Memorial Stones

One of the great traumas of my childhood was driving up and down Mt. Washington with my family in our 1988 Plymouth Caravan. I can still smell the burning rubber of the brakes on the descent down the switchback mountain, having to pull over to sheer drop offs every few miles for things to cool down. I was absolutely sure we were going to die. We did earn the right to sport the "This Car Climbed Mount Washington" bumper sticker, which the van sported with pride all through high school and took to its grave when it finally bit the dust.

The Presidential Range is an impressive mountain range set in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Unpredictable weather that can turn on a dime, combined with unbelievably high winds, make for an exciting hiking experience. Though I never did any overnights in the Whites, we did hike Tuckerman's Ravine and other various day-hikes that made your joints beg for mercy. 

I remember my knees killing me so I decided when the trail leveled out slightly to just let my body go and not hold back. I quickly picked up speed, my eyes darting down the trail and my boots finding a place to land every second. Eventually you are careening so fast that if you stop to think about what you are doing or where to put your feet, you will bite it and it will not be pretty. So it's kind of a cool exercise in abandoning yourself to the force of gravity and turning your brain off and just dialing in to a kind of high-stakes zen-like free fall.

When you get above tree-line in the White Mountains, it can be easy to lose the trail if you're not careful. There are no trees to mark with trail marker paint, and even if you painted rocks the extreme weather would wear it away. So what hikers do is set what are called 'rock cairns'--basically piles of rocks that can be seen through fog and are impervious to weather in all four seasons. They are an effective way of keeping one on the path to the summit, and to help one find their way down as well.

In the fourth chapter of the Book of Joshua, The LORD tells Moses successor, Joshua, to 

"Choose twelve men from among the people, one from each tribe, and tell them to take up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan from right where the priests stood and to carry them over with you and put them down at the place where you stay tonight." (Joshua 4:5-6)

When they have crossed the Jordan and arrive at Gilgal on the tenth day of the first month, Joshua sets up the twelve stones they had taken out of the river. Joshua said to the Israelites,

"In the future when your descendants ask their fathers, "What do these stones mean?" tell them, 'Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.' (Joshua 4:19-21)

Remembering what God had done for them as a people, what God had delivered them from and what He had brought them into, was extremely important to the Jewish people. God did not want them to forget His saving power. 

I have found the practice of setting up these cairns, or memorial stones, in my life an important reminder as well. When things get hard and we are in the weeds, it can be easy to forget what God has done for us, the times He has been faithful and delivered us, provided for us, carried us. We should learn to set stones and memorials in our lives as they occur so as not to forget, and to serve as a marker to remind us that GOD IS FAITHFUL. He will never leave us or forsake us, though we might stray from the path. 

I have many many marker stones I have left that I look back to, the times when the LORD has delivered us or been there for us when we put our trust in Him:

• I try to never forget that my wife Debbie was an answer to prayer; she was God's provision for me, and I for her. We almost didn't meet! But God is faithful.
• God found us a house when we really needed it. He met all our needs when we prayed for help in a seemingly improbably scenario. The timing, the location, the fact that our offer was accepted and that we also sold our existing house, I felt were provisions from the Lord for our family. God is faithful.
• I thought my fate might lead me to be on disability and be resigned to going to a supervised workshop each day, but God has opened doors for employment--as well as closing ones--when I took it to Him in prayer. God is faithful.
• Our children are a blessing from the Lord. He has chosen us to lead them in the way that is right. To even have children at all is such a gift we do not take for granted. God is faithful.
• We have our faith, and by grace we have discovered the pearl of great price, sold everything we have to buy it, and are so grateful for the gift of faith. God is faithful.

There are many many other markers from the past that we look to when things get foggy, when we are in periods of grief and suffering and doubt, these cairns that keep us on the path. We tell the stories, to each other and to those we meet, so we can remember, singing songs of praise to God's faithfulness. When things get hard we tell each other, "He did it before, He can do it again!" and give glory to Him when He delivers. If He does not, we trust that He has a reason and give glory for that as well, for He always wills our good. In good times and bad, in comfort and suffering, we bless the Lord. 

So as you go through life, lay your stones down, mark the trail, and remember all the good God has done. When things get hard, when you are in doubt, remember; tell the stories, and remember. Give thanks, trust, and remember. A grateful heart is a joyful heart, and one who trusts in the Lord will not be put to shame.

"I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders." (Ps 9:1)

The Crisis of Effeminacy and How To Raise A Man. Lecture by Exorcist Fr. Chad Ripperger (notes, PART 2)

In the second part of his lecture, Fr. Ripperger lays out and extols the necessity of the theological virtues. That is, a real man is a virtuous man. The effeminate man eschews the virtues because they are hard.
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Your job as a man is to sacrifice yourself for your wife--provide and protect.
Primary person you have to protect her from is YOURSELF.
She's more likely to suffer injury at your expense because she loves you.

Any guy who doesn't master chastity is no true man.
A true man is a man of virtue (temperance)
Sleeping with many women is effeminate because he is only thinking about himself and not protecting and putting women first.

Boys growing up today are miserable. No semblance of masculinity, since the time they are little their masculinity is being beaten out of them by the culture and feminism. When a guy is constantly thinking of himself, he is effeminate, and they are miserable, because they are not designed for that.

God created in Eve an inclination (led to Adam), but she had to be concerned with herself that she is suitable to him in appearance.

An unmarried woman has to look for a man who will take care and protect her FOR THE SAKE OF HER CHILDREN (virtuous woman), not for herself (fallen woman)


FORTITUDE
Difficult things are FULFILLING
A true man likes the feel of being physically exhausted because it is what we are designed to do.

The irony: men excelling in chastity is not so much for themselves, but for women.
For women, being chaste is for themselves (can get pregnant)
Men have to view it is safeguarding women and their well being, guarding their integrity (spiritual, physical, emotional, etc)

JUSTICE
SACRIFICE

Virtue of religion
Praying is HARD; matters of religion are HARD that's why its masculine

YOU KNOW THERE IS A CRISIS/DISASTER IN THE CHURCH when all the matters of religion are being ceded to women. This signals a crisis in the clergy, that they have become effeminate.

A man must assume authority in the home, must maintain his authority since the sin of Eve is to usurp authority.

Must exercise that authority in a matter of justice and equanimity.
He does not pursue peace at the expense of his authority.
Peace brings a certain pleasure, so if you're not careful it will become your end and you will compromise to achieve it.

Structure of authority has to do with the protection and providence of those under him.
Major problem in traditional movement.
Because many men in trad movement are generally effeminate and no virtue, no BALANCE in exercising authority.

Your wife and children are not there to serve you.
According to Thomas Aquinas and the Church Fathers, man is responsible for EVERYTHING (diapers, dishes, etc).
But women are assigned as helpers, not slaves.
She is there so help YOU do YOUR JOB.


PRUDENCE
application of universal moral principals in the concrete. (THOU SHALT NOT STEAL. Don't take it)
Men should excel at this.
This cognitive power/virtue has the ability to do three things:
1) association (beer advertisements, get you to drink the beer.
2) good or bad on physical level (burning hand, etc)
3) prepares images for abstract/objective thinking

Women's intuition designed to help their children
Men designed more for abstract thinking

Why is this important with relation to prudence?
In order to apply to concrete. i need more than association, i need to know this is a case of theft, for instance. I need to have the right images in my mind in order to be able to judge the correct way.

Here's the problem:
The emotions get merged, emotions compromise intellectual judgment. the more he relies on his emotions and following them, he will never be able to practice prudence.
Trad guys (all emotion) don't know how to apply right authority (reason)

Must be able to judge objectively and THEN DO IT. If he can't even judge, his masculinity has been compromised.
If he does know the right thing to do and emotions start effecting his judgment, he's no man.


MEEKNESS
virtue opposite of anger

The guy who is angry is the guy who is effeminate.
Anger is a complex passion with a perception of injury with a desire for vindication (harming other thing so that it stops harming you, get pleasure out of that)
Perception of injury. A real man can take blows and keep standing.
The guy who regardless of what happens in family, work, driving, etc...
If he can't take the needling and just goes to seek vindication, he's effeminate.


HUMILITY
A truly masculine virtue
A willingness to lead a life in accordance with the truth and not judging yourself greater than you are.
In its opposite, pride, we get a pleasure out of thinking of our own excellence. takes delight in own greatness (when he's not really)
A humble man looks at his defects and it is HARD to see it.


A man should have all of the virtues

If you're going to raise a man, first thing you must do is let your boy suffer a bit. (ordered suffering)

Pain is when you physically feel something bad
Suffering is when it goes on for a while (a judgement of time)
Animals don't experience suffering bc they have no concept of time.
This means that boys must work in things that are DIFFICULT.
They must be required to encounter things that are psychically, emotionally, mentally, and volitionally HARD
Has to be consistent
Must be shown VALUE of that hard work
Should get something , and also affirmation
Giving your son everything he wants without earning it is bad practice
Must be taught be example.
Work must be moderated (not too much, not too little)

Must see father practicing the theological virtues
Can't just be drinking beer and watching tv while mom prays

Must learn meekness when things dont go his way, and moderate anger
Recreation is a means, not an end. pleasure recreates the soul (when done moderate) Aristotle

Men must avoid the tendency not to see their sons's suffer

Feminism is self hatred
Most women who are feminists seek to destroy masculinity (self-hatred)
Being a women is a perfection, so you shouldn't have to feel bad about being a woman.
Women who are really feminine take real delight in seeing someone who is a real man
Women who are feminists are miserable.
Real problem wants to ultimate destroy what is feminine, which is bad because what is feminine is beautifal.
Must emasculate men so don't feel so bad about themselves.

Women have to let their boys be men
Responsibility--must see father NOT capitulate authority in the family.
Must see the father exercise authority RESPONSIBLY. if not, will come to hate masculinity bc he Will see the injustices against his mother.
My dad's a real man bc he's doing this for the well being of the kids and their mother
Must see true love for his mother (father loving mother)
Must see fruit of their labor (otherwise they will feel like a slave)
On opposite end of spectrum is they must work for what they want. nobody owes you anything
must be taught to appropriate those things under his charge (take care of the things he is put in charge of, to seem the flourish). To see his wife flourish
Must learn right order and authority structure, see wife submit, husband love.
Must learn docility and prudence by following right order.

A true man submits to his mother because it's HARD, creates PIETY (give honor to those over us). gets pleasure from the virtue of serving his parents (4th commandment)
wanting to do own thing all the time is effeiminate, bc seeks only pleasure.
moral of story: have to have inner discipline and self control for FREEDOM

How do you make a boy into a man?
Develop  VIRTUE
Take delight in them.
What are virtues and how do we obtain them?

Goal is to get them to age of 18, when all have moral and mental habits of seeing things properly, making sure judgment is not affected by emotion, and that his intellect judgment is illuminated by faith, not emotions. not going to get that without pain and suffering.

The Crisis of Effeminacy and How To Raise A Man. Lecture by Exorcist Fr. Chad Ripperger (notes, PART 1)

I don't think I have come across a more compelling and indicting exposition on the crisis of manhood in our culture than this somewhat underground lecture by exorcist Fr. Chad Ripperger that I recently stumbled across. Fr. Ripperger uses a Thomistic philosophical framework to expound upon the four forms of effeminacy in men today, using the Fall in Genesis as the backdrop for explaining just what happened to us and what it means to be a man. He is clear, he is concise, and he is completely unforgiving. He has no use or time for political correctness in diagnosing this disease, but he does pose a potent cure. I have linked the the lecture below, it is about an hour long. 

If you are a man...listen to it. 

If you are a woman...listen to it. 

If you have sons...listen to it. 

Do yourself a favor and listen to it.

On my third listen I decided to take some notes. Here they are from the first half (0min-36 minutes). I will post the second half notes tomorrow in a separate post.

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The status of masculinity is in an absolute horrible decline. Effeminacy is the norm, not the exception. To find someone who is not effeminate today is rare.

Effeminacy as defined by St. Thomas Aquinas is "an unwillingness to put aside one's pleasure in order to pursue what is arduous (difficult)."

SLOTH is an aversion to what is hard

EFFEMINACY is an attachment to what is pleasurable.

One of the sins of Adam was inept joy. His lower appetite took delight in the fact that the fruit of the tree was pleasing. He knew the command not to eat (reason). If I am to do the right thing, I need to die to myself and not touch it. He allows the lower appetite to take control contrary to reason. 

A supernatural gift before the Fall was INTEGRITY--the lower appetites were subject to reason. The appetites after the Fall gained a life of their own, and man ended up pursuing pleasure at the expense of reason. 

A second problem in the Fall was that Eve eats the fruit, gives to Adam, essentially saying "take my lead" trying to take control. After the Fall, women get stuck with the problem of trying to control their husbands. This sets up a dynamic of the wife ruling the roost at home. Man just wants peace and does what she wants to attain it.

Adam for his part got stuck with the problem of not wanting to be separated from his wife. He chose the pleasure of being around his wife rather than listening to God and obeying his command. He ate the fruit, and rather than accept responsibility he half-blames his wife and half blames God.

Part of effeminacy is choosing the pleasure of not having to take responsibility for something. This is pandemic in most men today (avoiding taking a beating for doing wrong). Blaming his wife was another form of effeminacy.

If you are effeminate, your wife will never respect you or be happy with you. The God-ordered natural inclination for woman is to subordinate to right authority.

Our culture is TOO EASY, TOO SIMPLISTIC, and TOO PLEASURABLE for men. Most jobs are sitting at a computer rather than hard work. Technology brings us a pleasure in its use. It is a tool but if used to regularly, becomes a problem. Nonstop use of technology by boys today is softening them, overstimulating, and makes effeminate since they have no control of their appetites.

Part of being a man is being chaste because being chaste is HARD. A real man is chaste.

When time to put the pleasure of technology aside, many men do not have the virtue necessary to do it, and won't be ready to assume the essential obligations of marriage when the times comes.

Bl Fulton Sheen--Maturity comes from PAIN (SUFFERING) and RESPONSIBILITY

4 forms of effeminacy

1) SENSUAL. Pleasures of food, laying around, avoiding hard things, etc) 

2) EPPITIVE (sp?). When men and boys are habituated in following their emotions because of the pleasure they derive from it, you DESTROY their masculinity and avoid following REASON.

3) INTELLECTUAL--the pleasure we take in considering certain things. 

The nature of masculinity is TO PURSUE THE TRUTH, ARRIVE AT IT, and REST IN THE TRUTH.

Taking pleasure in the process, if not moderated, becomes effeminate and intellectually proud. "Intellectual masturbation." No clarity of judgment.

4) VOLITIONAL--self wil and self love. Likes doing one's 'own thing.'

A real man puts aside his pleasure in order to pursue GREAT THINGS and greatness of soul.

A real man is a man of VIRTUE, which comes from interior self discipline and self control.

The guy who can stand in the face of evil or pleasure and maintain his interior control is a real man.

TRUE MANHOOD SUBMITS TO THE TRUTH NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS. You have to be willing to pursue the Truth wherever it leads regardless of the personal cost. 

St Thomas--"the one thing God wants from every rational creature is the sacrificing of their will to his." God assigned it that way, and you must deny how you "feel" to achieve it.

Adam fell because he took the effeminate route.

The CROSS is the EXACT INVERSION of the Fall.

Adam did not deny himself the pleasure of eating the fruit, now has to work in thorns.

Christ is CROWNED IN THORNS. Had to carry his own own cross, sweat and blood on his face.

Fr. Ripperger's dad said to him before his ordination "The problem in the priesthood is THERE ARE NO MORE (REAL) MEN LEFT IN IT." Priests are lazy in the confessional and lax because they don't want to work, and don't want to suffer either for upholding doctrine.

Pornography is all about effeminacy

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TOMORROW: 

"What is a man?" 

"How do we get there?"

What Does It Mean To Be A Man?

This evening we were out to dinner with friends. The kids were playing on the playground outside as we waited for our food. My wife was sitting talking with her friend, and I ended up keeping an eye on the kids.

It was interesting to watch the differences between the boys and girls playing. The boys were rough, running the wrong way up the slides, crashing through people. The girls were quietly taking turns in line, and generally docile. I saw this when I taught 5th grade CCD as well. The boys couldn't sit still and I was always yelling at them, the girls were well behaved. I would suspect boys were 'punished' more just for being boys.

"I hate watching the kids, with all those playground moms," I later confessed to my wife on the drive home. "It's emasculating. You should be the one out there, not me."

"You're being an active parent," she replied.

"I guess."

What does it mean to be a man today? Nobody knows. At the university where I work there is a new department: the "Center For Healthy Masculinity." I assume it is a grant-funded position established to help address the rampant sexual assault that occurs on college campuses like ours. A woman in her late twenties is the "Director."

I find the implication insulting--that men need a woman to tell them how to be a man. And judging by the number of effeminate skinny jean wearing boys on campus, I suppose if a real man did step in to such a ridiculous position, it wouldn't be well received.

Some months ago I came across a Catholic 'man blog, I don't know how you would describe it; I guess it was like a forum or something. I found it pathetic. There were in depth reviews of various scotches, articles extolling beards, and discussion on smoking cigars. It was a caricature, the veneer of manhood (even then a kind of ridiculous one) without the soul. No doubt this was a well meaning effort to address the crisis of manhood that has been ushered in by feminism, but it was only the shell. Which begs the question then: what does it mean to be a man today?

Now I don't give a darn about beards, scotches, or cigars. But I am really serious about the transmission of the faith, and concerned it's not happening in the way it needs to in our culture to make an impact for future generations. There was an obscure Swedish study referenced in Touchstone that showed that the father attending religious services was the strongest indicator of whether or not the faith gets passed on down to the children.

So, men have to go to Mass. But if you ask most men, they are not comfortable there. I mean, they are there, which is good and necessary, but let's be honest...most Masses at most parishes in the U.S. are skewed towards women. Women dominate the parish ministries, the singing is emotive, many priests have a 'nurturing' quality to them, and it's just an overall feeling you get as a man like the one I had on the playground--I'm here, but there's something emasculating about this whole thing. It's a travesty, and I can't even necessarily blame men for not wanting to go to Mass. It's like a pill you swallow because you need to. Thank God for Jesus in the Eucharist at least.

Men share a common nature, but with various dispositions. I don't think there's should be one 'type' of man, a box to fit into. I certainly wouldn't. Feminism has thrust upon men things today our fathers and grandfathers never would have imagined doing. Yes, we cook, do laundry, help with kids and help around the house. But that's by necessity, mostly because for many men their wives are working and we are working and stuff just has to get done. I don't mind doing this stuff, sharing the load. After all, we are a team. Still, I'm not sure our current model is really good for men in the long run.

In many ways, the question of "how to be a man" has undergone the same fate as the question "what is marriage?" We are simply struggling to define in a clear and concise manner to young men today what it means to be a man.

Many men are alone and isolated. I used to think this was a problem needing addressing but I think it's just rather a fact worth recognizing. We need a good Confessor, and maybe one or two guys we can count on to get a beer with when needed. But support-groups, phone chats, etc...not so much. Maybe we (I) just need to buck up and recognize that we are on our own, and that's just how it is.

Men are not relational by nature. I do go to a men's bible study and find value in it, but sometimes I wonder if it's a little forced and awkward for some--the reflection, the talking and sharing. Objectively good things but maybe just not as natural for a man as for a woman.

I don't like to over complicate things, though. It doesn't deserve a dissertation or a forum to "discuss" it. Being a Christian man means two things: Duty and Sacrifice. Take that away from a man and you succeed in robbing him of the opportunity to earn that right.

So what does duty and sacrifice look like? Love your wives. Be faithful. Work hard. Protect your family. Be a provider to the best of your ability. Put your own needs aside. Serve and fight when needed. Mentor young men who don't have male figures in their lives. Die to yourself. Spend time on your knees in prayer, and don't invite sin into your household or your life. Stand up for the defenseless, make justice your sacrifice, and trust in the Lord (Ps 4:5).

Nothing wrong with beards, scotch, and cigars. Just make sure you're doing everything else as well. The passing on of the Faith depends on it.

Drawing The Line

"Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere." 

--G.K. Chesterton

I have a bit of an artsy streak in me...at least I did growing up. When I was in middle school my mom brought me home an Art History textbook from the community college where she worked. I poured over the pages, from the Renaissance to Modern Art, and many artists' names still stay in my mind as if it were yesterday: Andrew Wythe, Paul Klee, Manet, Monet, Van Gogh, DeKooning, Kathe Kollwitz, Jackson Pollock, Albrecht Durer, Dali, Toulouse-Lautrec, Michelangelo. Influenced by this early exposure to great art and artists through the ages, I set out to create, bypassing all rules and form and fast-forwarding straight to modernism. At the age of thirteen, I was convinced I had created a masterpiece. It was a contemporary piece titled "Bonjour": a blue dog on an aqua surfboard, wearing a beret. I implored my parents to take me to the Michener Art Museum in town tout suite so I could meet with the Curator and he could recognize my genius right away and we could decide where and when "Bonjour" would premiere.

Pablo Picasso had a quote attributed to him (accurate or not, I'm not sure) that went something like, "Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist." Under the tutelage of his father, he learned to paint as an academic realist and naturalist, but later in life began to experiment, moving into abstraction, earning the right.

Art (as a movement) is reactionary. It moves in phases and periods, reacting to what came before it. Same goes for literature. And poetry. And music. Politics. Social conventions. Religious practice, as well. It seems to apply to everything, this "swing of the pendulum."

Now, I am no art critic. At all. But I think there is something to be said for timelessness and beauty, something I appreciate as I get older. Post-modern art is lauded as revolutionary and bold, but I see it as kind of boring and stale, though I suppose a sign of its time. It depends on pushing pushing pushing the envelope, tearing down without rebuilding, and eventually the "anti-" character of the work results in blasphemous tripe such as "Piss Christ" and Statues of the Virgin Mary covered in feces.

Post-modernism has no place (and, I would argue, no tolerance) for dogma and doctrine, objective morality, natural law, and truth with a capital 'T.' Even the kind of anti-foundationalism found in some strings of liberal Christianity--those that deny the Resurrection, downplay the miracles of Jesus, etc--denies this kind of framework as important for holding up the "form" of faith, the way a skeleton gives shape to the body and protects internal organs from damage.

Now, there is some loose analagous overlap between the art world and the world of religion. I don't think 19th century Realism is "better" than the work of the Renaissance, or vice versa. Art is largely a matter of preference and individual taste (yet critically subject to more than just that), often a product of its time, and diverse.

So too with the life of prayer. I have an old yellowed copy of Jean Pierre de Caussade's "Abandonment to Divine Providence" in my library that I have been re-reading. It is one of my A-list books, a slim spiritual classic and an unpretentious and straightforward treatise on living what he calls the "sacrament of the present moment". It is not as lofty as the heavy-hitter St. John of the Cross's "Dark Night of the Soul" or Doctor of the Church St. Theresa of Avila's "The Interior Castle", but seeks a similar spirituality of abandonment of the will to God for common people (like myself).

Caussade had to be cautious when he penned this treaty, however, since one of his 17th century contemporaries--the Spanish priest Miguel de Molinos--was jailed for life for putting forth a similar popular contemplative work which was condemned as heretical, since it skirted the line with Quietism.

There is nothing heretical in "Abandonment to Divine Providence" (imprimatur and Nihil Obstat are in the cover of my 1975 edition), but engaging in and writing about the contemplative life is not for junior-varsity spiritualists; it is very easy to inadvertently stumble into heresy, much as like when speaking about and teaching on the mystery of the Trinity.

Molinos got into trouble when he touted contemplative prayer as the supreme mode of communion with the Divine. Cassaude does not make this mistake, recognizing that contemplative prayer has its place, as does mental prayer, devotions, etc, and one is not "better" than the other. At the heart of true prayer--prayer that is pleasing to the Father--is one that seeks to align itself with the will of God.

"If the business of becoming holy seems to present insufferable difficulties," he writes, "it is merely because we have a wrong idea about it. In reality holiness consists of one thing only; complete loyalty to God's will." He goes on, "to be actively loyal means obeying the laws of God and the Church and fulfilling all the duties imposed on us by our way of life."

Mary's fiat is the most unadorned and profound example of this simplicity in prayer.

"I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be done to me according to your Word." (Lk 1:38)

Mary's life was very ordinary, her character very simple. She heard, and she obeyed, even though she did not understand. She was Christ's first disciple.

Do we really have to make it anymore complicated than this? We live in a post-modern age of pain, confusion, and complication; a noisy society that seeks the novel and rejects the timeless, that has torn down a tower of reason to rubble and failed to build anything in its place. It is a steady diet of cereal...the frosted kind.

In contrast, the Church is an amazing gift in its diversity. There is a place for me, and a place for you. It attracts and gathers in the most profound intellectuals and the simplest most uneducated peasants under the same umbrella, and offers them both the opportunity to plumb to the deepest depths of reality. It allows the strictest realist and the most expressive Cubist creative license within its walls, providing an expansive and limitless canvas in which to live out their vocation. It is guaranteed from error, protected by the Holy Spirit, God Himself, and so offers assurance and rest, with infinite interior room to explore. The gift of grace, both sanctifying and sacramental, is available to all at no cost (except one's life). There is no caste system, no litmus test. Felons as well as Pharisees are invited to the banquet. It is one, it is holy, it is apostolic, and it is catholic--a true classical school of love as well as a hospital for the spiritually wounded.

The age of post-modernism is coming to its crisis close. It is a failed experiment and a sinking ship. It is spiritually impoverished and intellectually dishonest, and cares nothing whether you live or die.

If you're tired of feeling empty, of being hungry all the time, of living in confusion and angst and meaninglessness...drop your bags and come to the banquet. Drink from the well that never runs dry, and never thirst again. Come and see for yourself, for "eye has not seen and ear has not heard...what God has prepared for those who love Him." (1 Cor 2:9)

Another Way

"Do not worry over things that generate preoccupation and anxiety. One thing only is necessary: to lift up your spirit and love God." 

-St Padre Pio

I am very discerning and cautious about speaking about my faith at work. If I do so, it is somewhat clandestine because of where I work--an environment that is relatively hostile to orthodox religious belief. That being said, if given an opening in the right time and place, I try not to pass on the opportunity to speak about faith in Jesus Christ.

That happened this morning. The building was quiet, and not many people were in yet. A co-worker came over to chat, and she seemed upset. She was shaken, saying that a girl had just been shot up the road where my co-worker commutes on in a road-rage incident--a completely senseless and tragic act of violence over a traffic merge. She was 18, had just graduated from the local high school, shot in the head, and died.

"This world is just crazy," she anxiously said. "I just don't understand it. I'm just so fearful."

I knew where she was coming from. She has three teenage and 20-something kids, and it is a crazy world we live in. I knew she was Catholic, but I didn't know to what extent she believed really.

"That's awful," I said, "honestly my faith is the only thing that keeps me from going off the rails into worry and anxiety these days."

"What do you mean?" she replied, a bit taken aback.

"Well, you're right about the world. But thankfully as a Christian we are not living for life in this world--we're preparing for the next."

She looked at me with a little bit of deer-in-headlights stare.

"I mean we need to do what we can--to do good, and all that. I struggle with anxiety myself, so part of trusting in God's plan and having faith in Him is survival for me, because I think if this world was all there was it would break me. But it's not...there's more to life than what's going on here."

"I don't know how you do that," she said incredulously, and with a slight tone of flabbergasted disbelief.

"Well," I went on, "it helps me to trust that when God sends good into our life and God sends hardships and tragedy, it is all because He loves us, when we trust in Him as a loving Father. When we try to align our will with His--wanting only what He wants, doing only what He wants us to do--there's a kind of "peace that surpasses understanding" that the Bible talks about, that helps me survive and gives me an assurance. So that's what I try to do. Not easy, but I have peace despite the craziness in this world."

I didn't have time to go into the effects of Original Sin and the Fall and free will (haha, felt I was saying too much already!). I think my words shook her a little, like she was expecting commiseration and a kind of hopelessness and didn't know what to make of it. I felt a little foolish, but I'm getting used to that. I'd rather look foolish and have somebody come to see another way of living in the upside-down world--the Way that Jesus lays out for us--if it helps them, then stay quietly in my place.

If we don't have the assurance of God's presence and provision, forgiveness and grace, that He has the wheel and only asks us to trust Him...well, I can understand the worry and apprehension. I have lived with it all my life, but the world is almost so off the rails that to continue to do so would result in my imminent mental demise.

So I have to turn it over.

I remember doing this when our second child was born. Everything felt like too much, too heavy. And so I took a drive while Deb slept in the hospital bed and stood outside a Wawa smoking a cigarette and thinking and fretting. And I just said, "I can't." Lord, I can't, it's too much. Please, I entrust her to you. I trust you, please do it and help me do it too." And that was that.

I knew some people say faith and religion is a crutch. Meh. For me, as I may have said before, it's about survival, with a happy and surprising byproduct being...peace. A peace that surpasses understanding, and is available to all.

Evangelization doesn't have to be a dirty word. It can express itself in listening or genuine concern for another persons and their situation or well being. It can be doing something for them out of love and putting your own needs aside. And it can offer a kind of peace that the world doesn't offer, because it comes from God alone. It is speaking the Truth in love. Don't forget the love part. And do so "with gentleness and respect" (1 Peter 3:15). They are free, like everyone, to make choices. You never know, though....you might give someone another way.

Entertaining Angels Unaware

"Let all guests who arrive be received as Christ." (Rule of St. Benedict, Chap 53)

Last year we got involved with an organization called Hosts for Hospitals. I came across an announcement somewhere when the Holy Father was visiting Philadelphia for the World Meeting of Families. Out of town families who were receiving long-term medical care for things like prenatal abnormalities, cancer, etc at Philadelphia hospitals were having trouble find lodging. It is expensive to stay in a hotel for months on end, so this organization was founded to help families by pairing them with a local family for lodging. It is a secular organization founded by a man who was in that boat with cancer, and he wanted to help other families and, in turn, give others the opportunity to help a family in need.

The first people we hosted were a young couple from Scranton; the wife was pregnant but there were complications with the baby in utero, something with the heart. They stayed with us a week or so. Another couple that stayed with us had a son who was deformed and couldn't eat or hear. It was a real blessing to have them with us. We haven't hosted any families recently because things got crazy for a while, but we hope to in the near future.

My wife jokes that I am our 'social planner;' even though we are both introverts, I'm less so (she calls me an 'ambivert') and I enjoy having friends over for dinner, throwing parties, and entertaining. Maybe I got it from my mom, because she is such a gracious and kind host, genuinely loving and welcoming. I enjoy it, but it has also become an important part of our family's faith practice.

We struggle with time--having it and making it--in our family. Hosting families in this way has been a good opportunity to not have to 'go out and do something', but to rather take in and welcome Christ himself. I have a friend who is a great man and mentor, who is very busy with his four kids and job as a physician. A young man--a new Christian--approached my friend and wanted to learn from him. My friend said, "I don't have a whole lot of time to kind of set aside, but you are welcome to just hang with us." That time spent "just hanging" with his family, I think, was invaluable to this new Christian. He learned though osmosis and example, and my friend for his part didn't have to set aside extra time that he didn't have.

I witnessed this simple spirituality of welcoming Christ in the guest and stranger through the Benedictine practice of hospitality, as laid out in the Rule of St. Benedict, when visiting various monasteries. It is a very practical spirituality that anyone can do. I have also received such hospitality from strangers while traveling, and it is a true blessing. Dorothy Day practiced this as well in recognizing that one never knows when one might be entertaining angels unaware, as written in the letter to the Hebrews and making reference to Lot's welcoming of angels knocking on his door in Gen 19:1.

I also struggle a bit with understanding the divide in the church between those who emphasize service to the poor and marginalized but downplay the importance of doctrine and life issues vs those who do the reverse. Maybe it's just me, but I see them both as two lungs. It's kind of a false dichotomy, for I think it is plain that the corporal works of mercy and the spiritual works of mercy are both required. It doesn't make one a heretic to do both.

St. John Chrysostom said that the rich exist for the sake of the poor, and the poor exist for the sake of the rich. Those who have been blessed financially receive great blessing in ministering to Christ in the poor and those in need. Those who are poor financially offer a simplicity of heart, sometimes a challenge or hardship, and also the opportunity to practice and be a blessing. It is a 'ministry of encounter' for us, and teaches us not to judge others and their situations outright but rather break bread together and serve. God is so good.

God calls us all to serve with joyful hearts in the ways in which we are able. It may just be a smile which is what you are able to offer. The size or duration is not important, and it will look different for everyone. Small acts with great love, as St. Mother Teresa said. For us, witnessing in this way works, and it is a true blessing for us to serve Christ dinner, make His bed for the night, give Him a key into our home and our hearts. Our children learn by osmosis what it looks like to welcome Christ and hopefully they will do it in their own little way with their little friends as well as they get older. If you're short on time, sometimes just doing it, just "hanging out", is the best way to teach and learn.

He Opened Not His Mouth

When I worked in the inner-city, I would take the neighborhood boys camping for a week in the summer, to escape the heat and noise and violence of our Allison Hill section of Harrisburg.

The boys were used to shootings and street deals and non-stop noise of the city...but the quiet stillness of the woods freaked them out, big time. They were not used to it. They had trouble sleeping. This was before smartphones and all that, so their distractions were minimal. I think they were ultimately glad to get back to the hood where we all lived.

I'd like to read Cardinal Robert Sarah's new book, The Power of Silence: Against the Dictatorship of Noise, because silence has been on my mind lately. The book was fittingly recorded from conversations between Cardinal Sarah and Nicholas Diat at La Grande Chartreuse, the Carthusian monastery near Grenoble, France, where Into Great Silence was filmed (please do yourself a favor and rent this powerful, artful and moving film if you get the chance.

Silence is multi-faceted:

• It can be used as a weapon--one "silences" the opposition. You see this with identity politics, shutting down conversations.
• It can be indicative of a kind of moral cowardice, when we "remain silent" when faced with injustice, when we are called to speak out to defend innocent men.
• It can indicate an reflectiveness that does not betray one's innermost thoughts, as "the mouths of fools are their undoing" (Prov 18:17)
• It can look like "pleading the 5th" in the Constitutional sense when one refuses to incriminate oneself before a jury by remaining silent.
• It often holds the key to hearing God's voice which often comes not in earthquakes and fire, but in a whisper (1 Kings 19:12)

Take Jesus before Pilate:

"Now Herod was very glad when he saw Jesus; for he had wanted to see Him for a long time, because he had been hearing about Him and was hoping to see some sign performed by Him. And he questioned him at some length; but He answered him nothing.
And the chief priests and the scribes were standing there, accusing Him vehemently. And Herod with his soldiers, after treating Him with contempt and mocking Him, dressed Him in a gorgeous robe and send Him back to Pilate. Now Herod and Pilate became friends with one another that very day; for before they had been enemies with each other." (Lk 23:18)

This is a very telling scene that I have been reflecting on. Herod was a fool, and regarded Jesus as a source of entertainment. It is written in scripture, "do not speak to fools, for they will scorn your prudent words." (Prov 23:9). Later before Pilate, Jesus is again accused and stands before the chief priests silent, and Pilate "is amazed". (Mk 15:5).

Jesus is a man who knows his power. He knows his innocence, and he knows who He is. When he speaks, every word is imbued with power. When pressed by the High Priest point blank, "Are you the Messiah?" he replies.

"I AM. And you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven." (14:62)

Should you ever stand accused, remember that "it is better to suffer, should it be God's will, for doing good than doing evil." (1 Peter 3:17) Jesus gives the truest example of the Suffering Servant, as prophesied in the book of Isaiah:

"He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet he did not open His mouth;
like a lamb that is led to slaughter, and like a sheep that is silent before its shearers,
So He did not open His mouth.
Because he had done no violence,
Nor was there any deceit in His mouth.
But the LORD was pleased to crush Him, putting Him to grief
If he would render Himself as a guilt offering,
He will see His offspring, He will prolong His days,
And the good pleasure of the LORD will prosper in His hand." (53:7-8,10)

Let your silence be power, and when called to speak, speak with power by the Holy Spirit. "Be strong and courageous! Be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed!" (Joshua 1:9)

Christian Non-Binary

When I was studying Buddhism in high school, the life of Gautama impressed me.

He was a prince who had everything and was not happy, not satisfied, still suffering despite the attempt of his parents to keep him sheltered from that which would cause discomfort. After sneaking out into the world and encountering an old man, a sick man, and a corpse, he swung to the opposite end of the pendulum--extreme self-denial. His rigorous asceticism and fasting left him emaciated but not enlightened, still subject to suffering. Finally he vows to sit until he figures it out and after attaining enlightenment through a 'Middle Way' between the extremes.

The reason I mention this is not to compare religions or try to reconcile or synthesize radically different worldviews, but to rather point out that the idea of a "middle way" in Christianity does not square with the call to Christ, for "Whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in Heaven." (Mt 10:33). Despite that fact, I see a strong temptation to chart such a  middle road between Calvary and Jerusalem in our contemporary culture, a road that ultimately leads nowhere, as is written "there is a pathway that seems right to a man, but in the end it is a road to death." (Prov 14:12).

What does a "middle way" look like in a post-Christian culture? Though I'm not endorsing these novels/films (Mother Angelica called The Last Temptation of Christ "a blasphemous film that has the power to destroy souls eternally", and Endo's Silence, while nuanced, was troubling to many Christians, and not well-received by descendants of the Japanese martyrs themselves), and also do not want to do a full on synopsis, I do use them to illustrate just exactly the kind of nefarious and subtle temptation we face as Christians today:

The first is Shusaku Endo's Silence, a historical novel. The scene in question involves Fr. Rodrigues, a Jesuit missionary captured and forced to apostatize by the authorities by trampling on a fumi-e, a an icon of Jesus or Mary. He has a very clear choice here, but with a complicated twist (temptation): he can refuse to renounce his faith and be tortured and killed; or he can trample, marry, and live a comfortable life (another missionary, Fr. Ferreira, did just that). The temptation for Rodrigues is that his people, the Japanese Christians, are being tortured for their faith and if only Rodrigues will trample, they will let them go and end the torture against them. A noble motive. In what seems to be an act of selflessness, Rodrigues supposedly sacrifices his faith and apostasizes, trampling the fumi-e, to save the Christians from torture.

In Nikos Kazantzakis' controversial The Last Temptation of Christ there is a scene when Jesus is tempted to get down from the cross by Satan in like manner--in a "you would do more good alive than dead". He gets down, goes on to marry Magdalene, and lives out a life in the world of men. It all ends up being a dream-like temptation in the film, but the message is clear: you don't have to do this, there is another way and this is it.

I do not think either of these novels/films should be used as a model for faith, especially for new Christians. But they do back-handedly lend insight into the temptation many of us face in our walk of faith, the whisper of the serpent in the Garden: "Did God really say?..."

I think some Christians today are trying to make this 'middle way' of compromise and reconciliation with the world. It is a kind of what I would call a 'practical apostasy':

"If you would tone down your rhetoric," it goes, "you would attract more people rather than drive them away."
"If the church only changed a,b,c teaching, I would definitely join."
"I don't think Christ really calls us to x,y,z. Jesus did not want us to live a life of unhappiness."

Now, Christianity is absolutely reasonable in its doctrine and theology; that is, the tenants of Christianity are in accordance with reason and Natural Law. But the demands of Christian discipleship are another story. We don't want to hate our mother, leave our dead father to bury himself, be estranged from our siblings. "I have become estranged from my brothers, and an alien to my mother's sons. For zeal for your house has consumed me and the reproaches of those who reproach You have fallen on me." (Ps 69:8-9). So it is understandable that we would seek to make concessions.

Christ puts us in an impossible situation, does he not? We either follow him, "baptized into his death," (Rom 6:3), or like the rich young man, we "go away sad," (Mt 19:22; Mk 10:22; Lk 18:23) when we are unable to unsaddle ourselves from what weighs us down to follow Him, unwilling to pay the cost for a 'yes', an assent, when it puts us at odds with the world. The world knows Him not, as St. John says, because it neither sees Him nor accepts Him (Jn 14:17). There really is no middle way when faced with assent or apostasy, and no place for compromise or assimilation (see 2 Chron 20 to see the seeds of compromise in the life of King Jehoshaphat), though the temptation in a post-modern world is strong. There is only life and death. There is no middle way, for a middle way seeks to retain what is in the world. "If the love of the world is in you, the love of the Father is not." (1 Jn 2:15). There is only the Way (Jn 14:6).

When you start to follow Jesus, not on a complicated middle self-made path, but on the one He lays out that leads to life and costs, there is a weird tension--there is deep joy and suffering co-existing. The early apostles "rejoiced" after leaving the Sanhedrin, that "God had counted them worthy to suffer disgrace for the Name" (Acts 5:41). Who in their right mind rejoices at facing derision and humiliation in the world? Those who have been filled with the Holy Spirit and know that they are not living for this world. They gladly forsake a home here for the many mansions prepared for them in Heaven (Jn 14:2).

Those who follow Jesus to His death know that there are only two paths, and that compromise with the world only seeks to make lukewarm people (Rev 3:16), salt that has lost its saltiness, good for nothing, not even the dungheap (Mt 5:13), and accomplishes Satan's work. Let the words of St Faustina reassure you--there is no middle way:

"One day, I saw two roads. One was broad, covered with sand and flowers, full of joy, music and all sorts of pleasures. People walked along it, dancing and enjoying themselves. They reached the end without realizing it. And at the end of the road there was a horrible precipice; that is, the abyss of hell. The souls fell blindly into it; as they walked, so they fell. And their number was so great that it was impossible to count them.
And I saw the other road, or rather, a path, for it was narrow and strewn with thorns and rocks; and the people who walked along it had tears in their eyes, and all kinds of suffering befell them. Some fell down upon the rocks, but stood up immediately and went on. At the end of the road there was a magnificent garden filled with all sorts of happiness, and all these souls entered there. At the very first instant they forgot all their suffering." (Diary, 153)

A Web Darkly

A couple nights ago I came across and read a two-part article in WIRED about the rise and fall of Silk Road and it's founder, Ross Ulbricht. It is a dark and harrowing account of how a mild-mannered engineering student in his late twenties created a one billion dollar a year underground online empire for the sale of illegal drugs, crime, and black market contraband.

But it started innocently enough. Ulbricht's strong libertarian ideals motivated him; it was never really about the money (Ulbricht was pretty frugal, living with roommates in San Francisco), but the movement. Free choice and liberty without interference was everything, and a noble vision--keep people from resorting to risking their lives buying contraband on the street. Silk Road was in many ways the epitome of a frictionless marketplace where people could be free to do as they liked, "as long as it didn't impinge on anyone else's freedom."

Ulbricht made it clear that was not an entirely free-reign cornucopia of anarchy. He wrote the rules, central being to "treat others as you would wish to be treated." But like so many revolutionaries before him, the idealist became an ideologue, and his lack of a moral compass and the blurring lines between the online world and that of reality made rationalizing the need to put murder-hits-for-hire out on competitors easier.

A couple things struck me reading this incredible and disturbing account.

One, his family and friends maintained his innocence. "Ross is such a nice guy," they said, "he wanted to make the world a better place." He was an Eagle Scout, mild mannered and sensitive. "Ross is a hero!" one sympathizer at his trial yelled. Institutions and government were the problem, which is why he was "creating an economic simulation to give people a firsthand experience of what it would be like to live in a world without the systematic use of force."

Two, the rise and fall was astonishing for how fast it took place and how fast things started to get out of control, the spotlight it shown on the elusive and sinister "dark web", and how much money it generated. But the story was also boringly predictable. Like Che Guevara or other brutal revolutionaries, his youthful ideology divorced from objective morality laid the groundwork for the ends justifying the means. He thought the revolution and overthrow was just around the corner, and that rules and laws didn't apply to him. Now he's in prison serving a life sentence.

Third, money is a powerful force. One of the undercover agents himself was indicted on charges of theft and money laundering, despite having re-committed his life to Christ prior to getting on the case. "How easy it is to forget the solidity and consequences of the real world when you live online."

Finally, I shared a lot of traits with this young man. We're close to the same age. Same kind of background and upbringing, both Penn State grads. Fueled by idealism, taking things to extremes, and a desire to see change in the world. Reading the account was like watching "Into the Wild," about Chris McCandless' life and death in the Alaskan frontier, fueled by the same purist idealism. I cried in the movie in the last scene, when he is starving to death in the bus, emaciated and covered in diarrhea, because I saw in it my own death, a death that could have been mine.

Honestly, some days I think I am a Christian for no other reason than it is an anchor that keeps me from going off the deep end (some of my friends might argue its too late for that, lol) like these young idealists. A kind of beach grass in the dune, the roots of which keep the sand, my life, from eroding away. It's about survival. Of course its more than that too, but when you are susceptible to being swallowed up by your own personal dark web, you learn to hold fast to what keeps you afloat, even if it means being seen as somewhat rigid or somewhat uncompromising. I don't pray or go to church because I'm some Ned Flanders kind of guy--I pray so that, as Christ said, I might not undergo the test (Mt 26:41).

We all have our dark webs of the heart, the places we go to indulge in what we see as a harmless and frictionless libertine marketplace of sin and licentiousness. When one is bereft of a moral compass, ideology can take a dangerous turn. And when you have plumbed the depths of your own sinfulness--despite your loving parents or your nice suburban upbringing or your Eagle Scout badges--in places so dark that there's in perceptible way out, and you know your potential for destruction despite being "such a nice guy" or "wanting to make the world a better place," light and order look pretty good, something worth holding to when you finally are pulled to the surface by a benevolent hand. If only we knew who was fighting for our soul, and how cunningly he tries to slip it from us...well, you would hold on tight too.