In The Age of Social Media, Don't Lose Your Reward

One of my current struggles in the life of faith is to know when to speak, and when to keep silent (Ecc 3:7); when to put one's light on a lampstand (Mt 5:15), and when to close the door to my room and remain cloaked in the dark night (Mt 6:6). This is compounded by the almost addictive habit of using social media to make things, both public and private, known to the world.

For example, I often share about my day-to-day life with my wife--our foibles and arguments and quirky interactions--on Facebook. I do it all in good fun, with part of it as a kind of informal marriage ministry to serve as a witness and testament to what God has done in our lives as a couple. He is the reason we have a healthy marriage because He has set parameters for us in love, a manual, for what Christian marriage is all about. And because I have experienced such joy and stability in my life as a man as a result, I want to share that joy with others, to those who may not have had a good model of marriage in their own lives growing up.

While I try to be respectful and mindful of finding that balance (and 99% of the time clear with my wife before I post anything), sometimes I veer too far into exhibitionism--a tendency I am prone to, one born out of self-absorption and vanity. These are the kinds of 'hidden sins' we forget about in contrast to the harder-edged and more obvious offenses against chastity, modesty, and temperance. It is times like this that I find social media to be an almost-near occasion of sin. Why? Because some things are best left hidden, between you and your God.

In the sixth chapter of Matthew's gospel, Jesus is giving his exhortations against making show of one's piety in the 'three pillars' of almsgiving, prayer, and fasting.

After each exhortation, he admonishes his followers to do these things in secret, to not make a show of it, so that the Father "who sees what is done in secret" may reward us.

“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." (Mt 6:1-4)

For the Pharisees, the synagogues and street corners they march out to provide the public arena for them to make their good works known. And what does Jesus say? "They have received their reward in full." (Mt 6:5) It's an instant kind of gratification, a kind of humble-bragging that merits a few moments of recognition in their everyday life among their peers, but which soon fades into distant memory.

Sound familiar? It does to me.

It's easy to rationalize the exhibition of our good works in faith for the purpose of "displaying a meritorious example" or "showing others what true citizenship looks like," whether by a news interview, a Facebook video, or a selfie with a homeless man. For the Christian, however, there is an acute danger of forfeiting God's reward upon delivery of such public esteem; as soon as you make it public, it evaporates into thin air.

There is a kind of emptiness in human flattery and praise, and we are all tempted by it. When celebrities can't stay out of the spotlight, or philanthropists make sure the PR team is out to document their recent check-cutting, this worldliness becomes apparent. But the great saints, who know how God's economy works, recoil at the thought of their deeds being spotlighted, almost taking offense at it, unless it were for God's purposes and He desires to use it for His glory. Otherwise, many holy people are content to simply do good in obscurity, day in and day out, tirelessly and forfeiting claims to anything in this life, so hungry they are for the rewards of the Eternal.

I was acutely reminded of this recently in dealing with a pernicious temptation towards public exhibitionism with regard to something that should be kept in secret. Whereas I used to struggle mightily and frequently with resisting against sins of chastity in my twenties, struggles with pride and vanity have stepped in in my thirties to take their place. I tend to regard social media as a tool to learn and share, but it is not without temptation and near occasions of exhibitionist sin, and sins against charity. That's why a fast is good practice from time to time; hard, but necessary.

The 'Like Culture' we live in is self-reinforcing. It feels good to be acknowledged and affirmed, buyoyed and congratulated. My prayer these days echoes David's in Psalm 139: "Search me, God, and know my heart. Test me, and know my thoughts!" (Ps 139:23). The daily readings from the book of Wisdom on this topic have been timely in this regard.

So, the next time you do some good as a result of your faith and want to post about it (if you're anything like me), recall Jesus' command to keep it hidden, for His eyes only. "Watch yourselves, that you do not lose what we have accomplished, but that you may receive a full reward." (2 Jn 1:8)

For no earthly recompense can compare to what God has prepared for those who love Him! (1 Cor 2:9)