The Vigano Effect

 One thing I struggle with constantly is the battle for affirmation. It's my "love language" and I'm sensitive to it, thrive on it. It's part of the reason I got off Facebook to not only free up some mental energy and brain space, but to try to extricate myself from the constant need for affirmation of what I was putting out there.

One nice thing about doing that is it has in fact freed up a lot more energy to just focus on writing. It's almost like a "if a tree falls in the woods" Zen koan though--if a writer writes and there's no one to read his words, does it make a sound? Does it serve any purpose, and what are my motivations? My wife posts my recent blogs to her Facebook for me to kind of let people know there is a new post, but otherwise it's just kind of existing in internet space. Some days, I wonder if it matters at all.

Honestly, I have wanted to quit many times--of course I don't make my living off it by any means, and so I'm not forced into it. It's not that it's unenjoyable either, and I usually don't spend more than 45 minutes tops on any one post, so it's not a huge time suck. I always want to make sure I'm writing for the right reasons, and always figured if it helps just one person out there somewhere come closer to Christ, it's worth it. Even though I try to quit and pull back, feeling like I'm writing too much, I feel the words of Jeremiah very acutely, "Then I said, “I will not make mention of Him, nor speak any more in His name.” But His word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones; and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not hold back." (Jer 20:9) 

I try to "stay in my lane," and just write about what I know, what I have experience with, and consider what I can offer anyone who finds it of benefit. I write mostly about faith, family, manhood, marriage, chastity, struggles, and trying to cultivate the virtues necessary to live an authentically Catholic life. My first blog (I've been blogging for about 15 years or so) wasn't all that successful because I just wrote about anything and everything; it lacked focus and direction. Now that I've been doing it a while, I find that I'm most comfortable and it seems best for those reading that I stick to the aforementioned, which is fine by me. Always plenty to write about on those topics. I think one thing that one who writes always has to be cognizant of is who their audience is, and to be true to your voice without being so self-focused that it serves no other purpose than for the self. You also have to be willing not to write just to garner likes, but to speak to the heart of others using whatever God has given you to do so. 

Related to the title at hand--I remember when Archbishop Vigano came on the scene, it was a very tantalizing message and scenario. He was "in hiding" and delivering these letters to warn people of things that were pertinent to the situation at hand. Seemed pretty solid, albeit sometimes unbelievable if you're not familiar with the rot in the Church. 

I think at some point people started to latch on to him. The merchandising and things ("'V' coffee mugs, etc) started to kind of make me say "Hm." Though this is just my personal speculation, I imagine he may have begun thinking "the message I have to deliver is so important that people simply must hear it." He sent a letter to President Trump. I read the letter, and I'm not a fan of buzzwords ("Deep State," etc.) so I was pretty turned off and felt like it undermined anything of substance he may have to say. He became like a Sydney Powell with a clerical collar. The message became diffused to the point that he would write warnings about all sorts of things, with more frequency, and I'm thinking to myself, "maybe he knows he's getting attention now, and feeling like he's someone important." 

Again, this is something I struggle with personally. If something is not worth saying or doesn't have any value, I try not to say it. But the temptation towards thinking you're someone important, that the world cannot live without whatever message you have, can crop up from time to time, and keeps me on guard. It goes back to that affirmation thing. I also take very seriously that I never want to lead anyone astray in the faith; I try to stick to the saints and the Catechism to keep from doing so, and qualify any personal stories as my own experience. I still don't call myself a writer, more just "a guy who writes some things." 

I watch YouTube videos, and Jordan Peterson is another one who came on the scene whom I was impressed by for his stand for free speech and not being bullied into using language inconsistent with reality. A university professor of Psychology at the time, when he was outed, he took to speaking engagements and publishing books on ways to live more authentically. He always had a kind of stoic bent, and seemed sympathetic and even close to the edge of belief, but stuck to the mythological narrative of Christ as the perfect man and always stopped short of would be a relatively straightforward profession: "Jesus Christ is Lord, and I believe He is the Son of God." 

But he hasn't done that, and that's fine. Maybe he is on a journey. But he took the Vigano route as well, in pumping out videos and doing interviews on every topic under the sun in a kind of self-assured manner that "if one just does x, y will happen." Again, his background is in psychology, not philosophy or theology, and has has a bent towards Stoicism. He is a smart man, and he knows it. Is he open to more? To being corrected? I think so, but it must be a challenge when you're that smart. I wonder if it's kind of an issue of getting your name out there and hitting the circuit to pay the bills, now that he is not a professor anymore? In any case, it seems he has something to say about every topic imaginable. I still like some of his videos (I was watching his "Epic Rant" on YouTube last night about why there aren't more women at the top in corporate America), but the diffusion makes me think it's just about being a figure now that perhaps regards himself as more important then he really is. 

Consumer culture is tough. It's tough for the faith, it's tough for religion, and it's tough for anyone to stay relevant for too long. Things change so fast. People's tastes change, and consumers have all the power to simply tune you out. It doesn't lend itself to slow, steady consistency or depth. You have to manipulate algorithms and use click-baity titles to keep people tuning in. That's not a way to invest in "building up the health of the soil" when you don't have time to self-reflect because you're always pumping out letters or videos to stay in the public eye. 

It's always hard to keep our motivations pure. I think what's important for the person of faith who has been gifted with whatever God has given you--whether it's athletics, or comedy, or math, or whatever) is to use all things for the glory of God. We shouldn't be afraid to use our gifts and we shouldn't bury them, but we shouldn't get carried away by big heads either. If you do, you'll feel it, because the fall is swift. It would be good to pray for the intercession of St. Thomas, the Angelic Doctor, who regarded his voluminous writings and work as nothing but dross when compared to the glory of God. We do not live for ourselves, but for Christ!