Saint Joseph's Pain

 Fr. Calloway has done a great service to the Church in promoting devotion to Saint Joseph during this year of the great saint. As he mentions in his book, Saint Joseph lived much of his life in the shadows. Sometimes, though, the greatest witnesses are those hidden from view. 

Many pious women have lauded Fr. Calloway's book and devotion to the saint, and laudably so. A man by his nature will never know the discomfort of carrying a child in their body the way a woman can, or the pain that gives way to joy in birth but can only admire it from afar. But for the man carrying his burden, trying to do the right thing, protect and provide for children, and do what the Lord is calling him to, Saint Joseph reserves a place to enter into his hidden life in a way which, I suspect, may be hard for a woman to fully experience. 

As I reflect on St. Matthew's gospel account of the Annunciation, I imagine Saint Joseph being in the Divine shadow from the beginning. Bestowed with special graces, and an essential figure in the Holy Family, he was nonetheless a human being--unlike Mary, in that he was not spared from Original Sin; and unlike Jesus, his foster son, not Divine. And yet his quiet obedience was unparalleled. His fiat was expressed wordlessly and in deed, "being aroused from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and took him his wife" (Mt 1:24).

Just prior to his dream and the angel's proclamation, however, he must contend with (if I can speculate) the pain of misunderstanding. Perhaps he didn't care what people thought, or how they talked. But that his wife "was found with child," a child not his own, he is faced with the decision of what to do according to the law, which called for Mary to be "put away." Again, in obedience, he sets off to do so, though "secretly" so as not to exposure her to public example. What was in his heart? A mere man, could he not have felt what he could only have perceived as betrayal, at least initially and if only for an instant? And when it was revealed that Mary was with child "by the Holy Spirit," how to explain such a thing? 

We can see that what others think and any preoccupation with it is not mentioned in scripture; he does only what he is called to do. But his burden (which is, in fact, great privilege) is to not only endure the whispers and the pain of such misunderstanding among his own people and kin, but to bring up and provide a child not his own. 

The dangers magnify when the holy family takes flight into Egypt to escape King Herod, as he is charged with protecting not only the child Jesus, but his holy mother as well. What provisions could they have had? Where might they have had to sleep? How many sleepless nights did he endure in living out his role as foster father of the Redeemer in a foreign land not his own? Not long after, the wails of the mothers for their dead children echoed through the land--massacred, every last one (Jer 31:15). The literal future of the human race hinged on the protection afforded the child by grace and deed in St. Joseph's obedience.  

We do see in Matthew 2:22 that Joseph was "afraid" to go to Judea under the reign of Archaiaus, and again heeds the guidance of the angel to turn aside into Galilee to Nazareth. It is here, as we see in Luke's gospel, that the boy Jesus "grew and became strong." It is fathers who raise their sons in such a way, and while Jesus "increased in wisdom and stature" it is no doubt Saint Joseph formed him as he was called to do, and as if he were his own flesh and blood. Though his son was the God made man whom Joseph served, Joseph was the spiritual head of his household as scripture says, "he was subject to them" (Lk 2:40). 

What does it mean to be the spiritual head? The responsibility can not be overstated. Were St. Joseph to trust his own judgment, rather than listen to God; were he to doubt or falter to the point of saying "this is too much; I can't do this," we may not have the inheritance of the son. It is not easy to follow God's will when we do not understand. 

Let me repeat that: it is not easy to follow God's will when we do not understand. As any father knows, there is a burden we shoulder, often alone, even when willingly undertaken, that is the birthing ground for faith. Because we know what is at stake in raising a family, in heading a household. How many targets we have on our back, the value of the cargo we are charged in protecting. If we rely on our own power and intellect to make the decision which affect our family's well being, we are vulnerable to error. This is what we often fall back on in times of fear and doubt. 

And yet Saint Joseph by his silent witness and deep well of trust in being led paved a way for us as fathers today to do what is right by God first, for the benefit of our family, even when we do not understand what is going on. We need to tell ourselves this, remind ourselves of it, for Saint Joseph even in these scant passages in scripture, gives us the example of what it means to truly be led by God when you can't see two feet in front of you; when you only have faith to guide you. 

We all go through this, as fathers--doubting our abilities, facing our failures and imperfections, second guessing our calling. Tonight was one of those nights for me, when I needed (and obtained) the comfort of Saint Joseph's silent standing by my bedside when I lamented "I don't know what I'm doing. Saint Joseph, help!"

Thankfully, he always comes to our aid. This is why consecration to Saint Joseph is a medium of grace one would be foolish to leave on the nightstand.  He leaves us breadcrumbs in the desert to follow when we are leading our own family in the dead of night. He affords us powerful protection against our enemies, both human and spiritual, as the Terror of Demons. When we trust him and enter into his long night watch, we enter into a place where we learn what it means to walk by faith, what it means to be a father of the family, and what it means to hold safe the precious cargo entrusted to us in Christ.