You're Not A Trad

 

This post may be a bit of a stretch, but I'm going to write it anyway because it's been on my mind and because I have a habit of taking two or more seemingly incongruent topics and tying them together somehow so you're left saying, "Hm. Well that's one way to look at it." Ha. Bear with me, though, because there will be a few random floating observations and things floating around in the beginning.

Point 1

After spending five days on retreat in blissful silence at a proverbial trad "band camp" last week, I ended up experiencing some symptoms of liturgical indigestion when I attended a local men's conference I was invited to and gifted a free ticket for the day after I returned home. I arrived at the retreat center around sunrise to start the day with Adoration (which was a good start); there was a sizable crowd of men as well. Ok, so far so good.

After an hour of adoration, it was time for Mass. The celebrant was I guess some kind of well-known rockstar priest who had a penchant for being "hardcore" about some things. It was still early in the morning, and I was a little thrown off by his antics on the altar, which included a loud homily about "people who assume the posture of holiness really aren't," and how he feels that people who "act holy" are "hiding something." During the Our Father, he also abruptly stopped and chastised the men for "saying it too fast." He forced us through a slowed-down, deliberate way of saying it. I guess it bothered him, and he wasn't afraid to show it. Whatever, I guess?

This is not the first time I've experienced a 'showman' priest; in college, we had a (probably gay) priest from the local abbey who would get theatrical and make himself the center of attention. Another priest after college at the church I attended would use the Mass as a "teaching opportunity," which was well intentioned but felt disruptive. In both these instances, and at this men's conference, I felt like the versus populum orientation of the New Mass feeds into this kind of priestly narcissism. I also feel like because of the deficiencies of the New Mass vs. the Vetus Ordo, the priests celebrating the Novus Ordo can overcompensate with loud homilies and liturgical ad-libs because, well, they can. What I have grown to love about the traditional Mass is that the priest simply disappears. 

The Mass concluded with some truly awful OCP hymns; it struck me that the N.O is by nature much more feminized, even when there were no women present; it brought back memories of the strange embarrassment I felt when it came to the hymns especially while at Mass. Now granted, there were a lot of Boomer generation men there, so it's probably what they're used to.

All this to say, for the rest of the day when I got home, I felt a kind of 'spiritual indigestion' from what was just par for the course each Sunday in your standard suburban parish.  The Latin Mass has officially ruined me.

Point 2

When my wife and I were making every last effort to avoid yet another miscarriage after the birth of our third, we were referred to a fairly well-known Catholic pro-life doctor who was said to be able to help with fertility issues. The reality is that at this time my wife was already in her mid-forties and the chance of conceiving and bringing a pregnancy to term were slim (though not altogether impossible). This doctor immediately prescribed a no caffeine, no dairy, no meat, etc etc. diet, which I thought, "ok, this is a little quacky but whatever"). 

Years ago I had a bad experience with a Facebook acquaintance who was just trying to be helpful when it came to fertility issues, saying "avoid this, use this, don't do this..." Mind you, she had no medical credentials whatsoever, just struggled with infertility herself so I think it was personal for her. My wife was already in a kind of sensitive state, and though I suggested some of these things for her, I immediately regretted it--because then it becomes if you have another miscarriage, it's because you didn't do x, y, and z.. My wife doesn't deserve that kind of psychological sabotaging...it's hard enough losing a baby even without second-guessing yourself as to why. For the same reason I resented this doctor's insistence on some unfounded diet--95% of the issue, I think, was that my dear wife was simply in her mid forties and the chance of pregnancy (especially taking to full term) was slim. She kind of did the diet, the progesterone pills, etc for a few months and then because it sucked, just reintroduced all the no-no's and got back to our life.

Point 3

Every time we go to a Catholic gathering, somebody is bringing Gluten Free this-or-that. I don't know why. They are not in the 1% of people who have Celiac disease, but rather the 33% of Americans who are trying to eliminate gluten from their diet (for whatever reason). I think there is this belief that gluten is "bad" and that it contributes to either behavior or other health-related issues, but that doesn't really have any scientific evidence for. I have no idea. All I know is I love gluten and like most people, have no aversion to it. But GF is to the 2020s what the lowfat Snackwells craze was to the 90's.

I imagine people who truly do have a gluten allergy like celiac disease are happy people are bringing gluten intolerance into the public consciousness and making every restaurant chef hate his life, because now they have more choice, more options when they go out to eat or to the grocery store. 

Synthesizing Points 1, 2, and 3.

Ok, here's the thing: True Traditionalists are the liturgical Celiac sufferers; myself and most people I know who attend the TLM are like the 33% of the population who claim to need to be Gluten Free because somewhere we heard on the internet gluten=bad. 

A true Traditionalist will walk out of a Mass if they find out it is the Novus Ordo, or just not attend a funeral Mass or wedding Mass (or not receive communion), and will never attend the New Mass, ever. Call it a liturgical allergy or whatever--I'm not judging it, just observing. At least they are consistent.

The rest of us have a strong preference for the TLM, but if push came to shove we wouldn't stay home and pray our rosary if the Novus Ordo was the only option while traveling or whatever. We might have to suppress a groan-reflex while there, but we're not breaking out in hives or rupturing the lining of our stomachs, either. We wouldn't even have that option were it not those one-percenter trads that paved the way for what we enjoy on the menu now.  

I have at least been consistent in never claiming to be a Traditionalist, despite being 'traditional' or 'trad-sympathetic' or 'trad-leaning' or whatever you want to call it. I'm fine with that, and honest about it. I also find it annoying when people have some kind of axe to grind with Traditionalists, or are trying to make a name for themselves in the Catholic, Inc world by making strawmen arguments against tradition.

Because for a true Trad, I think there is a line in the sand you simply won't step over, and that is the line between the novus ordo and the vetus ordo. Although I find the novus ordo gives me liturgical indigestion, I'm not allergic. If you're starving on a desert island, your "gluten free" claims and preferences may quickly go the wayside if all you find is bread. Likewise, as I've written, the Novus Ordo may one day save your life. My attitude? I'm in desperate need of grace, and I'll take it wherever I can get it. And there is grace wherever the Lord is present. And He is indeed present in the New Mass.  If you'd "rather die" than attend the New Mass...well, that's on you I suppose.