No One Is Putting Money On Me

It's been a couple months since my first book was published. My publisher and I did as much promotion as we could, running the circuit online and getting the word out and reviews procured. Here's a sampling of reviews and mentions: 

Stumbling in the Footsteps of Christ: Rob Marco's Wisdom and Folly (Kevin Wells, National Catholic Register)

What Is A Man? What Is A Good Man? What Is A Hero? (Patti Armstrong, National Catholic Register)

Wisdom and Folly: An Interview with Author Rob Marco (Susan Skinner, Veil of Veronica)

A Radical Third Way of Discipleship (Guest: Rob Marco) (Eric Sammons, CrisisPoint podcast)

Wisdom and Folly: Everyday Thoughts of an Ordinary Catholic (Roxane Salonen, CatholicMom.com)

Wisdom and Folly by Rob Marco (Phillip Campbell, Unam Sanctam Catholicam)

The last I checked with my publisher, the book has sold about a hundred copies. Not a hundred thousand. 100. And that is mostly friends and family, I imagine. No body has even bothered to write a review yet, though at almost 400 pages some people may still be trying to finish the book, haha. How anyone ekes out a living writing is beyond me. I know of nothing that demands so much of a person and compensates so little in return. 

I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly was a reality check to know that despite writing a quality book that speaks to people's hearts, is relatable and honest, appeals to both men and women, and seemed timely and pertinent, it was truly a failure to launch. I'm ok with that, since I think in my heart of hearts I have never wanted to be "big" in anyway. I prefer a close circle and degrees of anonymity and freedom over prestige and compensation. So, I pretty much got what I have always wanted. 

Still, it's a little embarrassing to pour so much of yourself into your kind of opus, have it be well written and relevant, do some national marketing and exposure, and STILL not get any traction in a wider audience. 

I heard Louis CK, in reflecting on his comedy career, tell Theo Von recently: 

"A lot of it is just...you caught a wave it was good timing. There's some people who are incredible but they weren't *that* at the right time. that's one of the biggest challenges in comedy is just staying good when nobody is paying attention and continuing to progress, because it's like this search light that maybe finds you sometime, and if every time it finds you you're getting better and better, then somebody in the world will go, 'this guy's a good bet.' They'll start putting money on you."

I think that's just the reality. I never caught that lucky wave, and it's quite apparent that no one is putting money on me and saying "this guy's a good bet." Or maybe it's just the nature of the democratization of voices that the internet has produced--so many hundreds of thousands of good writers that there are no real long-lasting standouts. 

Again, I'm ok with this. I am a rich man already in friends, family, faith, and purpose in my life, in want of nothing. But I just think it's kind of a fools errand to think it's ALL just hard work and talent and dedication and grinding to "make it" big (whatever that means). If you never hit that wave, you're just another drop in the ocean that gets drowned out in the noise. Sheer luck and timing plays a part, whether we want to admit it or not. 

Again, all okay. Writing is my little hobby, nothing more, and if I set myself up to believe otherwise, the disappointment would be more acute I think. The book was mostly a legacy endeavor for my wife and children anyway. I'm sure a lot of "famous" people would envy the anonymity and freedom to go where and do what I want I have as an essential nobody in the media world. I'll thank God for that, then!