How To Build Catholic Community

 Last year I opened up an American Airlines credit card and within a year used free air miles to hit three cities: Phoenix, St. Louis, and Houston. When I was more active on Facebook, and when my base of friends began to shift to becoming almost exclusively people of faith, I began to visit friends across the country, well, just because. I found I held more in common with strangers who were Catholic than secular folks who I had been friends with for years. This is the joy of the faith.

I made the suggestion to a friend in Phoenix "We should have a Catholic party," and she said let's do it. Word got out, and people came from all over the country for a giant house party. This was during COVID when people were craving community under lockdown. It ended up being the best remedy. It was awesome. St. Louis is an incredible city to be Catholic--lots of Catholic history and heritage, beautiful old parishes, and strong traditional communities. My base there started with a couple online friends, but built up like seven degrees of Kevin Bacon. I've been there twice so far, and would love to get back for a third. My trip to Houston was two-fold in nature--to visit a buddy (whom I had met on Facebook) and scout out his strong men's group to get ideas for the one we were building up back on the East Coast. Had a great few days experiencing Texas hospitality at my friend's house, smoking meats (and cigars) and drinking whiskey with other Catholic men.

Because I am a recruiter for work, I've been trained to, well, recruit. When I pitch, I realize I have a few seconds max to make a case to someone to listen to what I have to say (the 'elevator speech'). As a recruiter, you have to be somewhat outgoing, approachable, informative, inviting without being aggressive, and make a case that you are worth listening to. Follow-up is important, as you ultimately want someone to commit to your product or service; its also just good customer service to do so. 

The Catholic Church has survived two thousand years in large part by grace and the Holy Spirit, not because of good marketing. I remember once calling multiple parish offices about something, and not even getting a call back. I also have spoken to more than one person on occasion who was curious about the Catholic faith but was turned off by the parish secretary "gatekeeper" making them jump through hoops for this or that that they just never returned. The fact is, the Church could easily do a lot to address the low hanging fruit of evangelization if they truly want to grow. The question is, do they? 

The writer Hilaire Belloc famously noted, "As a Catholic, my faith tells me that the Church has a divine origin, but my own experience tells me that it must be divine because no human institution run with an equal mixture of ineptitude and wickedness would have lasted a fortnight."

Sometimes a parish will hire a "Director of Evangelization" or something to that effect to address this need, which would seem laudable. Personally, though, I content that the most effective programs are not "programs" at all, but grass roots efforts that build from the ground up, not the top down. When it comes to building Catholic community, I have found this is the best approach.

The area we live in is not a powerhouse of Catholicism. In fact, the Northeast U.S. is largely a wasteland area of "beige Catholicism" and uninspiring 1970's era suburban parishes. But what my wife and I found after intentionally working to draw Catholic families in our area together the past few years, is that there ARE in fact lots of families "out there," but disconnected and isolated. We know this because we felt the same way--like a Catholic island in a sea of secularism and lukewarmness. 

The nondemoninational churches in the area would entice fellow Catholics with something they desired: belonging, fellowship, and community. Visit any evangelical church and you will find a sizable portion of so called "ex-Catholics" that comprise their congregations. All because a Christian from that particular church took the initiative to extend an invitation to get plugged in to their worship community.

We can do the same! Here's what I find has worked for us in one way or another:

-Take the initiative to approach someone after Mass.

 This can take you out of your comfort zone, since as Catholics we are so good about sticking to ourselves and hightailing it of the parking lot after Mass. But you might be surprised the traction you can get from simply saying to someone afterwards, "Hi, my name is ____. What's your name?" Be friendly without being overly-aggressive, while respecting personal boundaries and sensibilities. But be a "closer" too--don't be afraid to offer your email address or phone number, or take theirs if they feel comfortable giving it to you. And if you do, be sure to follow up with a friendly "It was nice to meet you," to establish a non-threatening point of contract. 

-Host a gathering

We have done this a few times over the past couple years. We are blessed with a decent backyard and personally, I like to host events and parties, so it's not "work" for me (my wife is more introverted, but she's a good sport and indulges me). So, what we do is gather up all our emails and phone numbers of the Catholic contacts we have made, set a date a few weeks out, and say "Just come, and bring your friends." We offer the forum and space for God to work (simply giving back to Him what He has given to us), but it happens organically and naturally. Don't overcomplicate it, or stress out about details. Offer some simple food and drink, invite people to bring something, and make it about the people and fellowship. When I would help run orientation for our incoming graduate students for work, I would tell people "they will not notice all the things that go wrong, or that you ran out of this-or-that giveaway, but they will remember how you made them feel when they set foot on campus, and if you were smiling and happy to be there or not." Food is the icing, company is the cake, as they say. We were shooting for a crowd of one hundred this weekend after Mass, but I think we came in around sixty or so. Next time! My attitude is always "the more the merrier." 

-Establish some small-groups

One of the neat by-products of these larger gatherings is that sub-groups begin to form naturally. Our men's group developed organically in this way three years ago, and more recently the wives of the men have formed their own social group, including book clubs, tea get togethers, and nights out. This is also a nice, less intimidating way to invite men and women into fellowship in a single-sex environment. I'm proud of my wife for sometimes getting out of her comfort zone as an introvert to minister to and interact with other women when she may be just inclined to stay home or be less social. One nice thing about this too is that the "I know a guy" network builds: need a Catholic lawyer? I know a guy. Struggling with something? So-and-so is a great listener and kind soul. Trying to plug in to a homeschool co-op? Here are four phone numbers of moms with kids in our area heading one up.

These are just three examples of things you can do to build Catholic community wherever you are in the country or world. Like all things, it can take a little effort and sometimes takes us out of our comfort zone. The seemingly-trite adage "Be the change you want to see in the world" seems to apply. Are you lonely, feeling disconnected, looking for fellowship? Maybe God wants to make things happen, but needs YOU to take the first step. As Catholics, we have the Truth, and truth is always attractive. Sometimes this is enough to draw people into the Church. But we also want them to stay. Sometimes fellowship can be that missing link to prevent the all-too-common attrition of Catholics being pilfered off.

I used to pray during those times like St. Francis, "Lord, send me some brothers." And He did! It has also helped my faith tremendously to know I am not alone, not an island, and have other people of faith to lean on.How many people, then, may now be feeling this way, and are just waiting for someone to extend an invitation to them? Take a chance, step out in faith. After all, maybe that someone that people are waiting for an invitation from....is you!