Both my wife and I had a "list" of the traits we were looking for in a spouse around the time we met. My wife, for one thing, prayed for a "resourceful" husband. She was quick to point out: "resourceful, not rich" since I was, well, living in a van down by the river at the time and was unemployed. I managed to turn things around over the years though, and we're doing great and comfortable now.
Surprisingly, high up on my list of things I was looking for in a spouse, was someone with a sense of humor. If I can't laugh with you, that's a bad sign. That doesn't mean we have to have the same sense of humor, or find the same things funny. But if you can't laugh--at yourself or others--and take yourself too seriously...well, that's going to be tough.
Even now, I love to laugh. Unfortunately, not all the comedy and comics I like are squeaky clean. But I can sometimes look past that. The ones I find the funniest are the ones who see the things everyone sees but actually says what everyone is thinking. I'm very picky, like with movies, though. Comedy is so subtle, such an art, because you really have to have a good read on the crowds, be attentive to timing, and know what will work when. I met a guy who did amateur standup and he said it was so incredibly difficult. So, I have a degree of admiration for people that can make others laugh. Because laughing is good for you!
It has to be hard these days, though. Many comics have lamented that the PC, virtue-signaling, super-sensitive and easily offended culture kills comedy and makes their jobs that much harder. I think it was Jerry Seinfeld who said he won't even go to college campuses anymore to do shows because of this.
St. Philip Neri is one of my favorite saints because of his love of humor and being a jokester. This is refreshing! A true sign of humility is that you don't take yourself so seriously. We should be sensitive in some ways, and not jerks obviously, but the ability to take and receive a joke can tell you a lot about a person. Personally, the fact that my wife and I can make fun of each other and burn calories laughing about it is one of the highlights of being married to her.
On that topic--I think cursing is in most instances, abrasive and distasteful, especially in the written word. Most people use it in a cringy way of trying to be cool and relatable to compensate for something. Every now and then, it can be used in standup in a funny way. But it's kind of like salt--don't overdo it. If your comedy depends on curse words or crude sexuality, that's kind of base and lowest-common-denominator. But I'm not opposed to a carefully flung word bomb by a professional from time to time if it will do the job.
We love to laugh as a family, too. It keeps things light. There is so much heaviness in the world! Laughter is a good antidote to taking yourself too seriously. Of course, life is serious. But we're reminded of that pretty constantly. It's more that we need to remember to lighten up from time to time.
Christian, don't be afraid to laugh! As the saying goes, "if you don't laugh, you'll cry."
St. Philip Neri, pray for us!
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