When the Columbine massacre occurred on April, 20th, 1999, I had only been a Catholic for a few months. I was still getting tuned in to the Christian world, so I may not have picked up right away on the "martyr-story" of student Cassie Bernall. The teenage was reportedly asked by the gunman at point blank range "Do you believe in God?" to which she responded in the affirmative. And he shot her dead.
Apparently, much like the Matthew Shepard gay-martyr narrative, things didn't happen this way, though. Bernall's classmate, Valeen Schnurr, was the one who was asked this question and though she was shot, she survived. The stories got conflated, but the Bernall "She Said Yes" narrative persisted. Reverend Dave McPherson, Youth Pastor at Cassie's congregation at West Bowles Community Church, told Hanna, “You will never change the story of Cassie.... The church is going to stick to the martyr story. You can say it didn’t happen that way, but the church won’t accept it.” The narrative spurned a wave of "I will die for Jesus" sentiment among zealous Evangelical teenagers, akin to the Promise Ring trend in the 1990's.
One thing among many that I appreciate about the Church is the objective criteria She uses to determine things--that is, what makes a valid/natural/sacramental marriage, the canonization process of a would-be saint, what constitutes a miracle, the authenticity of a vision, what constitutes the conditions for a sin to be mortal, and, in this case, what makes a martyr.
Dominican Fr Benedict Ashley writes:
"True martyrdom requires three conditions: (1) that the victim actually die, (2) that he or she dies in witness of faith in Christ which is directly expressed in words, or implicitly in acts done or sins refused because of faith, and (3) that the victim accepts death voluntarily. They are not martyrs who do not actually die, or die from disease, for the sake of merely natural truths, or heresy, or for their country in war, or through suicide, etc.
'Martyr' is often used loosely of anyone who dies for the sake of any cause. But the Christian cause is in fact objectively true, and not a subjective illusion, as are many of the causes for which persons die sincerely but deludedly. Thus those who die for the sake of fanatical religious cults, or as terrorists, or for their own glory, however sincere, are not genuine martyrs, but are objectively suicides. Nor are those who die for a noble but merely human motive, as the parent who dies to save a child, or a soldier for his country, since such virtuous acts can pertain simply to the order of natural virtue."
If my pious friends are anything like me, they may occasionally daydream of meeting the Lord and being greeted by the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." This life is not worth much to me, and so I look forward to the day when I can offer it to the Lord--but only in the way He calls it from me.
When I think of the Columbine story, being asked "Do you believe in God?" and answering "Yes" is like the lowest level of witness. Even the demons believe in God and would answer the same. But such "opportunities" (if we think of it like that) are few and far between. As Americans, we would more often be dragged though the courts or sued into destitution then strung up from a tree limb to be used as an example to others. We don't live in Roman times; we are not missionaries in the Middle East. The odds of any of us dying for the faith as true martyrs is as likely as winning the Powerball, I would think.
And yet, we massage the daydream, because it's a distraction from the slog of living the virtues day in and day out on the long, narrow road to sanctification. The little things we suffer we imagine ourselves as persecuted with our first-century brothers and sisters whom we read about. We also have the unfortunate tendency to conflate nationalism with aspects of the faith, and in other aspects are quick to draw Nazi or "gold-star" imagery to draw attention to our plight.
One telling sign that indicates the contrary to the martyr-complex is that you do not illicit joy. You are like one of those our Lord criticizes for having a gloomy continence when fasting (Mt 6:16). The fact of the matter is you may be a martyr for a cause, or you may take a hit standing up to a totalitarian overstep by government, but you are not promised a martyr's crown as a result. Playing the martyr is not a good look when it's not earned. And to earn it in the U.S. is a rare thing indeed. So, better settle in for the long slog of dying to self everyday, quietly doing secret penance in reparation, and loving one's neighbor sincerely, Prepare to live a long life, and consider it a grace when you may be taken home early. Your martyr day-dream fantasies may be just that.
Thank you
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