Something I see as a bad habit right now that I've gotten into is having my phone by my bed. I don't have a watch or an alarm clock, so I justify this because I need it to check the time and help me get up in the morning. I seem to be especially prone to addictive tendencies, though, so this can create some problems.
I tend to be on my phone a lot. I realize it and I don't even make any attempts to curb it. Part of it is pragmatic (texting my wife, coordinating pickups on FB Marketplace, looking up a recipe, checking my calendar, etc), but the majority of it is not. It's simply habit, and an addictive one as well. I did turn 'ding' notifications on Facebook off, which helped a good bit. But the onus is on me to curb my use, and I simply don't.
All that would be okay, I guess, though we do know the people that invented these things don't even let their own kids use them. So there's definitely something addictive about these devices, or at least habit forming. But I've quit smoking, which is no easy feat, so I know this I'm able to at least cut down on this as well. But there is one aspect of this bad habit that bothers me the most, and that is this:
The first thing--the very first thing, without pause or exception, I do when I come to consciousness in the morning, when I open my eyes to the day, before I do anything else is...I check my phone.
I'm giving it honor and homage. It has taken the #1 seed at this point. And that is not a good thing.
We are commanded to have God first in our lives, having no strange gods before Him (Ex 20:3). Well, this powerful little device surely is a strange master. Like many idols, it sneaks in and makes a home without you really realizing the place of honor and dependence you're giving it.
My 'first thing'--what I honor the day with--should be indicative of where my priorities are. As Christians, we know what they should be. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind" (Lk 10:27). Which makes me a two-faced liar. I don't even confess it in the confessional--that I have failed to put God first, failed to love Him will all my heart, soul, strength, and mind. I should be confessing this every month I go, by matter of course, since it is the a priori failing in my life: to put God first.
What I should be doing, is putting my phone in another room after a certain hour, buy an alarm clock to put by my bed, and when I wake up in the morning, give the honor and glory to God in a "first-things-first" prayer, the honor and glory I have been giving to my phone instead. This too would set the tone for the day, for when we put God first in our lives, everything else falls into it's rightful place. It's easy to say I do that, but my actions say otherwise.
So, pray for me. Bad habits can be reversed, but it takes work and intentionality, and I have had so many balls in the air recently I have not been focused enough to attend to it. But maybe that's part of the reason why I am scattered--because I do not have First things first. Idols can be smashed, but it takes replacing fear and desire for control with trust, and that can be hard too.
Lord, I want to put you first, even in my so-called "busy" life. From the moment I rise and open my eyes, to the moment I lay down and close them, please make Your home in my consciousness. Be my First Thing. Be the light to my eyes. I do not want idols in my life. I want to put You first, even when my actions betray that desire. Conform my will to Yours, so that I am only doing what is pleasing to You. Help keep my priorities in line, and heal me of my faults and addictions. Please...take the seat of honor in this house. I want you first in line.
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