In conversation with a priest friend last week I was recounting a particular inter-personal struggle I was having with someone. I knew my inner-conflict of how I was grappling with how to love this particular person had more to do with me than them. My priest friend gave me a piece of advice that at first seemed condescending: "Pity him, the way Christ pitied those sheep without a shepherd."
His words stayed with me. We often super-impose our own backgrounds and way of doing things upon other people. "If so-and-so would just X," or "Why can't they just Y? Don't they see Z?" Etc. And then we get annoyed when they don't.
The fact is God made all of us unique, with distinct characteristics set apart for particular missions and charisms. As St. Paul said, we are one body but many parts. The more I thought about it, and the more I did in fact pity this particular individual rather than get angry, offended, or put-off, the more my compassion developed for them, the more I prayed for them, and the more my heart softened and I felt, interiorly at least, that I was able to love them more. It wasn't condescending...it gave me an insight into the fact that there may be struggle and insecurities in this individual I just never bothered to see before.
Which brings me to the topic at hand.
I have my own struggles and insecurities, but having more money than I know what to do with is not one of them. We are solidly middle-class, but have also been afforded various privileges in life, as well as good health and good fortune, that have allowed us to have minimal debt and has afforded us a nice quality of life. We're far from poor--we have never gone hungry or lived with the insecurity of figuring out which bills need to be paid this month--while being unburdened from having a lot of money to invest (or divest). We live simply by choice, but also because there is not much we could buy or acquire that would increase our bottom-line happiness quotidient. There is plenty we could have, but there is little but that we find we actually want beyond what we already possess.
I realize upon reflection this is a very blessed place to be. As the wisdom of Solomon petitions,
"give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, `Who is the LORD?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God" (Prov 30:7-9).
As one therapist to the 1% confided,
"What could possibly be challenging about being a billionaire, you might ask. Well, what would it be like if you couldn’t trust those close to you? Or if you looked at any new person in your life with deep suspicion? I hear this from my clients all the time: “What do they want from me?”; or “How are they going to manipulate me?”; or “They are probably only friends with me because of my money."
Most of the people I see are much more willing to talk about their sex lives or substance-misuse problems than their bank accounts. Money is seen as dirty and secret. Money is awkward to talk about. Money is wrapped up in guilt, shame, and fear. There is a perception that money can immunise you against mental-health problems when actually, I believe that wealth can make you – and the people closest to you – much more susceptible to them."
This is a pitiable state to find oneself in--hardened, suspicious, unempathetic, unhappy and unable to relate to 99% of the world. There is also something else that I have observed in addition to these characteristics: wealth tends to make a man effiminate. Granted many of the ultra-wealthy work long hours in their industries and endure a good deal of stress as the cost of doing business at the top. For this reason, I suspect, many have a "work hard, play hard" attitude. Exotic vacations, yachts, fine dining, second (and third, and fourth) homes, beauty treatments, hired help, etc...the more wealth one aquires, the more aclimated one becomes to the 'wants' becoming 'needs.'
There is also this kind of effiminacy that comes with a total lack of perspective: "my steak was not cooked the way I like it," "this car has a scratch on it," "I need a manicure and massage today," "I can't live without an air conditioned pantry." Rather than building character through adversity, having everything one could possibly want at their fingertips erodes it. The funny thing is, the ultimate intended purpose of these things--to make one happy--often has the opposite effect. Many of the super-rich find happiness and contentment elusive, a kind of needle in a haystack that they are always hoping will turn up, but never does. Instead, as Jack Ma (the owner of Alibaba, who is worth about $25B) said simply, being rich is "a great pain."
Of course not all the 'rich' are like this, and there were wealthy men of God in the Bible as well. But I think it needs to be said--being rich is more of a danger and a burden that I think people realize.
This I know, for the Bible tells me so, as the old saying goes:
Hebrews 13:5: "Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have."
James 5:1-6: "Come now, you rich, weep and howl for the miseries that are coming upon you. Your riches have rotted and your garments are moth-eaten. Your gold and silver have corroded, and their corrosion will be evidence against you and will eat your flesh like fire. You have laid up treasure in the last days. Behold, the wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, are crying out against you, and the cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord of hosts. You have lived on the earth in luxury and in self-indulgence. You have fattened your hearts in a day of slaughter"
1 Timothy 6:10: "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs."
Luke 6:24: “But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation."
Proverbs 23:4-5: "Do not toil to acquire wealth; be discerning enough to desist. When your eyes light on it, it is gone, for suddenly it sprouts wings, flying like an eagle toward heaven."
1 Timothy 6:9: "But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction."
I could go on, as there are no shortages of warnings and admonitions in scripture concerning the lure and danger of riches. Part of the reason, from a strictly pragmatic perspective, is that acquiring (and maintaining) wealth requires much of one's time and energy, with little left over for spiritual cultivation. Of course, this prioritization is not quite right--Christ demands of his disciples not leftovers, but their whole mind, heart, strength, and soul, and that the secret to the Kingdom is to give up all one's possessions and give to the poor to obtain treasure in heaven. How many of us have done just that?
The problem is, so few of us have done this. And personally, I wrestle with what that means for men of average means (who nonetheless may be considered "rich" depending on what part of the world you live in) like myself. How much is too much? How much is enough? What do we keep to live and what do we give? What do we save up for rainy days in prudence, and what do we leave to the trust of Divine Providence? I think these are questions that are good to wrestle with, and there is no one-size-fits-all formula.
But the proportionate unhappiness that comes with acquiring wealth should be a canary in the cage for the large majority of us who are not in those situations. Rather than angry condemnation or aggressive Occupy Wallstreet type protesting, I find that pitying the lot of the rich is maybe a better response. For many, they are trapped, unhappy, untrusting, isolated, stressed out, suspicious, and spiritually empty. They will face a harsh judgement, as our Lord warns, and they didn't even have the consolation or being truly happy in this life either. I wouldn't want their life or their fate. Theirs is the "spiritual poverty" Mother Teresa observed in her visits to the U.S. Indeed, maybe this is why our Lord gives woes to them as a warning to everyone else.
But our own economic standing should be a cause for reflection to make sure this hardness of heart and uncharity doesn't creep in either, whether we are making $40,000 a year or $40 million. If you have a house, a full stomach, minimal bills, two cars, good health insurance...depending on where you are standing, maybe you are the rich Christ is warning others about. We should always have a degree of self-accusation not born of guilt, but of suspicion of our motives and our attachments.
When Nathan the prophet came to King David to recount the tale of the man who stole the sheep, King David's indignation burned white hot. "The man must die, and deserves no pity!" But then Nathan drops the mic on him: "YOU ARE THE MAN!" Not the man, like "you're awesome," but "the judgement with which you have judged you will now be judged by!" It's terrifying. We all need a Nathan in our lives like this to lead us to self-knowledge.
Maybe it's best to treat and regard our good fortune like a hot-potato, lest it burn our hands. If wealth is a tool, it's quite possible it can cut us to bleeding if we don't take the necessary precautions: charity, generosity, temperance, detachment, a strong prayer life, and most of all, putting God first before everything else so that it is not said of us, "For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked." (Rev 3:17). Best to heed our Lord's advice and be on guard against that which can lead our hearts away from him, lest we fall into temptation.
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