always end in violent death for the persecuted victims.

Consequently, it is well to distinguish between what may be called martyrdom of blood and martyrdom of opposition, which is bloodless indeed, but no less--and sometimes more--painful to endure.

Not all the victims of persecution die at the hands of a godless government. Millions more are ostensibly free to walk the streets and live in a home. Yet they are, in effect, deprived of every human liberty to practice their religion and to serve Christ according to their Faith. If they teach their children catechism, the parents are prevented from enjoying such privileges as decent living quarters or any kind of skilled job. If they are seen attending church, they are first warned, then threatened, and finally penalized – even to the loss of their possessions.

So the sorry tale goes on, and has been going on for years, in spite of the conspiracy of silence in our American press.

But that is not the whole picture. We need to shake ourselves into awareness that our country is going through persecution. It is no less real for being subtle, and no less painful for being perpetrated in the name of democracy.

What do I mean? I mean that any priest or religious, any married or single person in America who wishes to sincerely and fully live up to his Catholic commitment, finds countless obstacles in his way and experiences innumerable difficulties that accumulatively demand heroic fortitude to overcome and withstand.

All we have to do is place the eight beatitudes in one column and the eight corresponding attitudes of our culture in another column, and compare the two. Where Christ advocates poverty, the world despises the poor and canonizes the rich. Where Christ praises gentleness, the world belittles meekness and extols those who succeed by crushing anyone who stands in their way. Where Christ encourages mourning and sorrow for sin, the world revels in pleasure and the noise of empty laughter. Where Christ promises joy only to those who seek justice and holiness, the world offers satisfaction in the enjoyment of sin. Where Christ bids us forgive and show mercy to those who have offended us, the world seeks vengeance and its law courts are filled with demands for retribution. Where Christ blesses those who are pure of heart, the world scoffs at chastity and makes a god of sex. Where Christ tells the peaceful that they shall be rewarded, the world teaches just the opposite in constant rebellion and violence and massive preparation for war. And where Christ teaches the incredible doctrine of accepting persecution with patience and resignation to God's will, the world dreads nothing more than criticism and rejection; and human respect which means acceptance by society, is the moral norm.

On the bloody side, our century has had more Christians who were martyred for Christ than in all the centuries from Calvary to nineteen hundred included. I should know because not a few of my own relatives behind the iron curtain have shed their blood for Christ rather than deny their Catholic Faith.

To this day, innumerable Catholics are dying for their faith at the hands of Muslims who are told by the Koran to either convert Christians from their idolatry of adoring the man Jesus as though he were God, or put them to death.

But my focus here is on our own country. Call it an unbloody martyrdom. But have no doubt that to live an authentic Catholic life in America today is to live a martyr's life.

This is my fiftieth year in the priesthood, and I can testify to every syllable of the following sentence: Only heroic bishops and heroic priests, heroic religious, heroic fathers and mothers, heroic faithful, will survive the massive persecution of the Catholic Church in our country today. We call ourselves the Land of Liberty. But the only liberty that is given freedom is the liberty to do your own will. Pro-choice is not just a clever phrase. It is the hallmark of a culture in which millions have chosen to do what they want and make life humanly impossible for those who choose to do what God wants.

Martyrdom of Witness We still have one more type of martyrdom to reflect on, and it is, in a way, the most pervasive of all because no follower of Christ can escape it. This is the martyrdom of witness.

What do we mean by martyrdom of witness and how does it differ from the other two? It differs from them in that, even in the absence of active opposition--the imitation of Christ must always face passive opposition. From whom? From those who lack a clear vision of the Savior or who, having had it, lost their former commitment to Christ. All that we have seen about the martyrdom by violence applies here too, but the method of opposition is different. Here the firm believer in the Church's teaching authority; the devoted servant of the papacy; the convinced pastor who insists on sound doctrine to his flock; the dedicated religious who want to remain faithful to their vows of authentic poverty, honest chastity, and sincere obedience; the firm parents who are concerned about the religious and moral training of their children and are willing to sacrifice generously to build and care for a Christian family--natural or adopted--such persons will not be spared also active criticism and open opposition. But they must especially be ready to live in an atmosphere of coldness to their deepest beliefs.

Sometimes they would almost wish the opposition were more overt and even persecution would be a welcome change. It is the studied indifference of people whom they know and love, of persons in their own natural or religious family, of men and women whose intelligence they respect and whose respect they cherish.

This kind of apathy can be demoralizing and, unless it finds relief, can be devastating.

To continue living a Christ-like life in this kind of environment is to practice the martyrdom of witness. Why witness? Because it means giving testimony to our deep religious convictions although all around us others are giving their own example to the contrary.

It means giving witness twice over: once on our own behalf as the outward expression of what we internally believe and once again on behalf of others whose conduct is not only different from ours but contradicts it.

Wherein lies the martyrdom? It lies in the deprivation of good example to us on the part of our contemporaries, and in the practice of Christian virtue in loneliness, because those who witness what we do are in the majority--numerically or psychologically--and we know they are being challenged and embarrassed by the testimony. We witness to them, indeed, but they are not pleased to witness who we are, what we stand for, what we say, or what we do.

Notwithstanding all of this, however, it behooves us to look at the positive side of the picture. We must remind ourselves that this witness of ours is not so sterile as we may suppose; quite the contrary. Although we may be, or at least feel, often quite alone, we are not alone at all. Not infrequently our severest critics can become our strongest admirers. In any case, witness that we give by living up to the conviction of our Faith is surely demanding on human nature. That is why we call it martyrdom. But it is a witness to the truth and God's grace is always active in the hearts of everyone whose path we cross.

If we would know the power of this martyrdom of witness we have only to read the annals of the early Church. The handful of believers whom Peter baptized on Pentecost Sunday were as a drop in the immense culture surrounding the Mediterranean Sea. Yet see what happened. This small group of convinced faithful were able, in less than three hundred years, to turn the tide of paganism in the Roman Empire. For a long time they were deprived even of the basic civil rights accorded other citizens. They were often hunted like animals, and the catacombs tell us that they had to hide when celebrating the Liturgy and hide the tombs of their revered dead.

But their patience and meekness finally prevailed. Yes, but only because it was supported by unbounded courage, born not of their own strength, but of the power that Christ promised to give all His followers that shall witness to His name everywhere. This promise is just as true today. All that we need is to trust in the Spirit Whom we possess, and never grow weary in giving testimony to the grace we received.

This is what Christ was talking about when He told us not to hide our virtues but to allow them to be publicly seen, like a candle on a candlestick or a city on a mountaintop. We should not be afraid that by such evidence of our good works we shall be protected from vainglory by the cost in humiliation that witnessing to a holy life inevitably brings. There will have to be enough death to self and enough ignoring of human respect to keep us from getting proud in our well-doing. God will see to that. On our part, we must be willing to pay the price of suffering in doing good, which is another name for being a living martyr, that is, a courageous witness to the life of Christ in the world today."

--Fr. John Hardon, SJ

The Truth Will Make You Suffer

"I am very fond of truth, but not at all of martyrdom."

--Voltaire

Servant of God Fr. John Hardon writes about the "white martyrdom" of witness, a living martydom he experienced himself. He writes,

"Martyrdom is not an appendix to Christianity. It belongs to its essence. If we unite our sufferings for the faith with the Precious Blood of Christ, we shall be cooperating with Him in the redemption of the world.  

The secret is to love the cross. Why? Because our Love was crucified and we wish to be crucified with Him. Why? Because then we shall be glorified together with Him."

He goes on to explain this martyrdom of witness, violent in it's own regard:

"What do we mean by martyrdom of witness and how does it differ from the other two? It differs from them in that, even in the absence of active opposition--the imitation of Christ must always face passive opposition. From whom? From those who lack a clear vision of the Savior or who, having had it, lost their former commitment to Christ. All that we have seen about the martyrdom by violence applies here too, but the method of opposition is different. Here the firm believer in the Church's teaching authority; the devoted servant of the papacy; the convinced pastor who insists on sound doctrine to his flock; the dedicated religious who want to remain faithful to their vows of authentic poverty, honest chastity, and sincere obedience; the firm parents who are concerned about the religious and moral training of their children and are willing to sacrifice generously to build and care for a Christian family--natural or adopted--such persons will not be spared also active criticism and open opposition. But they must especially be ready to live in an atmosphere of coldness to their deepest beliefs.  

Sometimes they would almost wish the opposition were more overt and even persecution would be a welcome change. It is the studied indifference of people whom they know and love, of persons in their own natural or religious family, of men and women whose intelligence they respect and whose respect they cherish. 

This kind of apathy can be demoralizing and, unless it finds relief, can be devastating. To continue living a Christ-like life in this kind of environment is to practice the martyrdom of witness. Why witness? Because it means giving testimony to our deep religious convictions although all around us others are giving their own example to the contrary. It means giving witness twice over: once on our own behalf as the outward expression of what we internally believe and once again on behalf of others whose conduct is not only different from ours but contradicts it.  

Wherein lies the martyrdom? It lies in the deprivation of good example to us on the part of our contemporaries, and in the practice of Christian virtue in loneliness, because those who witness what we do are in the majority--numerically or psychologically--and we know they are being challenged and embarrassed by the testimony. We witness to them, indeed, but they are not pleased to witness who we are, what we stand for, what we say, or what we do."

When Christ was being brought before Annas the high priest and was struck he replied, “If I said something wrong,” Jesus replied, “testify as to what is wrong. But if I spoke the truth, why did you strike me?” (Jn 18:23) Later when brought before Pilate he testified that "the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me” (Jn 18:37) Pilate seems torn, when he responds, "What is truth?" the way a philosopher might. But Jesus is not a philosopher, but Truth itself (Jn 14:6), and can only testify to the truth and what is true.

How easy it is to lie by not telling the truth. But we should know that as Christians, we are bound to tell the truth, and this can put us in the some precarious situations in the secular arena when we face those who attempt to coerce us in affirming what is a lie. One quickly finds they can avoid the uncomfortable and sometimes searing indictments that come with affirming the true by sidestepping it. Like Peter, we may deny, with our heads down, that we ever knew the Truth. Just a pinch of incense, as the saying goes.

In the Western world, most of us will not die the death of a martyr, but we may live it. Good priests find themselves exiled or reprimanded for upholding God's law in the face of compromise; business owners are bullied into betraying their beliefs and by extension, their Christ. While the crowds affirm the emperor's nakedness, the child who shouts, "He has no clothes!" leaves everyone uncomfortably aghast. We pay the toll for driving in the wrong lane, for not playing by the world's rules.

We also face a kind of shedding, when we chafe up against the uncomfortable truths that we are not as good as we believe, not as charitable as we perceive ourselves to be, lacking integrity and courage by throwing our brothers and sisters under the bus by our silence and indifference. A man sees the truth about himself and tells the truth about the world, but a righteous man also suffers for it.

All things will be brought into the light on the Last Day. Until then, we must live by the truth and die by the truth, because we know what is true. If we don't yet know what is true, we must pray for wisdom, like Solomon, and for a clean heart, like David. For the truth cannot rest in an unclean heart, and wisdom cannot rest in fool's house. When we have come up against the truth, we will know, because the world will push back against it, or turn away in indifference. When we have to suffer for it, we should take it as our lot, not as something to be surprised by (1 Peter 4:12). And when we pray, we know God will give us the grace to persevere through such trials, as long as we do not turn away and abandon the race. You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free (Jn 8:32). But you may pay very dearly for it in the end.

"All truth passes through three stages.

First, it is ridiculed. 

Second, it is violently opposed. 

Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.."

--Arthur Schopenhauer

You Have Not Resisted Unto Blood

What an interesting day! Two of my posts were flagged by Facebook for "not meeting community standards" One was the story of Fr. James Haley and his white martyrdom. The other was one of my blog posts. Friends reported they share some of my posts and blog and they too were flagged and taken down. Weird.

If you're here for the first time, welcome. I make $0 from blogging, have never made any money from writing in fact. I have no ads on my site and no ulterior motive or agenda other than sharing the Catholic faith and what Jesus Christ and our Blessed Mother has done in my life and the life of my family to anyone who will listen. I try to write every other day or so and keep it orthodox. I try not to be clickbaity, because I have nothing to gain by doing so. I usually spend no more than an hour per post. I don't have much more than that to spare.

Wisdom and Folly is not my first blog. I had one for a few years prior that was personal like this one but not as focused. When my faith and walk with the Lord started to crowd out the other things in my life (thanks be to God), I wanted a fresh start and launched this site three years ago and have been writing exclusively here about my attempts to live a Catholic life and disciple of Jesus Christ while being married and raising a family. I write about faith, family, marriage, chastity, and Catholic manhood, and have used Facebook as a platform to post my writing and engage with people. I used to have a pretty diverse feed but after the election that changed a bit. I have more peace having gotten off the fence that I was straddling, but I feel like it may have cost me as well. I'm okay with that. I don't see it as a place to evangelize anymore, though I did at one point. Instead, I enjoy 'being fed' so to speak by other faithful Catholics and learning what I need to learn from those with more experience than me to go into the fray.

Back to the flagging, though. Like many people, I've had a love/hate relationship with Facebook for the past ten years or so. As a friend told me once, "Wow, you really put yourself out there." Well, yes, I guess I do in some ways. It's a blessing and a curse, much like writing. A blessing because of all the faithful people I have met that I would not have met otherwise. A curse because, well, it can leave you a little...exposed. My wife is a saint for bearing with me and my subtle eccentricities, because they are legion. I'm not controversial by nature, nor am I conspiracy theorist.  I am not an intellectual or a theologian. I'm just some joe with a blog. So I find it kind of funny that someone is censoring my posts or reporting me to Facebook or whatever. From what I understand, other people have been experiencing this too.

Lest we think we are more than we are, that we are special, or that being flagged on Facebook is any kind of persecution, I like to remind myself of the scripture, "You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin" (Heb 12:4). We do not need to go looking for trouble, because when you proclaim the Truth of Christ and live it, it will find you. Being a jerk doesn't make you a martyr, either. We should emulate our Savior in his actions: to pray for those who persecute us (Mt 5:44), count ourselves blessed when we are reviled and falsely accused (Mt 5:11), wash our face and anoint our head when we fast (Mt 6:17), and sing and rejoice in suffering (Rom 5:3-5). It doesn't mean we're doing something wrong (though this is how the world will make you feel), but something right!

I don't see or go looking for devils under every rock, though I believe strongly in the reality of evil and the seriousness of spiritual warfare. When you're steeped in sin or lukewarm in your faith, you're already had, so the Devil doesn't need to waste any energy on you. But when you start trying to live for the Lord, he goes at you, sometimes hard but by the usual means--ordinary temptation, dejection, desolation of spirit, sometimes external misfortune or calamity or other 'weird' things. No matter. He has no power over us when we are in Christ. Don't give him any more attention than he deserves. We are not Padre Pio or Jean Vianney. That doesn't mean the devil doesn't want our souls. It just means we shouldn't think we are great saints when we face ordinary temptation. We are sinners and should adopt the posture of the publican. We should be ourselves, and try to serve the Lord in the capacity appropriate to our state in life.

That being said, the little Facebook thing was kind of a wake up call for me. I don't know what God is doing in my life, but He is doing something. It can be hard to explain, but he is replacing fear with trust, comfort with austerity, worldliness with asceticism, and disease with joy. It is all by grace, and I would never want to go back having experienced it. I don't know what I'm called to do, but I'm going to keep writing about Christ, because it's what I seem to do. When I try to keep it in, try not to write, Jeremiah comes to mind:

"But if I say, “I will not remember Him Or speak anymore in His name,” Then in my heart it becomes like a burning fire Shut up in my bones; And I am weary of holding it in, And I cannot endure it" 

(Jer 20:9)

Those suffering for the Name in foreign lands face persecution, real persecution every day. In our country too, there are legal ramifications for standing for truth, but rarely is one forced to shed blood for the faith. That is why Fr. John Hardon referred to the oft-experienced 'white martyrdom' to differentiate it from the shedding of blood in red martyrdom. Whatever the Lord calls us to experience, that is His will for us, and we should go to it willingly and without fear, because He walks with us. But it's a nutty age, and we don't know how we're going to go. For Cardinal Francis George of Chicago, "I expect to die in bed, my successor will die in prison and his successor will die a martyr in the public square. His successor will pick up the shards of a ruined society and slowly help rebuild civilization, as the church has done so often in human history.”

We shouldn't make a bigger deal of our sufferings or misfortunes than is merited, and we also shouldn't underestimate the trials the Lord may have in store for us for our sanctification. Our job throughout it all is to remain faithful, to pray unceasingly as is appropriate to our state of life, and to offer ourselves, loving til it hurts...even to those who flag our little posts;)