"Obedience," he replied without hesitation. This was around the time he was being transferred to a new assignment where he was needed by his abbot after years of serving at our university.
I think we go through seasons where we struggle with one thing more than another in our spiritual lives. Like most men during my twenties, chastity was a huge struggle (6th Commandment). At other times, keeping God first was the challenge itself (1st Commandment).
At this season in my life, the 4th Commandment in the Decalogue--to honor your father and mother (Dt 5:16; Ex 20:12)--seems to be one that comes up again and again.
When we are young, this commandment is usually invoked by our parents or adult authorities in our life so that we submit and obey. If we talk back to our parents, we are breaking the commandment. If we don't listen and sneak out of our rooms when grounded, we are breaking the commandment. As an adult now, however, it takes on a different form.
I owe my parents a lot, and when I really look back at all they have done for me growing up, I can never really repay them. They are getting to a place in their life when they need help with things--help that I am able to provide in many cases. They just moved to a new area and my dad is calling on me for a number of things.
My first reaction is one of resistance, reverting to an adolescent mindset. "I have my own stuff to do," I think. But then I remember the Commandment, and it becomes clear that helping my parents--whether it's moving furniture, picking up mail while they are away, or hosting them and cooking them dinner while their kitchen is being renovated--is in fact, serving the Lord and being faithful.
It can be a real challenge to my self-centeredness sometimes, and it's only bound to get more demanding as they get older. But it is clear that in not doing so I am not honoring them and, by extension, not honoring God. My parents are respectful. They recognize I have my own life, have left them to cling to my wife (Gen 2:24). They don't demand obedience or lay guilt trips. Honoring parents is, interestingly, the only passage in scripture that promises long life as a reward.
My parents are pretty easy. I'm just super selfish, which makes it seem hard to honor them when these kinds of demands come up. But it's a good learning process of submitting to authority in an adult (rather than adolescent) capacity. No one knows you better, so it can be hard to find your footing sometimes. As the saying goes, "if you think you are enlightened, spend a weekend with your parents."
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