#savageandtrue

 

Hate to say it, but there's a lot of truth in this tweet. I think about it every time someone dies, and I think it will be true for me as well. Of course, to the one to whom your absence leaves a gaping hole, who *do* give a sh*t about you, these losses are not so easily forgotten or healed. That is usually family, and maybe a one or two close friends if you are fortunate. 

It's not morose, it's not mean, and it's not even depressing. It's just very perceptive. There is some freedom there--the freedom from the illusion that you are more important than you are, that your work or your contributions to society will be enshrined somehow, when most likely it won't even take ten years to forget everything you've ever done. It also can allow us the freedom in realizing that, that the only thing that matters is your eternal trajectory, your standing before God, and your judgment. Everything else is toppings on the coffin.

I do check in on Steve from time to time--he's wounded, cynical, jaded, and apostate, but I also think he hits the mark sometimes. I give him credit for that. 

I'm working on letting go of that expectation that people will remember me when I'm gone. I already have friends who I used to talk to regularly who have drifted away; this has happened consistently over the years, so it shouldn't surprise me. Like I said, there's some freedom there, if I can shift my expectations to bring them in line with the realization that yes, most people just have "their own issues to worry about," and you are not in the forefront of their thoughts--even when you find yourself in periods of great need. 

That's okay! I don't blame them. I probably do the same thing! I am a king of misplaced expectations. I think the sooner we can let that go, the more we realize that those who would feel that hole of our absence for years on end...is a very short list.