I was getting down on myself the other day for not succeeding in life, at least in terms of career. Now, granted, I don't think this is a fair assessment, as I feel very fortunate to have a loving wife, a great family, good friends, and a supportive community. In many ways, I feel like a rich man.
But comparison is a trap, and I don't even think it's fair that I was feeling inferior in terms of career status--there are lots of guys who do much better than me, and I'm sure some that are about the same level or struggling. In many ways, my career suits me because it plays to my strengths, none of which include anything to do with IQ and analytical abilities. Most of my "skillset" is soft, that is, soft skills like "effective communication" and "being a team player." I don't have much of an IQ (intelligence quotient) to speak of, but I do pride myself as perhaps having a higher EQ (emotional quotient) than many. That is, until I realized that high EQ doesn't really lend itself to succeeding "in the world" after coming across a compelling case against the overstated value of emotional intelligence in Inc from a Redditor in a AMA (Ask Me Anything) subreddit responding to a question posed on this topic:
"This is an interesting concept, but I gotta be honest," began the Redditor. "I'm an [expletive], and that's helped me more in my career than caring about people's emotions or anything like that.
In my industry, I focus on the work (really stressful medical clinical trials) and doing the best I can. Becoming an expert in my field is what matters to anyone I work with, because I can help companies save millions of dollars. I quit jobs if I'm not paid enough, negotiate for salaries more than twice as high as the industry average, and leave jobs if I get a better offer somewhere else. I'm great to work with, if I'm paid enough. After I leave a company, I often get a higher offer to come back.
I guess my question is, why should I care about "emotional intelligence"? How will it be a better usage of my time than just continuing to be an expert and outsmarting/outwitting my peers?"
He makes some salient points. Is emotional intelligence, then, a liability or an asset? Does it depend on the environment one works in? If I was in court, I would want my lawyer to be a bulldog in representing me.
A few weeks ago I came across an "expose" by Church Militant on the Wyoming Carmelites (aka, the "Mystic Monk Coffee" monks) and alleged abuses. It came across as a real hit piece. I rarely listen to CM and though I suppose they fill a function in Church media, I consider their journalism sloppy. Michael Voris is a bulldog, much like Bill Donahue (of the Catholic League) who goes after those who they want to spotlight and doesn't back down. I had a friend who was interviewed by Church Militant for something, and they completely misquoted and took her words out of context. Of course many news outlets are guilty of this, but I still find it off-putting. They often have a kind of pre-scripted agenda that they contort the content to fit. Again, this is true of most media outlets.
That's why I find the emergence of the Joe Rogan Experience so interesting, and refreshing. Rogan is not a journalist. He's neither a scientist nor a medical professional, not a theologian nor an academic. He's also not a provocateur. His career includes stints in standup comedy, narrating UFC fights, and hosting Fear Factor.
And yet, he has an incredible talent for attracting and engaging an incredibly diverse palate of guests (too many to list) on his podcast. I would wager that Rogan has an especially high emotional quotient, defined as "ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict."
He's also comes across as patriotic and an ordinary guy while being authentic, empathetic, attentive, cool, and incredibly curious yet measured in his thought process. He doesn't appear to prejudge especially harshly, and gives a platform to his guests while enjoying the freedom of not having to interject his own thoughts or steer the conversation towards a pre-determined narrative. This looks seamless and easy on camera, but I believe it takes a good amount of skill and deftness. He listens well and is interested in what is being discussed, which can not be said of most people (who are simply waiting for their turn to talk). He's not afraid to take things further into uncomfortable territory, and yet he seems like the opposite of a Michael Voris-type: self-confident, open to new ideas, and respectfully attentive.
I think what attracts a lot of people to his podcast is that it invites you into these intimate, stimulating conversations with these varied high profile guests that span the socio-political spectrum. It's not combative or stressful, but interesting and engaging without a real agenda. He can ground even the most esoteric guest. It gives the opportunity for curious people to be exposed to a different set of beliefs they may not have had otherwise. Whether that narrative is accurate or right may not be settled.
Yes, his language is coarse and sometimes vulgar. Yes, he sometimes smokes weed on the show with his guests. If you can look past those things, it can be a fascinating watch to see how an ordinary joe (pun intended) has mastered the art of communication and respectfully engages, actively listens, withholds judgment, and is genuinely curious about things he may not understand (but desires to). It also gives me hope that even though I don't have much of an IQ or any marketable skills in the workforce, maybe my EQ and everything that comes with it isn't a total waste after all.
In some ways, Rogan is like a Pilate, asking in his secular oratory of sorts "What Is Truth?" and being willing to interview anyone without exception if they have something to contribute to get to the heart of that question. I don't get the feeling he is willing to follow the Truth wherever it leads, is open to it, or that he even believes in objective truth. But he's willing to listen and guide the questions. There's something to that. It feels like it's a glimmer of hope that maybe we can someday as a country get back to a restoration of mutual respect and intellectual curiosity among those who have something to offer to the conversation.
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You have wonderful God given gifts. I'm glad you are able to use them. Rogan is really good at what he does from the few shows I've listened to. I like his humble, inquisitive style. He is like a throwback to how people used to talk. Refreshing. Maybe it'll catch on.
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