But sometimes things creep in...projects, work, leisure, distractions that steal time away from her. Sometimes these things legitimately need to be attended to, but sometimes I place them higher in the queue than where they should be at the expense of time with my wife and family. And my marriage and relationship with my wife suffers as a result. I can always tell when things are off between us, and it usually goes back to not loving her as I should.
Our relationship with God is like this. Scripture repeatedly and analogously relies on marriage to paint the picture of God's covenant with His people. (Hos 1-2; Eph 5:22-32; Song of Songs; etc). It is an intimate relationship that is one of covenant and communion--God binding himself and communing with his people. He is involved in their everyday affairs, not as a far-off impersonal deity, but as a loving Father. He is not fickle, but committed for life. He loves with a deep love, a well of love that never runs dry, never gets tired, is unconditional.
Let's not over complicate things: Prayer is nothing other then time spent with God. It is speaking and listening. Prayer is necessary to have a relationship with God, because it is in prayer that we get to know Him--His nature, His plans for us, what pleases Him and what offends Him. You cannot get to Heaven without prayer.
The Devil loves nothing better than to lead us away from that intimate communion with God. He often does this on a gradient. That is, someone fervent in prayer and devoted to God does not one day wake up and say, "I think I will sin against my Creator today." No, our separation from God is typically a gradual drifting away--a slight cooling of ardent desire, a gently compromise on commitments, a willingness to replace time spent with God on something else--so subtle that we do not realize it is happening, for if we did we would immediately get back to the path. But rather it is like waking up after falling asleep while tubing on a river or at the beach, realizing you have drifted a long way from shore.
I have come to appreciate the character of people I know who are uncompromising in their commitments to live holy lives and in prayer, because they innately know that "a little leaven leavens the whole loaf" (Gal 5:9). Those who recognize that "desire after it is conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death." (James 1:15) know that if you give the Devil an inch he will take a yard, and that not spending time in the Word daily and in prayer daily weakens one's armor in the fight against darkness.
I will give you one example. A righteous man of prayer I know was speaking on the topic of music. While he qualified it by saying this was simply his experience and may not hold for everyone, he did add that he finds he prays less when he finds himself listening to secular music.
I can appreciate Christian music, but I generally don't listen to it regularly. I wish I was more of a fan, since by default when I am driving I am end up bouncing through the radio stations--Q 102, 96.5, etc. and the songs have a way of seeping into your subconscious. One hip-hop song in particular I came across recently is unbelievably catchy, and I found myself listening to it over and over again. I can just about recite the lyrics by heart. And what lyrics: it is about fornication, drug use, drunkenness, idolatry, greed, envy, lust, covetousness, licentiousness, pride, and just about every other sin you can imagine. It's no wonder I have been drifting away from regular prayer recently. It has seeped in, making a home and crowding out the good, and I have realized it too late. Like being asleep in a raft.
How can we recognize God's voice in such a midst? It is hard, and it throws us off. It is like the enemy who sowed tares among the wheat (Mt 13:24-30) We are like watchmen asleep when the enemy comes (Is 56:10). It is where I find myself presently, struggling to get back to base. But I unlocked the door with my own key, let the enemy in myself when he knocked quietly. I have been drifting for weeks, and am just starting to realize how far from shore I am, how I have replaced time with God in prayer with "something else." "Be alert and of sober mind. For your enemy the devil prowls around like a lion, seeking someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8)
Thankfully God is always there to welcome us home; all we have to do is turn away from sin in repentance (metanonia), and back to the Lord. The Greek term for sin has been translated as 'missing the mark'--it shortchanges us from the ultimate good and hands us a partial good instead; trades us the fullness of Truth for half-truths. Leaves us somewhat temporally full, but never really satisfied.
Spend time with the Lord. Make it a priority. Don't over-complicate it, just give him the time, for there is no substitute for time. Say, "Lord, I give you the next ten, fifteen, twenty minutes for you to do what you wish with." And give it to him. Take time for silence, but also for spending time with God in work, in interactions with others, when preparing a meal. There is no time that God can not be a part of, except when you are sinning. Put aside the things that make you drift and miss the mark, lest you wake up right before your death and realize how far you are from shore.
I know my wife because I spend time with her under the same roof. I know her inflections and what they mean, I know her tone and her facial gestures. Sometimes the time spent together is intentional, like date nights, sometimes it is just doing stuff together. But there is really no substitute for it. You can't have a Skype marriage, you have to be there for it. And not spending time with your spouse cracks the door to temptation to spend time with other things that may not be good for your body or soul. You may fall asleep in the raft, and wake up adrift.
Make time. Because when you are pleasing the Lord, everyone is happy.
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