"But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled; my steps had nearly slipped,
Because I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
Such, then, are the wicked, always carefree, increasing their wealth
Is it in vain that I have kept my heart pure, washed my hands in innocence?
For I am afflicted day after day, chastised every morning.
Had I thought, 'I will speak as they do,' I would have betrayed this generation of your children.
Though I tried to understand all this, it was too difficult for me,
Till I entered the sanctuary of God and came to understand their end."
(Psalm 73:2-3,12-17)
Sometimes scripture speaks words into us more potently than the words we formulate for ourselves. This was the case tonight in praying the Psalms (69-73). I apologize I don't have anything more to write; I am feeling pretty hollowed out these days. I open my mouth and it is like a dry spigot. I put one foot in front of the other, will my devotion in the absence of feeling. Doubt is like a lapdog that won't leave me alone but is constantly running into my line of sight and nipping at me from afar. Like I said, the Psalmist spoke to my heart this evening, gave me the words I didn't have myself in desolation. I pray the Lord will sustain me.
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