The Dignity Of Men

I'd like to solicit your prayers if I may; this Thursday is the first of a monthly series at our parish for men. Like men, it's not complicated: a half hour of adoration and rosary as a collective in the church, followed by a talk on one of the virtues in the basement with discussion and fraternity to follow over beer and wings. In my mind, it's a good formula: there is an active "doing" as a collective (adoration/rosary); there is a practical and tangible outcomes-focused objective (cultivating the virtues); and there is food and drink. 

I've always believed that when you build up men, you build up the family, and when you build up the family, you can begin to rebuild the Church. Surprisingly, we didn't have anything like this at our parish, so I proposed the idea first to a small group of men, then to our pastor, both of whom affirmed the need and supported the idea. I also feel a bit of pressure since it has the potential to be a big crowd, and I want it to be a worthwhile thing for all involved.

 What I like about this idea is that it's a low bar of entry: if you are a man, you can come--whether retired or teenager, blue collar or academic, single or married, trad or not, black or white, from the city or the suburbs. The Church is not, nor should it be, a country-club clique. She is Mother to all men.

My wife and I went to a mid-day holy hour last week while visiting New Orleans, and what struck me was that the half a dozen adorers in the church were all men. In the front pew, a young African American man sat motionless before the Lord; a few rows behind him, a Hispanic construction worker also prayed, with his head resting on his hands. To the left of him, a professional looking man in his thirties in a blue suit knelt before the Lord, presumably on his lunch break. All men, all different walks of life, all there for the same reason: to seek consolation and offer worship. 

This isn't some forced DEI exercise, but the natural response to a Lord who does not discriminate in his call. Neither Jew nor Greek, bond nor free, but all one in Christ Jesus (Gal 3:28). For the Lord does not see as men see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart (1 Sam 16:7). 

Men's ministry can be tough; it can sometimes play to caricatures, or as my friend Boniface calls it, engage in "man-pandering." Men have their own language and code, and you need to learn to speak to that in order to get buy-in as well as earn respect. 

But unlike women, men are not mysterious. Wives are often amazed to realize how uncomplicated it can be to please their husbands: feed him, satisfy him, and respect him. That should take care of 99% of the problems in your marriage. 

The universality of faith, expressed in Catholicism, is the glue that binds us as baptized believers. It isn't based on where you come from, your caste or color, your job or your personality.  St. Paul exemplifies this image of Christ by becoming "all things to all men" so that some might be saved (1 Cor 9:22). We have dignity as men because our dignity comes from Christ, the perfect man who died for all men.