Daryl Davis is a fascinating man...my kind of guy. The R&B musician who made a point of befriending members of the KKK as a way of coaxing the white hoods out of their grip said this,
"The most important thing I learned is that when you are actively learning about someone else you are passively teaching them about yourself. So if you have an adversary with an opposing point of view, give that person a platform. Allow them to air that point of view, regardless of how extreme it may be. And believe me, I’ve heard things so extreme at these rallies they’ll cut you to the bone.
Give them a platform.
You challenge them. But you don’t challenge them rudely or violently. You do it politely and intelligently. And when you do things that way chances are they will reciprocate and give you a platform. So he and I would sit down and listen to one another over a period of time. And the cement that held his ideas together began to get cracks in it. And then it began to crumble. And then it fell apart."
I've seen the Socratic method in action, mostly on social media and through those who are steeped in logic and love to debate (like Ben Shapiro). I'm sure it works to change minds on issue in some cases and there's a place for it. But most people steeped in ignorance are not thinking logically, not connecting on that level. It also belies the adage that I find to be true, "no one cares what you know until they know that you care." So, Davis' unorthodox approach to winning someone over is attractive to me, and after going into the lion's den and leading more than 200 Klansman away from their formerly racist life, it's hard to argue that it doesn't work.
I think this approach could have potential in the work of pro-life activism. It's a different approach, for sure. Most of the time, the escorts and pro-abortion activists are dug in because they see us as the enemy. They are on the defensive. And we see their actions and ideology as abhorrent (which it is). But rarely do we 'cross the aisle' with an open mind--not to agree with what they believe, but to say, "you know, let's suspend that for a moment and just meet on a human level.' There would be many that wouldn't agree; you don't sit down with murderers or invite them into your home to share a meal. You hold up your signs and yell from the sidewalk in order to get your point across. In it, you make clear what side you are on.
There is one of Aesop's fables that speaks to this,
The North Wind and the Sun had a quarrel about which of them was the stronger. While they were disputing with much heat and bluster, a Traveler passed along the road wrapped in a cloak.
"Let us agree," said the Sun, "that he is the stronger who can strip that Traveler of his cloak."
"Very well," growled the North Wind, and at once sent a cold, howling blast against the Traveler.
With the first gust of wind the ends of the cloak whipped about the Traveler's body. But he immediately wrapped it closely around him, and the harder the Wind blew, the tighter he held it to him. The North Wind tore angrily at the cloak, but all his efforts were in vain.
Then the Sun began to shine. At first his beams were gentle, and in the pleasant warmth after the bitter cold of the North Wind, the Traveler unfastened his cloak and let it hang loosely from his shoulders. The Sun's rays grew warmer and warmer. The man took off his cap and mopped his brow. At last he became so heated that he pulled off his cloak, and, to escape the blazing sunshine, threw himself down in the welcome shade of a tree by the roadside.
What if we just suspended our disgust and did this kind of dirty work of risky engagement? I like Davis' out of the box thinking. He's not about the sides or the image or caring what team people think he's on or doing things just to be seen as putting in the effort: he's doing what he's doing to get results:
"I had one guy from an NAACP branch chew me up one side and down the other, saying, “You know, we’ve worked hard to get 10 steps forward. Here you are sitting down with the enemy having dinner, you’re putting us 20 steps back.”
I pull out my robes and hoods and say, “Look, this is what I’ve done to put a dent in racism. I’ve got robes and hoods hanging in my closet by people who’ve given up that belief because of my conversations sitting down to dinner. They gave it up. How many robes and hoods have you collected?” And then they shut up."
What can we learn from this kind of unorthodox method of converting those most 'out there?' Well, for one it seems to square with the Christian ethos of "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." (Lk 6:27-28). So it's a betrayal of nothing, except maybe what we are used to doing in conventional ways. Christ walked straight through Samaria. He picked up a woman from the dirt rather than stone her. He tells the parable of the Good Samaritan to illustrate the point of those who love the unlovable in spite of the convention that says not to.
Two, it gives new meaning to the dirty word 'dialogue.' I don't think dialogue is necessarily a bad thing, except when it becomes masturbatory. Part of Davis' background as a child of foreign service workers was exposure to and being educated in different cultures from all over the world at an early age. So, there was a lot to learn from others. And the more extreme cases, the better it works. But, as Davis says,
“There are a lot of well meaning white liberals. And a lot of well meaning black liberals,” he said. “But you know what? When all they do is sit around and preach to the choir it does absolutely no good. If you’re not a racist it doesn’t do any good for me to meet with you and sit around and talk about how bad racism is.”
Third, it challenges our faith in a way that gets us out of our bubbles and echo chambers. If you are strong in your faith, you don't have to fear. We are not given a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of sobriety (2 Tim 1:7). It gives us a missionary heart in our own wicked country. It allows us to work one by one in the work of converting the culture. Because you are putting yourself out there with the potential or embarrassment or failure, it tests your resolve. Then again, what do you really have to lose? If you invite a pro-abort to have coffee, or a rabid atheist over for dinner, the worst they can do is say 'no.'
Finally, I think this kind of technique works well when you are very open minded, and not invested in the outcome, but willing to just ride the boat to wherever it drifts to. Not everyone is open to friendship or being openminded--but some may be. Some may be on the precipice of changing their mind about what they are involved in, but no one has extended a hand to them. That hand could be yours. Bubbles are safe, comfortable. We know what those in our bubbles believe, and you are 'let in' because of that.
But walking into a lion's den filled with those who hate you, and extending your hand--there's something to that, something admirable. Something that requires not only Christian faith, but faith in humanity and a willingness to think outside the conventional box. I wouldn't believe it if Mr. Davis' didn't have the hoods to prove that it has potential. But he does. And so I do.
Related:
If We Are Wrong, God Almighty Is Wrong
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