Day 8: In The Middle Of The Night

I was moved when I read recently about the relationship of St. John Paul II with his father, Karol Wojtyla Sr. It was said that

"Prayer was a contant in their lives; the Captain prayed often during the day...the two read the Bible and prayed the rosary together. Sometimes the young boy would wake in the night and see his father kneeling in the dark, praying silently."

This image is so striking, so humbling. This young boy who would become a great man of God had a model of prayer and faith in his very own family from an early age. Think about it...the young Karol Wojtyla walked in on his father praying. He caught him praying...in the middle of the night! I imagine this event burned a memory into his brain, so that when he thought, 'what is prayer?' he thought of his father.

I have written recently that the most indicative factor in passing along the faith from one generation to the next is the father's church attendance. But changing generational models from unbelief to belief must go beyond a one-day-a-week affair--it must permeate the lives of those who model. Our children are always watching us. We can't live one way as fathers--whether it's being neglectful in prayer, reading the bible, grace before meals, looking at pornography on our phones, yelling, not treating our wives with love and respect--and expect to teach our children to do the opposite. WE have to be the models for the saints we wish for them to become. Kids can sniff out hypocrisy from a mile a way.

When I think about Karol Wojtyla Sr. at his bedside in the model of the night, I suspect he was not doing it for show, or expecting anyone to walk in and see him on his knees like that. But these are the kinds of images that get burned into children's minds that they remember years down the road. It is a memory worthy of being remembered.

As men and fathers, we are responsible for the spiritual trajectory of our households. We will be judged on it. What you do in secret will eventually come to light. Don't view anything on the computer you wouldn't want your kids to see. When you are embarrassed of the faith and don't defend it, that sends a message to your children. When you prioritize things other than God and His Holy Day on the Sabbath, whether it be sports or activities or vacations, kids take notice. They think to themselves, "this isn't really important, we don't have to do this" and their lives conform to such practice. We need to normalize faith in our lives, so that it is not some queer anomaly or pious activity reserved for an hour a week on Sundays.

Satan hates the family. He works to infiltrate and destroy it from within. So susceptible are we to having our families being attacked that we must constantly cling to Christ and his Mother to protect our families. And the best way to do this is through prayer...making sure our own personal foundation of prayer is strong, strengthening it with our spouse, and then bringing our children into it.

Please, Lord, protect my children. Help me to raise them up as men and women of the Living Lord as models of faith and charity. If your will is to take them from us, take them to Heaven. If your will is to take us from them, take us to Heaven. Help us as a family to be a light to the world, a city on a hill, and not let us fall into darkness or disfunction. Strengthen our marriage, and help us to love one another so we might show our children what love looks like. They are only young once, and we don't get second chances to make impressions.

"Very early in the morning, while is was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." 

(Mk 2:35)

Day 7: Falling On The Sword

When I was quitting my 20 year habit of using nicotine eight months ago, one thing that was a game changer--in addition to an accountability partner, having a game plan for quitting, and God's grace--was the recognition that the only one who could make me smoke...was me. No one was holding a gun to my head. No one was duct taping my limbs to a chair and popping cigarettes into my mouth and lighting them against my will. The only sure fire way to quit was to NOT SMOKE.

It was a fascinating psychological experiment on habit and the will. I may have been physically and psychologically addicted to nicotine, but I still had the capacity to choose to use it, hard as it was not to. If you caught me on hidden camera, it may have felt like someone had a gun to my back forcing me in the car at 1 in the morning to go to Wawa, coercing me in to going outside and smoking, or convincing me that stopping was not possible. But on tape, you would have seen that the only one in the picture...was me.

St Catherine of Siena has an amazing treatise on the will that I came across recently. She says,

"Only the will can commit a crime; neither devils nor any other being can force it to commit the smallest sin if it is not willing. Therefore the sinful will which submits to the temptations of the enemy is a sword which kills the soul when it is offered to the enemy by the hand of free will. Which is more cruel, the enemy or the person who is wounded? We are the more cruel, for we agree to our own death." 

This is why baptism is such an amazing grace, and why it is necessary for salvation.  Aside from welcoming us into God's family, and washing away sins and removing the temporal punishment due to sin, baptism literally breaks the chains that bind us due to Original Sin. It gives us the capacity to avoid sin, for as St. John Paul II wrote in Veritatis Splendor:

"Keeping God's law in particular situations can be difficult, extremely difficult, but it is never impossible....it is anathema [to say] that the commandments of God are impossible of observation by one who is justified. Man always has before him the spiritual horizon of hope, thanks to the help of divine grace and with the cooperation of human freedom. If redeemed man still sins, this is not due to an imperfection of Christ's redemptive act, but to man's will not to avail himself of the grace which flows from that act." 

The Devil convinces us he has more power over us than he actually does. Christ has him bound. He is a dog on a leash, albeit a dangerous, rabid one. And yet, every time we sin, we hand over our freedom to him. He doesn't even have to work for it sometimes, we just hand it to him. And what do we get in exchange? Death.

Gangstas talk about The Game, and how it's so hard to quit. The Game plays out on The Streets. Gangstas are well aware that they can get popped at any moment. They are aware of the dangers. But the lure of money and prestige is sometimes too great a lure. It's hard to get out, and even if you do manage to get out, some days you wish you were back in.

Our white-washed sinful lives may be more sanitized, but the stakes are no less deadly. It's hard to quit the sin game...the roots that we have laid run deep, the eggs we let hatch are countless.

And yet, when we repent and confess our sins, God washes it all away in one fell swoop by his blood. We have every grace we need by virtue of our baptism to resist sin in the future and not let it make a home in us. God calls us to hard things, but not impossible things. We can start anew. We can start NOW. We don't need complicated spiritual formulas or complex strategies or professional counselors for avoiding sin. We just need to call for help in times of temptation, will the one thing, and be willing to suffer when our flesh chaffs up against our spirit. We can be made new. Today.

"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

(Mt 11:30)

Day 6: Give Recklessly

Of the three Pillars of Lent--fasting, prayer, and almsgiving--I'd wager that the one living in the shadows that is most neglected is almsgiving. We are expected to fast on certain days like Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, as well as observe the prescribed days of abstinence (no meat) on Fridays. We are of course called to deepen our prayer life, maybe with daily mass or spiritual reading.

But giving? What does this look like? How much?? We have no problem with someone telling us when and how to fast, what amount to eat, or ways we can increase our time in prayer. But when someone urges us to open our pocket books or wallets as a matter of seasonal obligation, well, we bristle a bit don't we? No-one likes to be compelled into giving. After all, we have so many bills and payments to make, we might at most be able to put an extra fiver in the collection plate or the CRS rice bowl. And even that we mete out grudgingly.

And yet, God's economy does not work the way we think it should. God does not mete out mercy, but fills cups to overflowing (Ps 23:5).

He does not ration out a few bottles of mid-grade wine, but transforms 120-180 GALLONS of water into the finest of choice wines at a wedding in which they had run out, enough for everyone to drink their fill for days and days.

He praises the seemingly irresponsible act of a widow putting in her last penny to the temple box, the money she was supposed to use to live on (Lk 20:45-21:4)

In 1 Kings 17, a hungry Elijah comes to a widow who is literally only has enough for her last meal "that we may make it--and die" (v. 12) and encourages her to trust God and make him a cake with the last of the flour and oil. She does so, and the jar of flour and oil miraculously did not run dry (v 16).

In John 6, the people following Jesus are hungry, and Jesus multiplies a few meager loaves and fishes to feed 5,000, with everyone having their fill, and with twelve baskets left over (Jn 6:1-15)


I'll never forget watching a sermon of the pastor Francis Chan on Youtube titled, "Lukewarm, and Loving It."  Now, Francis Chan is a pretty extreme guy. He takes the Gospel message literally, trusts in Providence to provide, and lives very modestly with his large family despite making millions of dollars on his books. Other pastors are a little bit wary of his way of following the gospel. But I love it, because it is from the heart and even a little crazy.

In his sermon, he is relating the story of Zacchaeus the chief tax collector in Luke 19, "this little Danny DeVito type guy that jumps out of a tree yelling 'Take my money! I don't care! Because JESUS HAS INVITED ME INTO HIS HOUSE! I don't care about money because I'VE. GOT. GOD.' "Today," Jesus says, "Salvation has come to this house." (Lk 19:9)

(Have a look, it is from about minute 10 to minute 14):

When I saw this clip a few years ago, it was really culture shock but the message stayed with me--God wants us to give everything, cheerfully and generously and--dare I say--recklessly. I've always prided myself on being responsible and prudent with money. I'm a planner and budgeter by nature. I wasn't taught to give to the poor growing up--that's what taxes and government programs and charities were for. It seemed totally irresponsible to give the way Francis Chan was advocating through the example of this rich guy Zacchaeus, with such recklessness.

And yet, tonight, I did just that. I'm reluctant to write about it because we are encouraged to "not let our left hand know what our right hand is doing" when we give. I wish I could tell someone else's story rather than my own, but this is what I have to work with. I don't like making a show of things like this, and it's not the first time we have done it, but I'm going to write about it because I thought it was so cool that God gave us the opportunity to give at that precise moment. Here's the story:

I was scrolling through Facebook and came across a post by a friend of a friend whom I don't know, a homeschooling mom whose husband had lost his job and whose car had just broken down. She was upset that they didn't have money to repair the car, and they didn't know what they were going to do.  Many people were offering advice and condolences, encouraging her to pray this or that novena, asking it might be the battery, etc.

Before I could think about it or scroll through, I was sending her a message asking her address so I could send a check for a not-so-small amount to cover the cost of repairs. I did it before I could think about it or second-guess myself. I felt God was giving me a simple opportunity, and I didn't want it to pass by. I don't even know this woman. It was impulsive and kind of reckless, but I really did feel like God was providing an opportunity to practice 'generous sowing,' as Paul writes about in 2 Corinthians:

"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work...you will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God." (2 Cor 9:6-11)

He goes on,

"This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!" (12-15)

I haven't heard back from the woman yet--I hope I do, and that she will oblige, but it's not really important, ultimately. What I praise God for is the opportunity, to cultivate and practice a spirit of generosity--an opportunity which is all around us, everywhere. You learn by doing. Even then, we are a far cry from giving from our need rather than our abundance, like the widow, but you have to start somewhere. All we have is a gift from God, and we can't take it with us when we die (Lk 12:20).

You don't have to look far for opportunities to give. Don't over think it. Don't weigh it out, cost-benefit style. Just give. Give til it hurts, in the way it hurts when you fast. When we think too much we get hung up and short-circuit the gentle whisper of the Spirit. You may be surprised by how God blesses you in return.

Thanks be to God, whose love is everlasting!

"A generous man will himself be blessed." 

(Prov 22:9)

Day 5: K.I.S.S.

Yesterday a friend of mine on Facebook posted something about being sad that many Catholic bloggers and lay apologists who were converts and models of a zealous faith had recently gone off the rails of orthodoxy and had either left the faith, were living or advocating practices contrary to church teaching, or had simply lost their way.

It seems almost inherent in the life of a convert--after the initial elation of conversion, they have gained an audience but lost steam, and struggle--publicly or privately--with either some theological teaching (if they are intellectually inclined) or some personal life issue that causes them to doubt and/or adjust their outlook or beliefs. The problem, my friend alluded to, was that many of these figures have people that read what they write and give it weight, and so the potential for leading people astray into false teaching. If you are a national writer with influence, you bear responsibility for your words, and would be naive to think people aren't listening to you. That, and it is also a cause for sorrow when anyone who was once faithful strays from the true faith into a self-made caricature of belief.

I am not much of a writer nor do I have any major influence outside of my circle of friends, but the thought of putting anything out there that has the potential to lead people astray or lead to heretical belief is terrifying to me. The words of Jesus in Mark 9:42 give stern warning, that "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea."

So, I intentionally shy away from writing about anything beyond basic theology, and prefer instead to just relate stories and anecdotes, with an occasional extrapolation on a particular teaching of the church as it relates to my personal life of faith. I hope it's enjoyable, provides something to read and think about, and maybe sparks some curiosity.

But I am a convert myself, about twenty years in now, and so my friend's post hit a sensitive nerve for me. What if I hit a point in my life in which I go the same route? What's to keep me from doing so? What if I start writing heresy and not even realize it, or abandon church teaching because of some crisis of faith in my life?

It is not a unique problem. Early Church fathers and theologians like Tertullian and Origen were the 3rd century equivalent of those my friend was referring to in her post. Orthodox at one point, brilliant writers and minds, but at some point they went off the rails into heterodoxy. They never did attain sainthood, and so while their complex theological writing is quoted by other Fathers, it is also suspect. There is a place for complex, cutting-edge theology, but more often than not I shy away from it, especially if it is novel or esoteric for novelty's sake, since the spiritual benefits are not outweighed by the dangers of getting it wrong. I try to K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Silly) when writing about faith or theology, and leave the Big Thinkin' to the saints and doctors of the Church who have been vetted (Aquinas, Catherine of Siena, Alphonsus Liguori, etc).

A model for me at this point in my life are saints like Juan Diego, the Mexican peasant who encountered the Virgin of Guadalupe, and the three children of Fatima. They were not trained theologians, no lofty beliefs, just simple people who believed and obeyed God and lived good lives. They were not trying to make names for themselves or cultivate audiences, but lived in humility and delivered the messages they were entrusted with faithfully and to a 'T.' I have to believe such simple faithfulness is rewarded and pleases God. When we get into complex and potentially esoteric theology about the nature of God, we are outside the fence, so to speak, and thus make ourselves vulnerable to error with carries the weight of eternal consequences. Better to believe, pray, listen, and obey, than to speculate and pontificate and formulate when it holds the potential to go off the rails.

Please pray for me, friends, then I might be a simple story teller, a simple man, a simple Christian, a simple servant.

"So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty." 

(Lk 17:10)

Day 4: Train 'Em Up

Saturday mornings my wife and I usually split duties--she takes our daughter to dance lessons, while I take our our son to karate. We're trying to find that balance of not having the kids be over-involved with activities, while also not being at home all the time watching TV or lounging around. Generally, Saturday mornings are a nice time to have some one-on-one time with the kids individually.

Today we switched it up a bit and I spent the morning with my daughter. We went out on a little "date" to Cosi while her brother was at a birthday party. We got hot chocolate and something to eat. Spending time with her is a real joy. I hope to continue with daddy-daughter dates as she gets older. Spending intentional time together is vital, I think; there is no substitute for it, and I'm blessed to have the opportunity to do so.

When my wife experienced a 're-verision' to the faith, she would go to a coffee shop and read her Bible. Family and friends would try to get her to come over and do stuff, and she would say, "I'm on a date with God."  The time was important in her formation, just spending time soaking in the Lord and just being together in love.

Being a father to a son and being a father to a daughter are two unique opportunities. Boys learn from their fathers what it means to be a man and the skills that a dad is uniquely qualified to transmit to them. Girls learn from their fathers what love looks like and how a man is to treat a woman. They should feel protected and special, and have full confidence that they are loved.

I am convinced that 90% of our social problems in this country can be attributed to the lack of fathers present in the lives of children, as well as the decline in in-tact stable marriages and healthy family units. Families are the building blocks of a society--when they are weak, the society is unstable. When fathers are absent, someone must fill the role--sometimes this is gangs for young men, sometimes the government assumes more responsibility than it should, sometimes it is a boyfriend or an uncle. But really, there is no substitute for a father. Ask anyone who never had one. There is a wound that never really heals.

When I teach my 5th grade CCD class, much of what I teach in terms of faith and morals is undone when the children do not go to Mass on Sundays. Parents should be the primary educators of their children when it comes to faith and morals, and it is the parents responsibility to take them to worship every Sunday (not once a month, not just on Christmas and Easter) and model the faith for them at home, but in practice this just does not happen, and I don't understand it. I don't know if they think CCD 'counts' for 'getting their religion' and Mass is something optional, or if it simply is not a priority. In any case, I am starting to realize that much of what I teach and try to relay to the children does not 'stick' because there is no model for it at home. It is like having the thermostat set at 80 degrees in the winter with the windows open. I am a poor substitute for a parent, what with my one hour a week with them.

My dad was an active, involved dad, who loved us unconditionally, sacrificed for us, and taught us things that no one else could teach us. I am eternally grateful for that, and that he and my mom stayed married through some tough times, so that we had a stable model of how to build a marriage when we got older. 

He was also a model for me of our Heavenly Father's love. The story of the prodigal son in Luke 15 is one of my favorite stories in all the bible, because I was a prodigal son, and I had a loving father who was always there to welcome me back. It helped me experience in earthly terms love that mirrored the heavenly love of God the Father, who forgives us before we even ask, scans the horizon for us day and night awaiting our homecoming, and rushes out to meet us when he spots us at a distance.

If we truly want to raise up children in the way that they should go (Prov 22:6), let's start with being good fathers. Spend time with your kids, and be intentional with them about teaching the faith, and model it in your own life. Pray with them, and take them to church--every Sunday. A Swiss study found that most critical factor of the faith being passed from one generation to the next was the religious practice of the father. Work it into your routine so that they know, Sundays are different. Sundays we go to church and worship the Lord. It's just what we do (even when we're traveling or on vacation). Be almost militant about it too, because it's too easy to say, "it's too hard today, we'll just skip just this once," and then it becomes easier to skip next week too. There's no substitute for going to church, just like there is no substitute for being a father.

"As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him." (Ps 103:13)

Day 3: You Will Not Surely Die

I think about the Fall. A lot. You could call it one of my theological obsessions. Why do we sin? Why are we drawn to sin? Why is it so hard to do good?

Adam and Eve had EVERYTHING in the Garden they needed to be happy. They had the Lord. They had food in abundance. They didn't need clothes. Their lives were good...they were in Paradise.

But Paradise wasn't enough. When the serpent comes along to tempt them to do the one thing God commanded them not to do--eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil--they listened. They opened the door to an alternative promise of happiness. "God said we will die if we eat of or touch the tree," Eve says, but the serpent assures them that will not be the case, for "you will not surely die," he says, "but your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."

Like a used car salesman trying to unload lemons and get people to part with their hard earned money, the devil uses a variety of tactics. He is not known as the Father of Lies for nothing. He'll say and do anything to close a sale. It's all promises until you sign on the dotted line, and then you see what you've really bought. You take the broken down jalopy back to him the next day after the radiator is blown and the door handle comes off and he'll act like he doesn't know you. As long as he has your money, he could give two hoots about you and your new hoopty.

Satan whispers all kinds of lies in our ear all day to lead us away from God.

"That's no big deal...God doesn't really care about that."
"Sex outside of marriage is fine. As long as you are in love, that is all that matters."
"You can have just one sip, can't you? Then go back to being sober the next day. NBD."
"No meat on Friday? Where does it say that in the Bible? Don't be a such a hypocrite. Just enjoy the hamburger already."
"It will all be over soon. Rest is just around the corner. All you have to do is pull the trigger."

The world is in cahoots with the Devil. They rent the arena space out to him. Sometimes we don't even know things are wrong because we have lost our moral framework. It's as if the devil has his work cut out for him. And once he gets what he wants, he could care less about us. Not that he ever cared about us in the first place.

If you take anything from this post, just think about the last time you were lied to. What did it feel like? What did you feel like afterwards? Did you feel betrayed? Angry? Now think about this--when we turn away from God and his Word, we are not only making offense against the Lord, but shortchanging ourselves. Sin is one big lie--it promises us rest from future temptation and rest never comes. It promises happiness and contentment and doesn't deliver. It promises us love and care and leaves us orphans. It promises that we will be like God, and yet it takes us farther from Him.

When God lights the darkness in your heart, gives you eyes to see sin for what it really is--a lie, a false promise, a half-truth--don't be hoodwinked. Submit yourself to God. Learn His Commandments and follow them. Don't be like the rich man that trusts in his riches, says to himself "you have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy, eat drink and be merry," for God tells him, "you fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself!" (Lk 12:20). When you do fall, repent, get up, and walk anew, learning what a lie looks like so next time you will not be fooled.

"Submit yourself to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." (James 4:7)

Day 2: Do What You Can, Pray for What You Can't

I write a lot about lofty topics concerning faith, theology, and spirituality, but if you want to know the truth...sometimes I'm just a grumpy tired burnt-out parent that just got off a five minute yelling streak and made myself feel better by eating three bowls of salted caramel ice cream, assumed the fetal position on the couch while my kids ignore the rice and beans I tried to feed them for dinner and I don't know what they're doing or watching on TV because I'm falling asleep because I just drank a beer and was up at 5:30am and my wife is at a work function and I'm just trying to survive. Then your wife comes home and you snap her head off for leaving you with these heathens even though its not her fault and she bringing home that bacon anyway so you can't get mad, but you're just so tired, so defeated, so very un-spiritual.

What do you write about then?? I suppose you write about failure, Simon Peter style ("Aren't you one of his disciples?..."

St. Pope John Paul II wrote in his 1993 encyclical Veritatis Spendor:

"God does not command the impossible, but in commanding he admonishes you to do what you can and to pray for what you cannot, and he gives his aid to enable you. His commandments are not burdensome (cf. 1 Jn 5:3); his yoke is easy and his burden light (cf. Mt 11:30)"

Lent is a great balancing act. When we err to much on the side of our works and spiritual exercises, we may be tempted to think we are in no need of God's grace and mercy, that we might be fooled into thinking we can do things on our own, without Him. It is not long after such endeavors are undertaken, however, that we are usually quickly (Day 2!) humbled by the Lord with our abject failures to maintain goodness on our own apart from Him. Failure then becomes a great grace to bring us back to center. 

When I am failing and sinking, or under temptation, my go-to prayer is Ps 69:2: "O God, come to my assistance. Oh Lord, make haste to help me!" Quick, to the point, and earnest. The Lord does not disappoint in giving me what I need in that moment to get through.

While everything doesn't rest on our shoulders, we also can't eschew what we are legitimately called to carry out either because "grace will take care of it," lest we risk our spiritual muscles atrophying for those times when we are called to times of suffering and persecution.  If becoming a saint was easy, everyone would be one. Spiritual athletes need training too.

And so we must do what we can, and pray for what we cannot. 

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of humility through failure!

"For I have the desire to do good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing...What a wretched man I am! Who will save me from this body of death? Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Rom 7:18-19; 24-25)

Day 1: Nowhere to Hide

When you have a big black cross on your forehead, it's hard to get away with anything in public.

You can't sit on a bench and drink a 40oz beer in a brown paper bag. It's hard to check out attractive women when they walk by. Smoking seems out of the question. Same for cursing someone out in the car when they cut you off, or gossiping out loud, or just being an all around jerk.

If you were berating an employee at McDonald's for getting your filet o' fish order wrong while forgetting that you are sporting a big, conspicuous ash-cross, most people would think to themselves, "what a hypocrite." And rightfully so. If you want to sin, you'd be better off wiping the soot off your face so you can fly under the radar and fit in with the world and not invite scandal. Christians are called to be different, to be set apart.

For one day a year, Christians who receive ashes at the beginning of Lent are a marked people. You can spot them out in a crowd--it couldn't be more obvious, at least on the surface. But are our actions on this day truly reflecting the light of Christ to others? Do they see us and remark, like Tertullian, "See how these Christians love one another!" It's a great opportunity to practice integrity and witnessing to the faith publicly. But we need to be aware of what we are called to as marked people.

When we are fasting, and cranky from hunger pangs, do we offer our minor hardship to the Lord  joyfully for the sake of souls and thank Him that we might share in his suffering? Or do we complain about it loudly, make it known to others? If so, we have received our reward.

Do we humbly acknowledge our sinfulness, that we are dust and to dust we will return? Or do we set ourselves apart to be noticed, to be special or some kind of religious VIP? If so, we have received our reward.

Do we smile, and take the opportunity to speak about the reason for our hope to the curious who ask? Or are we morose, sullen, and embarrassed? If so, we have received our reward.

Jesus has good advice for those who fast, pray, give alms, and don the marks of penance:

• -Do not look somber as the hypocrites do (Mt 6:16)
• -Annoint your head with oil and wash your face (Mt 6:17)
• -Don't make a show of giving to the poor in order to be seen, but do so quietly (Mt 6:3)
• -Pray sincerely, not wasting words (Mt 6:7)
• -Spend time in prayer in your room (Mt 6:6)

What an incredible opportunity to witness, to open a door to conversation, to spark curiosity about the living Lord during this season! But the potential to scandalize and invoke the rotten wafting of hypocrisy is there too, when we don't take the call to repentance seriously.

Do you wish to repent and believe in the Gospel? The invitation is open!

"To those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." (Rev 3:20)

Marco's List

I believe in the power of prayer. I believe prayer can change things, change trajectories, change lives.  I can't know for sure, but I suspect a lot of people were praying for me on my road to Emmaus, before I recognized the Lord. Who knows where I would have been without their prayer? 

I also believe there are no coincidences, no accidental meetings for no reason. That, as the saying goes, everything happens for a reason, and people come into and out of our lives during certain seasons according to God's purposes. That sometimes we have the privilege of entertaining angels for a night. 

And so a few years ago I started doing something simple but peculiar in preparing for Lent that was inspired by the belief in the power of prayer and that people I encountered in my life were not there by accident but for a purpose. 

I light a candle the night before Ash Wednesday and read some scripture...nothing prescribed, just what I feel led to read that night (tonight it was Psalm 39 and Acts 2). The Holy Spirit speaks in whispers, and so I need to be quiet and still sometimes to hear His voice. 

I then set my timer for ten minutes. Sitting still is really hard for me, so I need this to make sure I don't get up or find some excuse to do something besides pray and listen. I say, "God, this 10 minutes is yours. Do with it what you will. Speak, for your servant is listening (1 Sam 3:1-10).

After the ten minutes of prayer is over, I ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to me who I am called to pray for. I have a pen and a piece of paper, with 40 spaces from 1 to 40. As I turn over my consciousness to the Lord, names begin to materialize. As they come, I write them down...the first to come in space #1, the next in space #2, etc., trusting that this is the right person and the right time.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking, "nah, I don't want to pray for this person," or "this isn't right," but trust the process and write down who comes into my head at that time anyway. By the time I am finished I have forty names, some as random as "the heavy-set guy in the West Chester Wawa with the red sweatpants who walked slow and was buying a hoagie" to people as familiar as "mom."

After the time of prayerful inspiration is over and I have forty names on my paper in their respective spaces, I line up the numerical portion with the corresponding date...#1 = March 1st, #2 = March 2nd, etc. I then put that person's name in my calendar on my phone, one by one, on the appropriate date. I set an alarm for 5:30am for each day of Lent, and that is the person that is assigned for that time on that date. I get out of bed, and pray for them, for 10 minutes, and throughout the day--for their intentions, their well-being, that they may know and experience the love of God and his grace and mercy. If I am fasting or abstaining from meat on that particular day, I offer up any discomfort to the Lord for them.

I don't know at the time why someone came into my mind, and why, say, on March 27th I am to pray for so-and-so, but I trust that God has his reasons. Really, do we need an excuse to pray for someone? It might seem kind of gimmicky, but for me (as I've written about before on this blog)--unless I write it down, it doesn't really exist.

Why do I do this? Because people did it for me, prayed for me, intentionally. Because I believe in the power of prayer, and I believe that there are no accidental meetings. It's also self-serving in some ways--praying for others and offering sacrifices on their behalf gets me out of myself so that Lent does not become a self-improvement regime. And it is structured enough that it holds me accountable to intentional periods of prayer, even if it is only for ten minutes a day.

We are called to carry our brother and sister's burdens out of love, the way Simon carried Jesus' cross and Veronica wiped his face. Everyone can use prayer. Everyone is fighting a hard battle, some more than others. For me, this is one way to do it, even if I haven't seen the person on my "list" in years, and even if they don't know me at all.

Here's to a blessed Lenten season for all...whether we have met or not.

Empty Calories

Yesterday was an all around grind. Between not being able to catch a breath at work and leaving late to go teach religious ed to a class full of rowdy 5th graders that won't listen and won't sit still, to coming home to our own kids putting our patience to the test...I was tired, hungry, and spent.

"What are we having for dinner?" Deb asked.

"Hm. Well there's some sweet potatoes cooked, and some rice, and vegetables and..."

I could tell by the look on her face that this wasn't going to cut it tonight, and I agreed. We were in the mood for takeout--nothing vegetable related, either. I hopped back in the car and drove to the next town to a Wendy's, which was our agreed upon establishment for the Tuesday takeout slum-fest.

As I sat in the drive-thru, my stomach was growling, and the ads for spicy chicken sandwiches and double-stacked burgers in front of me were whetting my appetite. How do they make gross food look so good? Advertisers aren't stupid. They spend their careers studying hungry people like us, employ artists, photographers, psychologists, food scientists to get us to part with our money and ingest whatever it is they are peddling.  They have craving down to a science.

When I got home, we ate. I had some chicken nuggets and bacon-ranch fries, Deb had a cheeseburger and a Frosty, and the kids had all of the above. Although I was promised satisfaction at my weakest moment, I knew I would feel gross after eating a meal like this, and I wasn't disappointed.  It tasted so good...at first. The fuller I got, the grosser I felt. To boot, I had dropped twenty bucks for the privilege and got a double daily dose of saturated fat, sodium, and sugar in the form of cheap empty calories. We would have been better off in the end just eating the healthy food we had at home that night.

Nobody really wants to each vegetables. We eat them because we know they are good for us and necessary for health. Sometimes they are even tasty, and who doesn't feel good after eating a salad? But when we're feeling low, or lonely or stressed or hungry, or all of the above, we don't want a sweet potato. We want to binge on some freaking pork rhinds.

It is the constant battle of the flesh to satisfy itself, constantly and immediately, at anyone's expense, including its own. The effects of the Fall and Original Sin follow us through this life like a shadow.  The nature of sin is cheap--yet costs us dearly.  It promises to fill us, but leaves us feeling empty. It downplays its consequences, but when occasional nights of slumming become ingrained habits, our spiritual health begins to deteriorate.

There's nothing inherently sinful about a hamburger. Eating when we are hungry is not sinful. Fast-food in moderation is not sinful. Yet like Adam and Eve deceived in the garden, we fall for the lure of Satan's advertisements against what we know to be good for us when those things contradict the nature and fruits of the Spirit--love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

God is the Master Dietician. He prepares a banquet for us, not of milkshakes and chicken-fried-crap, but pure and true food that feeds and nourishes both body and soul--his very own flesh and blood (Jn 6:55). If we walk in the Spirit, we will not fulfill the lust of the flesh (Gal 5:16). With Lent and the season of concerted prayer, fasting, and almsgiving coming up next week, it is a good reminder of the athletic-like training necessary to help build our spiritual muscles so that we may persevere to the end (Mt 24:13).